Any specialist school/SEMH teachers?

[drspouse]

I'm wondering how to put this with school/what's fair.
DS is in a 10-16 SEMH school and is in Y6. He's not quite 11 and is in a class of 4 with one small/young Y7, one withdrawn Y7 and a 13 year old who attacks him and calls him horrible names.
DS can be aggressive and does call other children "dumb" and similar but is generally afraid of other children.
School say "they are both struggling" "six of one" and "we always stop X when he comes after DS". DS is afraid of him and likened him to the bully Brenda Payne in Christmasaurus. School say there are lots of reactive children and he can't move to a class without any.

Second issue is with the use of screen time. It's used as an incentive to e.g. get into class, finish work, as a break. He's allowed to play games on Poki (where you can find shooting/gun games, and I've seen him play these in class).
He's also allowed to watch gamers on YouTube (I have a separate thread on this). He's got a couple of favourite channels that include GTA etc, and he's come home saying he's watched them/a TA has game Y at home etc. These are not awful first person shooter type games but e.g. he talks about pushing people off buildings which is a theme etc.

What would be fair to ask? We just don't think this would be appropriate for a primary school. Would children in mainstream secondary be allowed to watch pretty much any gamer videos they wanted/play games with no age restriction in e.g. Y7??

We use a lot of tech controls at school e.g. screen time, Family Link, only videos we allow. We think it's our job to keep him safe, and to let him know we are keeping him safe, but what exactly can we ask school to do? What would happen in your school if you teach this group?

Sorry, to clarify, what I meant was if the unit has eg 10 places in a year, and they are allocated each year to y7s, if you apply in y8 or y9, a space may not be available. Have you applied to the in county school for this September? I guess the out of county school's unit is hugely oversubscribed but I still think there is nothing to lose in terms of trying to get a place.

I am sure the mainstream would have very different rules around internet use, but equally I do think you could discuss this with the current school. I think, personally, it's something I could put up with if it was just until September but there may be additional rules/safeguards the school can put in place.

In terms of the other child, by all means speak to the school again and explain how it is impacting your DS. But I really don't believe the school would be keeping these students together if they thought there was a better way of arranging the classes. I totally understand as a parent your sole priority is your DS, but they will be trying to balance the needs of all their students and keep them all safe. You don't have a legal right to insist he is in another class, but you could ask for a detailed plan explaining how he will be kept safe, for example. But obviously at a SEMH school, all children will have significant needs, so the school will (hopefully) be trying to balance those needs as well as they can. I can see your DS has had a hard time with schools, but many others at the school will be in a similar position, and some of the students may also be significantly more vulnerable than your DS.

If you genuinely don't think your DS is safe at school then you could go down the route of making a formal complaint etc, particularly if your DS is leaving soon. But it still may not have the outcome you want unfortunately.

I think the most positive outcome if your DS is so unhappy would be a school move for the start of Y7.

Thanks, that's clearer.
DS had a desk outside the room for about a week but it was taken away again. He said the other boy kept following him out when he would just go out for a break which school confirmed. He's back tomorrow and I might try and confirm arrangements today.
It's not just that we want to keep him safe but part of his disability is "everything is someone else's fault" which turns into "mum and dad make me get hurt and they don't care" so we feel he needs to see we DO care.

The schools have 8 or 16 places full stop (all years) in their bases. The out of county school has only 45 per year in the mainstream bit (it's very rural) and I think the in county one is a 4 form entry.

I think it's worth speaking to the school for that reason alone, then. I would definitely ensure there is some kind of time out arrangement for your son where he can have time alone (with an adult) and other students cannot follow. That is a pretty reasonable ask, I think.

I have heard of bases with e.g. 10 places in a year that are oversubscribed to the point of having 3-4 students apply for every place. So I can understand in that circumstance there has to be some kind of cut off, but I hope you can get a suitable place. A 4 form school is still quite small, so hopefully able to be nurturing and supportive.

It all sounds very tough- I would hope that getting a suitable place for September might make it easier for everyone to manage the current situation.

I would think carefully about a base. In my area, the secondary bases are not staffed by teachers (there is just one teacher who manages the provision). To receive any input pupils are expected to go to mainstream (class of 30, correct uniform, politeness etc required). The base is just a refuge and a place for a daily brief/ debrief. If a pupil cannot go to mainstream they are left in the base with a TA minding them with worksheets from mainstream at best.

There are reactive children in all of the bases and when in the base Y7-11 all mix together.

Helpful chat with class teacher today - she took notes on the apps we use to control his watching and agreed that YouTube is dangerous and can go off down a rabbit hole!
I think DS nemesis must be off (or DS is successfully avoiding him) as no more worries expressed about him.