Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
The tack room

Discuss horse riding and ownership on our Horse forum.

Original poster

Buying first horse at 40 - way overthinking this

61 replies

bandito · 31/01/2016 16:10

I've been a lurker for a while and have bored my friends rigid about wanting to buy a horse for most of my adult life - they now mostly go glazed over as they don't think I'm ever going to take the plunge. So, I am now in a position to actually do it and need to put my money where my mouth is. Truth is, I am extremely risk averse and terrified of making a dangerous and expensive mistake.

I need to find out about local livery, and presumably you do this before you buy or will they laugh at me for not having a horse yet? I have a budget of £3000 max. for a 14-15hh that can live out, will jump a little, do a basic level dressage for local shows and most of all be kind on the ground and a friend. I have a horse similar to this in mind but the owner wants me to make an offer - she won't name a price and this has freaked me out in case my offer is stupidly low or dumbly high. I worried less about buying my house! I have horse-owning friends but I am worried they will think I am wasting their time. I have shared before, but never taken the plunge.

I need Kirsty and Phil to come and help me in a horse Location as I have no horsey family and feel alone doing this. My usual solution to problems like this is to buy a book and follow the step-by-step instructions. Any recommendations or advice? Thank you

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 02/02/2016 14:08

I'd look round at livery yards first as many do not do 24 hrs turnout all year , I wouldn't do working livery because I'm a control freak . That said I would possibly buy a horse that had been in a riding school , infact many years ago I did and she was lovely but I think that was because she must have been a terrible school horse - temperamental jumper and not that good on the road .

Anotherusernamechange · 02/02/2016 19:33

Essexmummy, please feel free to pm me if you'd like to run any dealers by me

Equiem89 · 02/02/2016 19:41

another could you PM me with the name of who to avoid in Basildon thanks

Anotherusernamechange · 02/02/2016 20:15

Have sent you a pm

Solmum2b · 02/02/2016 20:33

I would definitely suggest a part loan with someone if you can find it first of all- it shares the cost and the responsibility. Depending on your height/ weight, I would also recommend getting an Icelandic horse. They live out, are suprisingly strong (as in weight carriers) and fast, and tolting (the gait between walk and trot) is really fun. They can also handle all weathers- very low maintenance in comparison to some other horses

EssexMummy1234 · 02/02/2016 20:36

Thank-you Another - I've actually only found one other dealer in Essex and he does seem to have an excellent reputation, but mainly for young competition horses, which is not what I'm looking for - i'm just looking for a kind horse that is sensible to hack out and is happy to have a quiet life possibly with a little go at low level competitions. There are one or two riding schools that i think sell their horses but they would be used to a busy yard and a full workload which is again not what I'm after.

Are there any dealers you could recommend? PM if we're not allowed to name individuals.

Anotherusernamechange · 02/02/2016 21:01

Personally I would buy a privately owned horse that had been in the same home for a few years and done the job you want the horse to do. I know a number of horses are advertised as 'working in our riding school', but in reality they may only do for a couple of weeks and often have been recently backed. Essex horse riders, or similar Facebook sites are a good source of genuine private adverts. You can strike lucky with dealers of course, just depends on what they get in. The only dealer I would hand on heart recommend is Safe Cobs, renamed The Cob Company I believe, but not sure if they are still trading.

EssexMummy1234 · 02/02/2016 21:57

Sadly I think previous posters here have not had such a great experience with safecobs / mysafecobs.

Anyway Bandito, sorry to hijack your thread :-) have you had a look at any livery yards yet?

Original poster
bandito · 03/02/2016 18:12

That's fine Smile no, not yet. I have sent an email to the locallest last weekend but they have not responded and may not have any spaces. I did enquire about another horse in my price range locally, but he didn't jump at all so I won't go to see him as I have no idea how to teach a horse to jump! The idea of riding a horse I didn't know in front of its owner is pretty terrifying as well - there's no way I'd go along just for the ride. Still, I'm a step forwarder than I was last week so it's all good. I've waited this long so I'm in no rush.

OP posts:
Biggles398 · 03/02/2016 19:11

There are a few dealers down South that do have very good reputations - where you've looked at the dodgy dealer site on fb, there's also a 'trusted' site.
There are also a few riding schools that also deal - so always worth looking into (although I had a not so nice experience with one recently).
Whether you go for a privately owned one or one on sales livery / from a dealer, just go with your eyes open. Have an idea of what you want and what you will / won't compromise on (years ago I was after a dark bay gelding. There was no way I wanted a grey and absolutely didn't want a mare. Ended up with my horse of a lifetime....yes, a grey mare!!)
Sooo exciting!!!

EssexMummy1234 · 03/02/2016 21:56

I've now passed what I'm looking for to a reputable local dealer and a local riding school that sells horses - I'm also worried about riding in front of an owner - Bandito we need some kind of positive thinking riding mantra to distract us :-)

ExConstance · 04/02/2016 07:41

Ah yes, DH and I always had the stipulation "no Greys" in our horse owning days, but alway;s ended up with one (well, brown and green most of the time)

bimandbam · 04/02/2016 08:42

I have 2 grey section a ponies. Bought myself a highland pony. Definitely wasn't going to be grey.

She is cream dun. To go grey. Sigh.

Have you looked at any of the sanctuaries OP? They do sometimes have ponies suitable for riding up for adoption. Worth having a look and registering an interest. Also make yourself a member of your local riding clubs fb pages. Quite often there is a little gem to be found on those pages plus you can put livery wanted ads on and little yards sometimes advertise on there with livery availability. Also do the same if there are any hunts local to you and sometimes the hunting community will know of local traders who can help.

briss · 04/02/2016 10:00

I would turn him down if he was grumpy about jumping - obviously you don't want a world beater but grumpy about one thing usually leads to being grumpy about lots of things IME

I agree why not part loan or share first?

Good, kind safe 14.2's are a bit like gold dust, but I think you could get what you wanted if you bought something older. Keep an eye on your local pony/riding club websites. Don't buy ANYTHING from a riding school or working livery yard. Buy something that's been loved from a private home.

Booboostwo · 04/02/2016 10:37

You really have to put your brave pants on and go out trying horse. You are most likely to find the horse you want through a private home, someone who has outgrown their first horse and wants to move onto something livelier.

If you do go on viewings, ask to see the horse trotted up, see it saddled up, absolutely insist the owner gets on first (walk away from anything the owner won't ride) and if all looks good pop on for a walk, trot canter. All this time ask as many questions as you can about the horse, e.g. its history, past medical problems, how is he to handle, ride, jump, hack, load, take to shows, for the farrier/vet/dentist, etc. If you like the horse ask to come back for a little jump and take it for a short hack. You can always ask for a loan with a view to buy but good horses will be sold very quickly and are usually not available for loan. Always get a horse vetted before buying.

thetemptationofchocolate · 04/02/2016 12:05

I got my first horse in my mid-thirties, I knew nothing at all.
I bought an old horse in poor condition, because I liked him, he was friendly and needed someone to love him.
I know it was for all the wrong reasons, and I didn't have him for all that long (about 6 years) BUT he was the perfect first horse as he had been there and done it all. I learned a lot from him and I loved him dearly. He was also cheap to buy due to his age. I kept him until the end of his days and he was my best friend during that time.
I know you should let your head be in charge but you also have instincts which you should take some note of!

EssexMummy1234 · 04/02/2016 20:23

The Connemara is lovely Briss, anywhere near you OP?

Booboostwo · 05/02/2016 07:32

The Connemara is really nice, worth a visit even if far away.

countingto10 · 05/02/2016 16:29

Can highly recommend this dealer. I got my lovely (albeit grey) mare from her 5 years ago (after a 20 year break) and know numerous people who have also got horses from her and are happy with them.

Puppymouse · 05/02/2016 18:23

Out of interest what does everyone think of buying vs LWVTB?

Original poster
bandito · 05/02/2016 18:44

The Connemara looks lovely doesn't he?

OP posts:
Original poster
bandito · 05/02/2016 18:56

Thanks countingto10 this is near me - I might pluck up some courage and call them. I'm having more trouble with the livery though! Nowhere seems to have any space apart from true DIY which I don't think is going to be any good for my first horse.

OP posts:
EssexMummy1234 · 05/02/2016 19:47

Counting I was looking at her website earlier, I've heard very good things but I wondered if she does more competition type horses? and I'm looking for something that can live quietly at home, hacking, schooling with a little low level dressage maybe and I only have a budget of 3k max so might be well below her prices!

Bandito - sorry still hacking your thread :-) but what's putting you off DIY for your first horse? I'm sure you could still get some help if you couldn't get there twice a day. I know a couple of people that make part of their living by going to see to other people's horses on a regular basis.

Original poster
bandito · 05/02/2016 20:02

Not at all Essexmummy1234 it's nice to hear of someone in pretty much the same boat - hope we both end up with what we want. I guess after years of wanting this, and having DH say recently, "well, just do it then, stop going on about it" because we can afford it and the kids are older, I am now thinking of all the practical problems. I couldn't do mornings in the week term time because we're already up at 5.30am for work/school but we all finish early too so I could do evenings.

Also, and this is a bit (very) pathetic, I've always been the poor kid who loved horses but couldn't have one. Even now when I've been riding for years, everyone else at the yard seems so confident and competent and polished and has grown up with ponies etc etc and has a massive budget and endless free time I feel like a bit of an impostor, like I won't be taken seriously. This is all completely in my head.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread