The Thirty-Fourth Republic - Time to recharge our batteries and make the best of our festive break

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You are most welcome to this school staff support thread to get us through stressful times. It is meant for school staff only – a sort of room of requirement. Baiters, haters, goaders, and bashers can jog on somewhere else.

If you are NOT staff and just have a general education query please start your own thread.

You can play here if you are a member of one the following groups-

-ABBA - anti bashers and baiting association
-SWAB - school workers against bashers
-SWOT - school workers opposing teacherbashers
-STARS - schoolworkers together against ranting + slurs

Do not give the staffroom password just in case it attracts the wrong sort

Other requirements for staff room entry include the ability to find the staff room, the ability to find a clean mug in the staff room, knowledge of the photocopier codes, and the ability to sniff out where the booze is stashed - Thirsty Tuesdays, Fizz Fridays now in operation.

If you come with a stick to goad us then that is not allowed in the staffroom and you will receive a detention

www.nhs.uk/service-search/find-a-psychological-therapies-service/

I had a proper mh crash Friday night. My anxiety (I do take meds) just went a bit crazy once the focus of getting to the end was gone, couldn't sleep and then just felt so low yesterday.

Hopefully starting to recover now, but still absolutely no guidance on what's happening on the 4th from school and I feel like if that goes on past Boxing Day I'm going to be in a bad place.

At the moment I'm trying to focus on a good clean, repotting my spider plants (rescued from the classroom before lockdown 1), and I might start on the Xmas cake!

for all of you, this thread has honestly kept me going this term.

I don't like getting that emotional and cross noel. I really did work in a psych hospital when I was young and have to take care of girls who would tell you the most horrific stories of what they'd been through and have flashbacks. One newly admitted girl I was left to do 12 hour shifts with on my own bar lunchbreaks - she couldn't be put on our ward because it was upstairs and she had a back injury from, I kid you not, throwing herself off of the roof of the last children's home/facility her local authority had put her in so I was on my own with her in a room on the acute block. She would have flashbacks and threaten to self harm at which point I'm meant to press the emergency button and have the super keen (therefore super worrying) staff come to respond for safe patient restraint. I could never bear/bare to press the button because I knew the flashback was about being held down and rough brutal experiences and some twisted part of her would welcome re enacting that in reality rather than just in the flashback playing in her head. I used to sit on her bed and pin her hands down and say, "My grandma went shopping and she bought....."

I spent a week with her on her admittance to the hospital without anyone coming to do an evaluation or anything and just me and her and my grandma went shopping. I'd come in the next day and see if we could still remember a-z of the day before.

It's dramatic and whatever of me but people bleating on about their hearts breaking for the 'the vulnerable' kids and how much they need to be in school makes me sick and cross.

Sorry if this was too much to share - didn't realise it had all been triggered again till I started typing. I've never forgotten that girl because I got the whole of her story because I was left on my own with her and no one did any evaluation whilst she was stuck on another ward due to needing to be on the ground floor. I got the whole journey from it 'just' being her dad, to then her step brother to then groups of men being brought round etc etc. I was only about 20 myself.

@TheHoneyBadger

I don't like getting that emotional and cross noel. I really did work in a psych hospital when I was young and have to take care of girls who would tell you the most horrific stories of what they'd been through and have flashbacks. One newly admitted girl I was left to do 12 hour shifts with on my own bar lunchbreaks - she couldn't be put on our ward because it was upstairs and she had a back injury from, I kid you not, throwing herself off of the roof of the last children's home/facility her local authority had put her in so I was on my own with her in a room on the acute block. She would have flashbacks and threaten to self harm at which point I'm meant to press the emergency button and have the super keen (therefore super worrying) staff come to respond for safe patient restraint. I could never bear/bare to press the button because I knew the flashback was about being held down and rough brutal experiences and some twisted part of her would welcome re enacting that in reality rather than just in the flashback playing in her head. I used to sit on her bed and pin her hands down and say, "My grandma went shopping and she bought....."

I spent a week with her on her admittance to the hospital without anyone coming to do an evaluation or anything and just me and her and my grandma went shopping. I'd come in the next day and see if we could still remember a-z of the day before.

It's dramatic and whatever of me but people bleating on about their hearts breaking for the 'the vulnerable' kids and how much they need to be in school makes me sick and cross.

Sorry if this was too much to share - didn't realise it had all been triggered again till I started typing. I've never forgotten that girl because I got the whole of her story because I was left on my own with her and no one did any evaluation whilst she was stuck on another ward due to needing to be on the ground floor. I got the whole journey from it 'just' being her dad, to then her step brother to then groups of men being brought round etc etc. I was only about 20 myself.

I understand how things stick with you.

I have always taught SEN and specialised a long time ago in SEMH.

I have a few memories of working with deeply deeply traumatised children that will stay with me forever.

Most of the ones I'm thinking of include serious safeguarding issues of the most horrendous kind, so I won't detail them, but I understand how these things will stay with you forever.

I also have serious MH problems, including ptsd and some other things and have constant MH care (weekly). Its one of the reason why I do what I do, but sometimes I'm just very very broken

I think some people, especially the people who have a go at us when we say schools need to stay open / mention vulnerable young people ... I don't think they realise how serious and deeply deeply traumatic things can get.

Thank you for the new thread! These threads really are a saviour!

Sympathies those now in tier 4 or whose Christmas plans have had to change

Doing ok here. Went for a run this morning- the first in two weeks which felt great. Managed to go and buy the final Christmas present I needed from the local garden centre -DS is happy as he came and found a small elf with his name on

Not even thought about tweaking planning for online yet - think I need a few days just to recover! Rest of today will be finishing house tidying/cleaning so that I can just chill.

Planning to get up early tomorrow and go for the fresh veg and any last minute bits for Christmas.

That's horrific, Honey. People have no idea. I'm as sorry for you going through that as that poor girl.

I think I've said it a fair few times on here, but I never truly realised how selfish people were until this year.

"Blah, blah, vulnerable kids mean schools should be fully open..." Fuck off. You never cared about abused kids being abused, or kids with health or additional educational needs not getting a proper education before, did you? "

" Blah, blah, my child's mental health..." Oh, but you don't care about the mental health of kids and adults who are absolutely drained with the stress of YOU breaking the rules and having sleepovers and meet ups and spreading this thing because "mental health"...

Honestly. People are vile.

I absolutely agree with that Ophelia.

Honey your experience is definitely important to hear.
I’m afraid I chickened out and stepped down from a previous role as a Head of Learning in a school in Tower Hamlets because I just struggled to much with the harrowing issues involved.

honey.

We have MLD, SEMH and ASD. Most of our pupils have two of those and some have all three.

Sorry-that was equivalent of Head of Year but with a ‘jazzed up name’ back then.

@KnowingMeKnowingYule You must do whatever you need to do to get through this. If that means being signed off, then so be it.

@TheHoneyBadger No words. It’s no wonder that girl’s experience has stayed with you.

More for you Ophelia.

@NeurotreeWenceslas

I absolutely agree with that Ophelia.

I think people are very quick, on MH, where it's largely if not entirely anonymous, to throw their opinions out there and belittle and squash down anyone elses.

I don't think the vast majority of people would know how serious issues can be, but for those of us who DO know, and do work with these "vulnerable" children (be that those with SEN, those on FSM, those who are abused, fled from warzones... I don't need to carry on - I'm sure we will all have our own experiences)..... We know that when we say children need to be in school, and we say that because we know how important it is that we can keep an eye on them, be there for them, help them any way we can ... We know how bloody crucial it is.

Peoples attitudes alarm me, on the main covid threads.... I don't think many people have any ability to see the bigger picture, and I think that people are really all too ready to do people down without knowing a back story.

It depresses me, which is why I'm glad to have been introduced to this board.

Frl hugs 🤗 too. I find plant therapy very effective.

I've been experimenting with some cuttings recently. I love that.

honey that's an awful story, my heart breaks for that poor, poor girl, and you having to relive it with her.

People are terrible hypocrites in general. The vast majority of people are only interested in problems once they affect them.

@NeurotreeWenceslas

We have MLD, SEMH and ASD. Most of our pupils have two of those and some have all three.

I work in an SLD / PMLD / ASD school now. I LOVE it. Love love love love.

I used to work in MLD / SLD / ASD / SEMH setting before.

And for good measure I have severe ADHD and SEMH issues myself 🤦

Positive case in my tutor group.

When i read Riga's link for the kie with the rave in the toilets, the mum was so not telling the kid off. but also how could they not have noticed him taking/buying/transporting enough twirls/lucozade etc for a whole year group. And his music equipment...
,Salty thats awful for the hairdressers and that hcp!
When i went for mot the guy wasnt wearing a mask in the office, had oily hands. Then to collect again no mask but 2 of them and then another customer behind me (maybe was wearing one). its over a week ago so hopefully ive missed it.

I dont really believe about the more contagious strain. But do think maybe it's different enough that people are getting twice so spreading quicker. with london transport it would move quicker.

Ophelia it's so hard.

I had a falling out with a beardy dude I know who was spouting about paying everyone a universal income and kids being taught at home. I tried to challenge it. Lovely theory, reality is a pile of bollocks. But apparently I didn't understand.

To me, on his massive bit of land near Edinburgh, which he's trying to do up and run sustainably while occasionally doing circus stuff, he was the one who had no fucking clue.

He removed me from his friends list I think. Though I'm wondering if i did. Can't remember.

@MsAwesomeReindeer

honey that's an awful story, my heart breaks for that poor, poor girl, and you having to relive it with her.

People are terrible hypocrites in general. The vast majority of people are only interested in problems once they affect them.

That's the thing.

I got very upset initially in this pandemic as I have a few serious chronic health problems. One of which meaning if I were to catch a stomach bug at work or from my kids I would end up in hospital and have done many a time. And if I happens again I would likely need major surgery to remove my bowel

My husband and I kinda felt like suddenly everyone has walked into how we always feel - mitigating health risks and living with them. The same "friend* who was happy to bring her kid to my house with a stomach bug (knowing the above ) went absolutely mental at me for sending my kids to school during a pandemic and literally called me a child murderer... Hmmmmmm ok well now stuff could affect you... Now you care... Not when it could only affect me though... I was very upset

@NeurotreeWenceslas

Ophelia it's so hard.

I had a falling out with a beardy dude I know who was spouting about paying everyone a universal income and kids being taught at home. I tried to challenge it. Lovely theory, reality is a pile of bollocks. But apparently I didn't understand.

To me, on his massive bit of land near Edinburgh, which he's trying to do up and run sustainably while occasionally doing circus stuff, he was the one who had no fucking clue.

He removed me from his friends list I think. Though I'm wondering if i did. Can't remember.

Oh he sounds amazing and definately having a good understanding of the real world ! Better off without him I feel!

@NeurotreeWenceslas

More for you Ophelia.

& for you! My Christmas cake decorating went successfully!

Thanks everyone. Clearly my suffering was literally less than nothing compared to the girls I took care of but it was really shit that they left me with her for 12 hour shifts taking all of her offloading and with her getting inappropriately attached to me for a week. I can remember going over to the ward every lunch and saying to the nurse in charge I think this is a bad idea, she's getting too attached, she's telling me everything, I'm only bank staff and haven't had proper training and should she be getting this attached to me and telling me all this when I won't be involved in her long term care etc and just being ignored.

It's never left me. It seemed like people were either emotional wrecks likely needing time off for stress and their own mental health issues regularly or were really hardened and cold and shut off from the patients/clients. I decided I didn't want to be either of those. It was a tough job anyway but feeling totally solely responsible for the well being of that girl broke me.

I'm pouring a bath with lots of magnesium in it and a large glass of wine. Freaky how much stress and discomfort can be re-thrown at you from remembering someone else's trauma.

Another admission that I feel the need to share is that I taught a boy a couple of years ago who was always late to school, never had equipment and was beyond peculiar in terms of how he interacted etc. I found out that the reason he had a TA wasn't because of SEN but because he had already sexually abused children younger than him in the home and in his last school so couldn't be left alone unsupervised during movement times etc. He was still living in the same home and from everything we know likely to have been sexually abused himself to be hypersexualised and abusing others at primary age.

People just don't get what, 'comprehensive' means. I remember an adorable but soft friend of mine once being genuinely ashamed of the fact that she didn't like ONE of the kids she had to teach that year and having to give her a talk on how every rapist, wife beater, pedophile, axe murderer etc went to school and how now even kids who are way beyond the reach of education (and some who are already too damaged to be ok to be mixing freely in society) are in our classes.

I think I, and presumably, we make light of it most of the time and the really scary or disturbing cases are spread out and we deal with it at the time and move on and fortunately it's not every year or every day.
Though we did have one student last year who was stuck between services and couldn't cope at all in school and whose behaviour was a nightmare to even pretend to deal with in mainstream but was in care so couldn't be expelled and everything was up in the air waiting on court cases and legal stuff.

Point being people who tell us we should try and work in, 'the real world' can ftfo. Sorry for the venting - just all flashed up. Will have a nice bath and stick it back in the box in the attic

@keepdistance I know! Also where did he have the money and opportunity to buy a load of lucozades and twirls without his parents knowing? There are parents who just abdicate all responsibility when they turn 11 and can walk themselves to school I think. It's bizarre to me and I'm far from the protective helicopter end of the parenting spectrum.