Buying first horse at 40 - way overthinking this

[bandito]

I've been a lurker for a while and have bored my friends rigid about wanting to buy a horse for most of my adult life - they now mostly go glazed over as they don't think I'm ever going to take the plunge. So, I am now in a position to actually do it and need to put my money where my mouth is. Truth is, I am extremely risk averse and terrified of making a dangerous and expensive mistake.

I need to find out about local livery, and presumably you do this before you buy or will they laugh at me for not having a horse yet? I have a budget of £3000 max. for a 14-15hh that can live out, will jump a little, do a basic level dressage for local shows and most of all be kind on the ground and a friend. I have a horse similar to this in mind but the owner wants me to make an offer - she won't name a price and this has freaked me out in case my offer is stupidly low or dumbly high. I worried less about buying my house! I have horse-owning friends but I am worried they will think I am wasting their time. I have shared before, but never taken the plunge.

I need Kirsty and Phil to come and help me in a horse Location as I have no horsey family and feel alone doing this. My usual solution to problems like this is to buy a book and follow the step-by-step instructions. Any recommendations or advice? Thank you

She does all sorts Essexmummy. My mare is very much a quiet happy hacker who I bought for £2,450. Julia told my friend that she doesn't want a horse to come back to her so she likes to make sure the buyer and horse will be as well suited as possible. My mare wasn't on the website, I phoned on the off chance as I had been let down by another dealer (and was thoroughly fed up), my mare had literally arrived that day and they hadn't had time to put her through her paces etc. I had to phone back later in the day after they had assessed her. Fate was obviously on my side that day .

Buying a horse is a bit of a lottery, there is a saying that you win or lose the day you buy a horse , you can only do things to lower the risks eg going to a reputable dealer, getting the horse vetted, getting the livery right so you and the horse are set up to succeed.

Good luck, I had a lovely hack today, my little mare was an absolute star when a farmer in a field alongside the bridleway decided to set up and test a birdscarer! Love her to pieces

:-) I know what you mean about the polished Bandito, everyone always looks so much smarter than me - people that turn up for lessons in beautifully ironed cream jodhpurs and jacket, it just makes me think that they must be advanced professional types, whereas I throw on whatever fleece is vaguely clean and to hand.

Also I think some people can be a bit negative when it comes to your first horse, which can stamp on your confidence a little bit.

I'm currently looking to view a lovely kind 14.2 hardy happy hacking cob who can do a little bit of jumping and is good in traffic - sounds perfect for what I need - but... I haven't waited until I'm 39 to not buy the horse that i can have aspirations with - to attempt some kind of elegance at dressage, I want the horse of my dreams but not to be over-horsed.

Maybe I will call Julia and explain all this :-)

We have just bought a New Forest pony (Forest bred), totally new breed for us having had Shetlands, Welsh Sec As & Bs and Connies. Now I know not all ponies of a breed are the same but I have to say I am blown away by how completely unspookable this NF is! Having done a little research it seems that being born in the Forest and exposed early to traffic and people and all that go with them seems to help create the ultimate explosion proof pony!!! Either that, or we have just found a gem . I'm a complete NF convert now - he is affectionate (far more so than any of the Welsh ponies!!!), intelligent and happy to do what ever is asked of him, albeit a bit lazily! Might be worth you taking a look at a few New Forests?

I have used 2 very very good dealers/producers in the past. Neither of them is that close to you unfortunately but sometimes it is worth travelling for the perfect pony. First recommendation would be Helen at Cattybrook Horses (just outside Bristol). Helen specialises in safe and steady ponies and horses and is very clever at matching people and ponies. She does (or certainly did) offer a lease scheme, whereby you could take the horse away and pay a monthly lease amount - if all works out and you decide to keep horse then the amount paid for lease is deducted from the selling price. All her horses are trained on RDA principles, so that if they sense the reins have been dropped, they automatically know to come to a halt. I really cannot recommend Helen highly enough, she is happy for people to spend as much time as they need, never any pressure and always willing to answer question after question! I haven't been down to see her recently but just had a quick squizz on her FB page and this is the first ad she has up at the mo...

Oops, forgot to mention the second dealer/producer I think are fab - Marsh Ponies in Hampshire. Again, they specialise in a certain "type" - safe and sensible Irish all-rounders. May be a bit beyond your budget but definitely worth contacting them if you like what you see on their Facebook/web site.

I am 41 and bought my first pony (for daughter) 6 years ago. I now have quite a collection and have even started riding myself on my very own 14.2 cob . It's never to late to start buying ponies!!!

I also wouldn't let age (young or old) put you off. Temperament is so much more important. I always said I would never buy a pony aged under 10 but now I actually have 2 that are only 6 years old and they are the sweetest, most keen to please, and least spooky of them all! They haven't learnt any bad manners or habits and are just fab 😊
Best of luck with you search. I really look forward to hearing your updates and hope
you find your perfect friend soon.

How exciting!

My one single top tip would be to be willing to sell the horse if it isn't working out. However thorough you are, and even if you are experienced, sometimes the horse you get is just not right for you, and you need to be willing to admit that quickly and move on before you waste time and money and put yourself off or, worse, scare yourself or hurt yourself.

Also, and this is a personal thing, I wouldn't touch a loan with a bargepole - there is so much scope for the relationship to go wrong.

I don't think there's anything wrong per se with buying a horse which has been on working livery - it's good that you're familiar with him. However, "grumpy about jumping" is not good if you want to jump. You would need to sort out the physical or mental issue and that will take time and knowledge. if you don't want to jump, not a problem!

I spend loads of time looking at horses for sale websites! If you want to give me his vital stats, I will give you my opinion on value?! Size, age, breed, competition record if any, what he has done, health history.

Well I went to see the 14.2 bombproof happy hacking cob earlier, it was blowing a gale - 45mph winds and the owner wasn't able to ride it first and she mentioned that the horse was a bit 'tetchy' so i asked if she would just lead me for a few minutes until i felt confident that all was well. The owner said that the horse is ridden without any contact at all, e.g just loosely holding the buckle at the very end of the reins and I just couldn't get comfortable with that idea, e.g stopping/steering and it wasn't the weather for me to want to try and get used to it so called it quits after a short walk.

She seemed to be quite food motivated, immediately trying to mug me for treats and the owner brought out a bucket of food at the mounting block in order for her to stand still to be mounted, I could understand maybe a reward after having learnt to stand still but not in order to stand still.

Pretty mare but I think the way that she's using to be ridden/trained etc didn't gel with me, I'd equated bombproof with calmer but glad I went!

Have a look at Horses4Homes.

It is for people looking to rehome their horses for a multitude of reasons but don't want to 'sell' them on to an uncertain future.

The good thing about it is the owners can be brutally honest about their horses. Some are a bit on the aged side, (which makes me sad) but you can get younger ones that people are looking to rehome because of changed circumstances etc.

Crikey Essexmummy1234 'Tetchy' to the point that its actual owner wasn't able to ride it? That's a new one on me. Sounds like a good call you made. Still, it's one step nearer to your horse.

Ah no, maybe i worded that badly, the owner has given up for health reasons thats why she wasn't going to ride her.

Please don't buy such crap sob stories. If the owner is too sick to ride they should arrange for someone else to show the horse off. No genuine buyer would expect you to sit on the horse first. This is a common scam to get you to sit on a maniac and hope it behaves itself for long enough for you to buy it.

I went to see a horse a few months ago and insisted the owner's daughter rode it first - it dumped her on the road. Hmm, well I thought I'd see it walk, trot, canter but it dumped her again and then took off into the distance. When it was finally caught it had fallen over twice, lost a shoe and broken the bridle. Not a hard decision to walk away really! To their credit they didn't say "he's never done this before" and were hugely apologetic but nothing on earth would have persuaded me to get on.

When viewing make absolutely sure that someone needs to be available to ride it before you, that they know what your plans are for the horse and if at all possible take someone else with you. Don't be rushed into anything, and be prepared to walk away - if they say they've got someone else interested then still don't be rushed. The horse I did buy I was very casual about although I loved him - I said I liked him after I'd tried but that I'd like time to decide. A decent seller wants a good home for their horse and should be (within reason) happy for you to take a bit of time. As a buyer though don't mess sellers about by exaggerating your ability or anything, being late, not turning up and make sure you let them know either way if you want it or not.