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The staffroom

Whether you're a permanent teacher, supply teacher or student teacher, you'll find others in the same situation on our Staffroom forum.

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Original poster

Full time teacher with small children...need positive stories please!

45 replies

littlebid · 14/06/2019 19:50

I’ve gone back to full time teaching after mat leave #2, eldest is 4, youngest about to turn 1. It’s a supportive department, non core subject, shared planning...workload has never been an issue. I’ve been back just over a term and going part time is not an option for lots of reasons. And generally, I love my job. I’m a really annoying super job-positive teacher.

But I’m looking for - and not finding - another voice, a role model, just someone else in the same boat. Literally every other teaching mum with kids under 11 seems to be part time. Is anyone else doing this? And can share positive stories about it being possible?

I’m full of end-of-breastfeeding hormones, sleep deprived from a non-sleeping baby and at the end of a very intense exam season. Please tell me it’s going to be ok!

(And please don’t tell me to go part time: I really just need encouragement, as ostrichy as that sounds)

OP posts:

careerchange456 · 14/06/2019 19:54

I work full time with a 2 and 4 year old! Life is busy (but it would be whatever hours I worked!!) but we manage fine. I think the right school is key. I'm primary so there's very little in terms of sharing planning workload etc but things that make the difference in my school are the head being a parent of youngish children herself and not making ridiculous demands for unnecessary things. My DH also works away Mon-Fri so have to manage everything with no other family support as well. Like I said, busy but it's fine!

Original poster

littlebid · 14/06/2019 19:56

Oh that’s good to hear! My husband is away a lot too, and those days are relentless. I’m definitely in the right school and agree that even if I were part time, it would be manic. And with a secondary timetable, I’d have to go down to at least 0.6 to get a full day off. Thank you for sharing, it’s really good to hear.

OP posts:

Teachermaths · 14/06/2019 19:58

I Work ft, only got one at the moment but pregnant with my second.

Hang on in there. If you're school is good and not workload heavy, then you're on to a winner.

SMuldoon · 14/06/2019 20:01

I'm full time SLT in secondary and have a 1 year old. DP is a full time teacher too. Life is tiring but awesome!

Poppysead1663 · 14/06/2019 20:02

I work full time as a teacher and my DC is nearly 2. It is very busy but I manage to get most of my work done in school hours, which I don't think would be the case if I went part time as I would have fewer free periods.

We have more disposable income and that makes finances much easier and therefore life a bit less stressful. I also think the pension aspect is important too.

There is no right answer. Full or part time both have their pros and cons and Mum guilt is a real thing but I think this works best for our family.

It is hard work but I enjoy it and look forward to the holidays!

Hope you feel better about it all soon. Just think, summer holidays are on their way!

SMuldoon · 14/06/2019 20:02

Should have added... I went part time but then back up to full time- prefer it!

GorkyMcPorky · 14/06/2019 20:04

I do it. I echo what @SMuldoon says about preferring full time. You become sort of invisible otherwise.

ballsdeep · 14/06/2019 20:05

I work ft as a primary teacher, 2 ch and pregnant.
I can't go part time either and although work does get me down sometimes I stay positive by thinking of all the holidays and of the things we can do together. We make our weekends as special as we can and just make time for each other.

careerchange456 · 14/06/2019 20:07

I agree. I went part time after DC1, largely because I felt it was expected. I much prefer full time, especially as I want to take on leadership roles.

I think part time is tonight. You're trying to be the best teacher whilst also being the best SAHM and it's just not possible. In primary I'd also have to job share which I'd hate. I'd also be a nightmare the job share with!!

Go with it if it works for your family!

careerchange456 · 14/06/2019 20:08

*part time is tough!!

ballsdeep · 14/06/2019 20:10

Forgot to add I went pt before and it made a huge impact on finances. I was worried sick and didn't enjoy it

phlebasconsidered · 14/06/2019 20:10

I went to 0.8 with 2 young kids. I'm primary so I manage by doing all the core subjects and just having Monday and Friday pm off. This significantly reduced my childcare and gave me a bit of sanity while retaining control of the class fully. I imagined i'd go back to ft when they were at secondary school but to be honest the kids need me more now. I enjoy having two afternoons to be there when they get home. My school manage it so my ppa is at home so it's not that much of a pay thing. The time off keeps me mentally healthy though, and it means I can do the odd pick up instead of a bus ride home for my teen which makes all the difference in terms of talk and relationship. It's the nearest to teaching full time I can do right now. It's hard whatever you do: find what works for you.

AltCarbon · 14/06/2019 20:15

I am passionate about teaching and went back FT when my oldest was 9 months, and then again when my youngest was 11 months (17 month age gap). I think going back made me a better parent as although very busy term time, the holidays are quality family time and we protect it fiercely. By going back I was also able to progress my career and now as the oldest is about to start school I am an Assistant Principal at a growing through school with a T&L role I love. I believe that in my case if I’d not gone all on in on returning I would have lost a huge part of myself and would have fallen behind. I know it can be controversial but I am ambitious and my love my for children has not stopped that being true.

Original poster

littlebid · 14/06/2019 20:24

Thank you all so much. I know it is right for us, and for me. And my job is a part of my identity which really matters to me. It’s just complicated isn’t it, and I suppose not helped by sleep deprivation and plummeting happy hormones.

Do any of you manage any sort of “me time” / self care? I feel selfish, but I sort of resent sometimes being bottom of the pile. The closest I get most days is the odd occasion when I’m able to shower without someone bursting in to go for a poo 😂

OP posts:

AltCarbon · 14/06/2019 20:30

I took an hour a week in the evening for Pilates, I think from around when DS was 7 weeks. It became a running joke that I spent the whole session yawning but just a little time made such a huge difference to my mental health.

LanguageAsAFlower · 14/06/2019 21:05

I'm back ft, running a core department with other whole school stuff AND a baby (toddler) that doesn't sleep. It's definitely possible. Sometimes between the yawns I feel quite proud.

LanguageAsAFlower · 14/06/2019 21:08

I keep booking myself on CPD the other side of the country for "me" time. 3 nights away so far! Bliss! Also I'm having a tooth out with sedation on Monday. I'm guessing that's going to be enforced sleepy me time!

Original poster

littlebid · 14/06/2019 21:27

Ha ha, loving the idea of general anaesthetic right now. Can you request it recreationally do you think? I’m teaching PHSE next year, to fill a timetable gap, and I’m sure there’s a unit on drugs...it’s practically CPD.

OP posts:

yoursworried · 14/06/2019 21:57

Me! I'm HoD of a non core subject in a private secondary school. I went back full time when my kids were 3&5.
It's all totally fine, DH does 50% of the childcare, we batch cook a lot and we have lovely weekends and holidays.

yoursworried · 14/06/2019 22:00

I was also part time before this; I hated it. I was always doing extra time for parents evenings, shows etc and they managed to cram pretty much the whole A level into my part time timetable. It was a total stitch up and I'm much happier full time enjoying a half decent salary for almost the same effort.

likeafishneedsabike · 14/06/2019 22:15

At least if you’re full time you’re not getting ripped off as a part timer (deadlines on your days ‘off’, ditto parents evenings and open evenings etc). Plus a full time salary and pension contribution. It makes sense really if you’re in a good school.

parrotonmyshoulder · 15/06/2019 07:56

Like most PP, I found that full time was better than part time. Very good and reliable childcare works for me. I had a nanny to start with - her DD was the same age as mine so she took them both to school and then had DS in the day time. Now we have a great childminder who has them before and after school.
The house tends to look a complete state, and sometimes book bags and PE kits get forgotten. I’m probably considered a crap parent by DC’s school. Never make it to daytime events and have to neglect their PTA in order to support my own school.

But it works for us. Like OP said, teaching is a big part of my identity and I want to do it properly. My DC have me throughout holidays (mostly) and have the benefit of a healthy mother who is fulfilled at work.

parrotonmyshoulder · 15/06/2019 07:57

I have also benefitted from CPD as far away as I can get. Best night’s sleep ever. I did a week long course in September!

Happinessbegins · 15/06/2019 08:02

I did it in the early days when the dc were young but I found it more difficult as they got older for various reasons (childcare logistics mostly) but if you have a supportive partner and family who help out it’s doable.

Being part-time is rubbish but it depends where in your career you are.

PotteringAlong · 15/06/2019 08:05

I’m a full time teacher. Mine are 7, 4 and 2.

I’m knackered. I don’t know if it’s the job or the kids

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