Stalls changed without being told

[JudyandPunch]

Ok, I am new to this horse world, so that I would appreciate advice on this.

My daughter (just turned 11 yo) has a full loan on her lovely pony. We have been fortunate to find a great place that works so well in many aspects.

But here is the kick: yesterday, the barn owner moved DD’s pony from an inside-facing stall to an outside-facing one. This was done to accommodate another horse who was having some issues with the horse next to him. Nobody told us about this move, despite us being at the barn every day during summer so therefore easily available for a quick chat.

I feel now the environment has changed for my daughter. She no longer has adults around her when she is at the stall with her pony. Granted, there are adults around the tack area, and I guess she should be when grooming and getting Pony ready for her ride. I also feel they should have explained to us what they were planning on doing. We're we taken for granted? I mean we spend an enormous amount of money on the loan and barn costs? Should we have a say or at least be told in advance? The barn owner told me she reserves the right to move the horses as she sees fit. 🤨 To complicate things, the pony’s owner works at the barn and was present when the move occurred. I feel she was told about the move and was ok with it. The barn owner insists it was solely her decision and that she will do what she sees fit for the wellbeing of the animals.

Is it wrong to feel that this has been clumsily handled? Should we have been told about the plans beforehand? I can’t shake off the feeling that they would do this to an adult (i.e., move your horse without telling you first)? Am I wrong to be upset that DD no longer has adults' supervision at most times? She is very responsible, but still only 11 yo.

Am I wrong to be upset? What is the done thing regarding moving horses’ stall?

It's not like renting a home. You don't rent a specific field or stall, you pay to keep your horse there and the yard owner decides where each horse goes. That will sometimes change depending on what horses currently live there. It's a place to keep a horse, it's not a childcare facility. The yard owner isn't responsible for your DC, you are. If they can't be left unsupervised for behavioural, safety, age-related or "yard rules" reasons then you need to accompany them and stay with them at the yard. You should never rely on the yard owner, yard staff or other liveries to keep an eye on your DC.

Is part of your barn costs paying someone to supervise your DD?

Or was that something you were benefitting from but actually it's nobody's job there to watch her? It's a barn, not a daycare.

The safety and wellbeing of the animals do need to come first, and a stall move is fairly common when horses come and go.

FWIW you sound like you're in America from your language use. Maybe things are different there. I'm UK. In UK if you were on DIY livery you'd find this sort of moving around is done with more notice and sometimes by mutual agreement only (meaning if two horses fighting next to each other, tough luck, unless one horses owner find someone willing to swap with them). This is because on DIY, the horses owner pays for absolutely everything including the bedding, so moving stall isn't practical either without warning or more than very occasionally. In America I think you've mainly got full livery or part livery (which we also have in UK but it's less common), where the yard is providing hay and bedding. In those instances the horse owner isn't inconvenienced financially (or alternatively in time/effort due to not having to barrow across all the bedding to the new stall) by moving stalls.

My daughter competes on show jumping so she doesn't have any behaviour issue at all.

Just making that clear.

Unless you're paying for it, it is no one else's responsibility to care for your child or provide adult oversight. It's yours, and yours alone.

Re moving stall? Yeah, it's a bummer, the owner was told and they should have passed the message on. But equally, it's the yard owners perogative to move things as they see fit, to benefit overall welfare.

And she was actually invited to spend summer at the barn helping out because, as I mentioned before, she is very responsible. Yes, we are in America, in the Silicon Valley area. I say that for context: competition here is high, and prices even higher. We pay for everything ( feeding, supplements, chiro, barn fees, lessons, the lot). It's expensive but very rewarding to see my young DD pours her heart and soul in it.

As I said, we are knew to this and I welcome learning. I guess we were expecting more communication though. One learn something new everyday.

One learns

So really the only issue with moving is that there will be less people supervising / hanging about whilst your daughter deals with her pony ,as you haven’t said that the box is smaller or anything . Unless you are paying someone to supervise then that is your responsibility in which case there is no problem with the move .

You would pay all those things wherever you are USA / UK , horses are expensive .

Why are you expecting the other adults that may or may not be around to supervise your child? They wouldn't be able to see her if she was mucking out or grooming anyway. It's a false sense of security to think there were other adults around so your daughter will be okay. If she isn't okay on her own, then I'm afraid you will have to be there with her (not sure why you aren't anyway?).

Got it, I am wrong. It would have been nice to get told, but ultimately it not my right.

DD is super happy there so I will keep quiet. I appreciate, sort of, the blunt feedback. It made me realise that the equestrian
world is a like any other competitive sports. Parents: pay up and shut up.

I get you op! You are paying a good amount, they should have consulted you, just to let you know the move needed to happen at the very least.
When I had my horses, I always found yards very cliquey and there was always favouritism of the people who had more than one horse there. Obviously the yard owner wants to keep them happy firstly. Not right though, you are all paying customers.

@JudyandPunch

Got it, I am wrong. It would have been nice to get told, but ultimately it not my right.

DD is super happy there so I will keep quiet. I appreciate, sort of, the blunt feedback. It made me realise that the equestrian
world is a like any other competitive sports. Parents: pay up and shut up.

Why do you think it is their there responsibility to watch your child though? Presumably they move the horses how it best fits the horses, not the unaccompanied children. I'm surprised they are allowing your child to be there without an adult present at 11 years old. Why are you leaving her there and for how long? What would happen if she got injured? Who is looking out for her?

I’ve read all the posts and I think YABU for thinking they should stable your loan pony next to horses based on you getting supervision for your 11yo. I also think you are a TERRIBLE communicator based on this thread and are misogynous so that may have contributed to the difficulties you are having.

Wow. Throwing round insults does you no favours.

@JudyandPunch

My daughter competes on show jumping so she doesn't have any behaviour issue at all.

Just making that clear.

It was an example no need to be touchy. And showjumper or not makes no difference to people's difficulties. You sound snippy and entitled. I'm done.

I'm confused. Is it a stable yard/livery yard where you pay to keep your pony or is it a supervised activity place where you pay for your child to attend?
A young child shouldn't be left to do the stable work by herself without an adult who is legally responsible for her to supervise or at least be nearby. What if something happened? A kick while mucking out? Her getting barrelled over by her horse and it getting loose? Where are you when your child is at the stable yard?

And as someone who grew up with a livery yard, my family certainly would not have been happy to play free babysitters and stable hands to children.

Leaving an 11 year old without adults for long with a pony is a generally bad idea….

And above any horse care arrangements it is the parent’s obligation to arrange for someone to look after the child