I need some help understanding the behaviour of a boy in my class, and how to help him.
Last year he started fixating on a new girl in his class. He would always want to play with her, always sit next to her, and he would tell her he loved her, and try to kiss her. She did not like his attention, and kept trying to move away. He would follow her at every break time. In the beginning she was ok to play with him, but then it got a bit much for her and she got fed up. She told him to stop annoying her, and she told him he was not allowed to kiss her, but he did not listen.
We told him he had to respect her boundaries and give her space. He argued saying he was just being friendly, and would not listen to adults telling him that it was not friendly when the girl did not want the attention, and that the behaviour was not appropriate for school. We had several action plans for him to not follow her around asking her to play, and nothing really worked. She moved away due to family circumstances. His behaviour returned to normal and he played like usual with the boys in his class. In spring a new girl joined the class, and the behaviour started up again, but to a lesser degree. The girl ignored him, and generally did not respond to him at all. She turned her back at him and just got on with playing with the other girls. She moved at the end of the school year.
Now, I am overseas and school is back. One week in, and he has two new obsessions in the year above. In the beginning they responded favourably to him, he was just a boy trying to make friends, and they showed him kindness and attention. It soon escalated. At meal times he is seeking them out and sits opposite and just stares at them. He is following them around every play time. He is blowing kisses constantly, waving at them joining them in conversations. He wears them out by repeatedly saying "you are so pretty", or "will you marry me". He has kissed one of them on the lips, and she was very upset because he had threatened to do it, and she had said no dont do it, but he disrespected this. He has been told to respect their boundaries, been told it is not ok to behave this way, he has been told to stop blowing kisses and all the other things he is doing, because they dont like it. They have told him this himself, and teachers have told him. He just smiles and says "but they should like it because I am just being friendly". I have tried turning the tables and ask how he would feel if somebody did this to him, he replied that he would like it a lot.
During a chat we had he asked what he could do if not following them around asking to play, and I said it was ok for him to just smile and say "hello" to them. After we had finished talking he instantly walked over to them and said "hello" repeatedly while waving his hand. When they walked off, he followed, and he kept saying "hello". Well, I did tell him he could say hello....
How can we best deal with this? I feel completely at loss as I have not encountered anything like this before. Our senco has referred him for evaluation, but that can take a while, so what strategies can we use meanwhile?
He seems to have low emotional intelligence, low self-regulation, he seems to lack social skills and understanding of social codes and norms, and have very little empathy. Any ideas of resources that could help teach him the social competences he seems to need?