The Forty Fifth Republic - Can I get a hair appointment before the summer term starts?

[StaffRepFeistyClub]

You are most welcome to this school staff support thread to get us through stressful times. It is meant for school staff only – a sort of room of requirement. Baiters, haters, goaders, and bashers can jog on somewhere else.

If you are NOT staff and just have a general education query please start your own thread.

Do not give the staffroom password to non-staff as it attracts the wrong sort of crowd.

Other requirements for staff room entry include the ability to find the staff room, the ability to find a clean mug in the staff room, knowledge of the photocopier codes, and the ability to sniff out where the booze is stashed - Thirsty Tuesdays, Fizz Fridays now in operation. Do not sit on the chairs and do wear a mask

I wear ridiculous shoes - but I'm not on SLT and I promise not to buy an Audi TT.
I was once at a meeting with a local primary head who was moved to wonder what a local secondary deputy had come as. She was wearing a floofy princess dress with petticoats. It was very odd.

Grrrr. There’s a thread going on on AIBU about a parent concerned their child is in a form whatsapp group and there’s sexualised talk. Guess what the responses are?

@motherrunner

Grrrr. There’s a thread going on on AIBU about a parent concerned their child is in a form whatsapp group and there’s sexualised talk. Guess what the responses are?

Hmmm, let me see... is it 'Complain to the school' by any chance?

Bloody teachers failing to police what the kids do on their own devices in their own time in their own homes. Workshy lefty bastards.

Dunno, that one seems to be a genuine safeguarding concern rather than a naughty kids one.

I've just looked and, actually, I think this is one to report to the school! I stand corrected

Urgh.... some poor sod is going to spend half of next week trying to deal with that.

It's also a new poster or a name changer. Someone on the thread kindly advised people to engage mindful when sharing on the topic.

Agree it needs to be flagged to school but it can not just be the school’s responsibility. Parents need to speak to their children about what appropriate/inappropriate. I wish more parents would view their children‘s ‘chat’ and not let them have unlimited, unsupervised social media (well, until a certain age).

From the sounds of the chat there are safeguarding concerns. I'd welcome a government campaign to parents around social media and the levels of policing parents need to be doing. Too many parents don't have a clue because their parents gave them unrestricted access (because the parents didn't know better!).

I agree with you herc. It would be good to cover what safeguarding red flags need reporting, whilst also stressing that responsibility for children's social media use lies with the parents. Whilst it's right that safeguarding concerns are reported to schools, school staff cannot be responsible for what students do on their phones out of school.

We get a lot of "but it's his/her phone" / "but what can you do?" / "I can't get him/her off the internet".
My mum turns the router off at bedtime.

Checking phones on MN seems to be seen as a violation of privacy, like reading a diary.

Checking phones of children seems to be a violation of privacy on here, but checking your husband's or partner's phone just because is absolutely fine and reasonable to many people. It amazes me that sharing passwords, giving access to social media, declaring text messages is apparently proof an adult couple trusts each other, but checking a 13 year old isn't being groomed / isn't accessing violent pornography or other inappropriate content/ isn't being bullied / isn't being a bully is horrifyingly unreasonable and you should trust your child

That’s very true and also a very interesting comment on our current society, lola

Haven’t got time to work out exactly what it says now though! Definitely something around our lack of boundaries for children AKA putting their “rights” before anything else. I use speech marks as in fact we’re removing their rights to be safe and secure.

Is it that we don’t differentiate enough between adults and children, almost?

So many parents say stuff like "I don't know how to stop them" or "it's their phone" just like you describe MrsH. I now give suggestions like turn off WiFi, take the console controls to work with you, put phones downstairs before bed, check phones etc as appropriate. I didn't used to but now I genuinely think parents don't know what to do and hearing ideas that other parents do may help normalise the checking behaviour.

You have a point Jan.

Sometimes I wonder if people don't think about the reality of smart phone use. If you asked most parents whether they would allow strange adults to sit in their children's room overnight, they'd say no. If you asked most parents whether they would buy their child violent material or sexually explicit material, they'd say no. But then a sizable number of those parents will allow their children to have their smartphones 24/7.When we were in school bullying stopped at the school gates, but now it can follow a child anywhere. Few parents would allow bullies to come into their homes for a sleepover and allow their child to be verbally abused, but they allow a whatsapp group chat in their child's room all night.

Yep, and lockdown has made things worse in this department - I mean, my 6 year old is using a tablet a LOT more than we'd prefer, she was watching all sorts of stuff on Netflix while we were working. They've got net nannies on them, but still. Some of the 'PG' stuff isn't really PG for a child who has lots of nightmares.

My extremely sensible and rule-following 11 year old was given a phone first lockdown - earlier than we'd have wanted to but he needed to be able to talk to his friends. Even he ended up needing help when he was added to a group chat (without being asked) and it ended up being full of horrendous swearing. Kids definitely shouldn't be left to navigate this sort of thing on their own.

Oh, but they'll be behind in the job market if you don't give them a tablet to tap when they're six

It may also be an indictment on how knackered parents are in some instances. I certainly pick my battles when I'm busy and exhausted.

Last time I did a sneak check on ds's phone he had gotten a tiktok account on which he'd shared clips of him doing tricks on his bike but he'd stuck a smiley face thing over his head that completely hid his identity which I was actually really pleased by. We have the conversations but he's always like 'I'm not stupid' and to be fair when I last checked he's not.

Most of his interaction is in person or over the mic on ps4 with people who are his actual school friends or a known friend of a friend. I'm in a free trying to build up steam for last lesson. Was at the gym at 8am and am now less than lively.

I think some are more vulnerable - say for instance you were anxious about your sexuality or gender identity or had an eating disorder - you might then go looking for 'support' and end up down rabbit holes that the wrong kind of people know to hang out in looking for kids who are vulnerable because they're obviously looking online rather than to their family and friends and are already keeping a secret of some sort. Does that make sense?

They're the ones I really worry about - like an existing issue and lack of communication channel with their carers driving them online and not realising those spaces are the perfect hunting ground for some.

Obviously general online safety is important for everyone but some are more vulnerable than others.

I wouldn't have bought child a tablet if it hadn't been for lockdown. It wasn't even with the excuse of remote lessons, purely a time filler. Kindle fire with the Amazon kids thing on It. She watches lots of stuff about Barbie, but even that isn't something I'd like her to be watching - utter shite. It feels time to get a handle on it all again - no excuses, she can be out at her mates now.