Is criticising other staff common?

[Curtains778]

I'm a class TA in a year 4 class. We have a large number of children who struggle to behave in class (about 7). Some are because they have very dysfunctional homes and some because of things like autism. SLT doesn't provide much in terms of backup, but I think we've done a good job. Older TAs have made many comments to the teacher (who is early 20s) and I like 'they won't be behaving like that with me'. I find it so undermining for her and the teacher is now crying about it a lot.

Is this undermining common in schools? I've only worked at the one school and it has been like this for years.

I'm no longer a teacher but remember this sort of thing well.
Even if they could do better how does it help to point it out? Why not think of ways to be supportive instead.
The whole be kind thing didn't last long, did It?!

Have to say that I found PE teachers were amongst the worst for this.

"Oh, he is an absolute star for me." Yes, well he would be wouldn't he - he has aspirations to become the next Ronaldo and you get to send him off to the other side of the playing fields to run off his energy. You also demand he misses detentions in order to play for the school team. You should try getting him to sit and stay at a desk in a stuffy, overcrowded classroom and attempt to teach him so that he will get some kind of a grade in his GCSE, despite the fact that his dad tells him that he will never need GCSEs as he is such a talented footballer.

Sad to say in the many, many years I taught I had many students in class like this. Only one ever made it to play as a professional, and they lasted one season.

I am not having a go at PE or talented sportsmen and women. I am just pointing out that kids behave differently in different lessons. It is not always down to the teacher. Being told X is an angel for them really does not help. Even worse when that teacher likes the ego boost of being 'on side' with the kids.

I know exactly what you mean here and agree 100%.

It's very tough on young teachers as it makes you insecure and afraid to ask for advice or support. As you go on you get a thicker skin. I found if it gets into a school..staffroom it a difficult element to get rid of. I had experience of this in my first school . Then l moved and the atmosphere was more of..you're doing a great job..this penetrated down to new teachers and became the common remark. I noticed a lot of the younger teachers felt comfortable asking us oldies for advice and discussing strategies.

@junebirthdaygirl has nailed it. I've been teaching for decades and behaviour is not an issue. I did some subject-specific work in a primary school for 3 years alongside my main job and found some classes really tough. Most of the teachers were very helpful as they always had TAs with them whereas I was expected to teach up to 42 year 6s alone, and they did share strategies because it was in the culture of the school to be helpful and supportive.

In my main job, I have to work with a HoY who is young enough to be my own DD. She struggled with her NQT (we shared a TG and she frequently cried on me about her subject lead, assessment, blah blah). She now takes great delight in telling me how to manage her year-group. After following one piece of advice which led to a kid legging it from the room, I did the complete opposite and trusted my instinct & experience, which was much more successful. If younger or less-experienced colleagues ask for advice, I never say "do X", but rather "I find Y really helpful with that kid".

Some people are naturally bitchy and negative. I try to avoid them - I'm perfectly capable of being like that but I don't want to get trapped in a negative cycle. If people need to pump their own ego, smile, nod and disengage.

The oldest staffroom put down in the world, "I have no problems with him/her"