The Nineteenth Republic - DfE guidance issued August Bank Holiday Weekend!

[StaffAssociationRepresentative]

You are most welcome to this school staff support thread to get us through stressful times. It is meant for school staff only – a sort of room of requirement. Baiters, haters, goaders and bashers can jog on somewhere else.

If you are NOT staff and just have a general education query please start your own thread.

You can play here if you are a member of one the following groups-

-ABBA - anti bashers and baiting association
-SWAB - school workers against bashers
-SWOT - school workers opposing teacherbashers
-STARS - schoolworkers together against ranting + slurs

Do not give ‘The Every twat for Themselves mob’ the staffroom password as a number of them are operating in an alternative reality.

No DfE muppets allowed

Other requirements for staff room entry include the ability to find the staff room, the ability to find a clean mug in the staff room, knowledge of the photocopier codes, and the ability to sniff out where the toffee vodka is hidden.

If you are fed up with cakes and biscuits there is now a cheeseboard on offer

If you come with a stick to goad us then that is not allowed in the staffroom. Close the door quietly on your way out

@TheHoneyBadger

It’s going to be like lord of the flies over there

I've got a special offer on sticks. I'll even sharpen them at both ends if you like but that'll cost extra.

I am lucky in many respects as I teach sixth form in a girls' independent. They will sit there and try to learn. However, before March 20th I was having problems getting them to learn anything as they were so anxious about the situation generally. We have also been told that all the windows will have to be open all the time, which will be interesting with teenage girls who prefer it at 30 Deg. They're going to be blue! We are doing masks in all communal areas and must wear them (students too) if we need to circulate in the lesson (for practicals etc).

I will have to use the train and tube to get there. I could walk the tube parts but it's a good 45 mins and I don't have 90 mins slack in my day.

Plus my dad is recovering (very slowly) from major surgery. Can I still visit him on days off if I keep my distance? Presumably I should wear a mask throughout though, which is going to be interesting as he's quite deaf. I do want to carry on going if I can as the one hour daily visiting, only one person, is a real bind on my mum.

Well done for the new thread-just been catching up.

I have been wondering what the MN schooling complaints will be about from Tuesday? They can’t bash us for being workshy and sunbathing in the garden any more.

It’ll be for making little Alfie sad because they wouldn’t get close to him to look at his hurt knee, wouldn’t let him sit next to his mate, wouldn’t let him play with his brother in a different class, had to put gloves on before doing up his shoelaces and haven’t changed his reading book recently even though it’s quite clear he is a genius and needs to be on the next level.

Argh

@RafaIsTheKingOfClay

I had a "discussion" with Marsha on a thread about MH about people not giving a toss about it, her response was essentially that parents have a right to only be concerned about what affects them.

A pretty shitty response.

Besides we have the yr 11 and yr 13 mh threads to look forward to.

Thanks Hamlet. Hope it’s a long stick.

I keep meaning to research brain breaks that can be done sitting still. Seem to remember something about getting them to trace figures of 8 in the air with their index fingers and then doing them in opposite directions...

Appuskidu

I suspect it will be for pushing the yr 11s and 13s to hard.

Or my child isn't allowed to wear his vampire teeth/monster face mask

Or is being forced to wear a mask.

Or not making sure the bubbles stay separate.

@Appuskidu
I have been wondering what the MN schooling complaints will be about from Tuesday?

Timmy was making so much progress at home; I just don't understand why the teachers are doing a worse job than I did. We've been reading Harry Potter but now he's on blue band. We taught him long multiplication but now the teacher says he doesn't know his times tables. How can they be so crap at their jobs?

I can provide sticks in a variety of bespoke lengths.
One of my nuttier characters two years ago told me that his mam had banned him from giving me the end of year gift he wanted to, as he handed over a bottle of gin. Enquires turned up that he'd actually whittled me a stick. My TA and I both thought that was lovely 😂

Back to marking, wearing gloves would protect us but would they still need quarantining before they went back to kids? Then again they’ve still got to be given out somehow. It’s all mental

I have been wondering what the MN schooling complaints will be about from Tuesday?

WHY DIDN’T SCHOOL TELL ME BUSES WOULD BE AN ISSUE

KID ASKED FOR HELP AND TEACHER REFUSED TO COME OVER

KID BORED WITH SITTING IN ROWS

KID SMELLY FROM BEING IN PE KIT ALL DAY

KID COLD DUE TO OPEN WINDOW

KID NOT ALLOWED TO TOILET/FILL UP WATER BOTTLE

KID HAS TO ISOLATE SWEARS DOWN DID NOT COUGH

WHY NO SOCIAL DISTANCING. TV PROMISED SOCIAL DISTANCING

TEACHER TOO CLOSE TO KID

TEACHER TOO FAR AWAY FROM KID

KID DOESN’T LIKE BUBBLE

WHY BOOK NOT MARKED

@MrsHamlet

I can provide sticks in a variety of bespoke lengths. One of my nuttier characters two years ago told me that his mam had banned him from giving me the end of year gift he wanted to, as he handed over a bottle of gin. Enquires turned up that he'd actually whittled me a stick. My TA and I both thought that was lovely 😂

That is lovely!

Are you secondary? I never get gifts

Bob's mum will be back to complaining that we're hassling her to get him into school every day and preferably on time.

Why has it taken 144 hours for little Johnny to get his maths homework back?

Why does my child have to sit in the front row so will be a contact if the teacher goes off sick?

Child was told off for walking to his designated playground. (playground is on the other side of school and child shouldn't have been anywhere near there.

Yes - 11-18, although I only teach year 10 upwards.
This year, one of my year 11 gave me a model trebuchet! Gin and shoes feature highly. Personal highlights were a Knock off pot noodle from a lad who was shocked that I'd never had one, and some foundation in a shade of burnt orange normally reserved for 14 year olds. I don't wear make up. I still have both - can't bear to give them away even though the lads concerned are now mid twenties.

@TheHoneyBadger

The theory is supposed to be that, within a bubble, there doesn't need to be the same worries about sharing equipment. In primary, as we are part of the bubble, that means that we can exchange books between student and teacher with no quarantining. In secondary, because teachers aren't part of the bubble, they should be quarantined after teacher contact but can be handed out by students. It's also how they can say that, in primary, there's little to no expectation of us remaining 2m away from the children.

However, in practice, it'll just be whatever works for the school. Some schools are insisting on all pieces being marked daily, others have eliminated all marking other than assessments.

Why does my child have to sit in the front row so will be a contact if the teacher goes off sick?

Yep-I’m surprised this hasn’t occurred to some people!

One of my LSAs is French. Funnily enough she's been in France with her family (one child is in my phase too). They are still in quarantine for the first week back . So that's nice. Wish I was in France.

We definitely have one quarantining member of staff.

Uhoh20 or whatever has just said I'm behaving as if I'm being sent to the gas chambers in Auschwitz on the SD thread. There's a new low.

Report!

noble

You missed

MY CHILD IS IN A ROOM WITH NO WINDOWS

And

THE WINDOWS ARE ALWAYS OPEN AND MY CHILD IS COLD!

@Piggywaspushed

noble

You missed

MY CHILD IS IN A ROOM WITH NO WINDOWS

OR the teacher is refusing to open the windows.

@TheHoneyBadger

Back to marking, wearing gloves would protect us but would they still need quarantining before they went back to kids? Then again they’ve still got to be given out somehow. It’s all mental

Only if you remember not to touch your face with the gloves on (the gloves may help as a visual reminder). Should also wash hands on removing the gloves. If you don't touch your face and wash your hands after marking the gloves don't offer any additional protection, besides reminding you to do those 2 things.