Vicious email from Headtacher

[uselessteacher]

Namechanged for this. Have tried to give minimal details so as not to out myself.

My headteacher sent me an email to say that she isn't prepared to pay for a year's postgraduate course that she had previously agreed to pay for. She also said that she didn't feel I had the knowledge or skills for the course, which until now, she has been very happy to send me on. She has been saying for a very long time that the role which this course would have led to pretty much had my name on it, and that she was lining me up to take over when the current post holder retires in a couple of years' time. I know that she can't guarantee this, but that's another story. The course was due to start this week and my application was complete with the exception of the headteacher's declaration, which she had said previously would be no problem at all, and that I should 'big myself up' on the application form and she would help me to do this if I needed any support.

Needless to say I was very surprised to hear that she had gone back on everything that she had said previously. I really didn't see it coming at all and was very disappointed that I would no longer be able to start the course this week. I have now withdrawn my application.

But she didn't stop there. She continued her one and a half sides of A4 and criticised my classroom teaching ability, which she has done numerous times before. And said that 'a good deal of work needs to go into supporting you to develop further your understanding of x, y and z.' Her comments in her email just twist the knife even further and make me feel like I am a desperately failing classroom practitioner. I have taught for nearly twenty years and have never had such negative feedback in lesson observations, yet I don't feel that I have suddenly become a far worse teacher. My confidence has hit rock bottom. I feel sick at the thought of replying to her email (so I haven't) and I feel panicky about going back into school. I don't want to call in sick as I can't face having to talk to her; I'd rather just go in and keep my head down and get on with my job. Don't really know why I'm posting, just totally deflated, hurt, upset and feeling like I want out of this school, but knowing how difficult that is going to be when I'm relying on a reference from a head who thinks I have behaviour management issues. And, just to top it all off, I have a peer observation this week which has filled me with dread all weekend.

OP, this sounds horrific and your HT is the one who is acting like a sulky child and displaying a comprehensive lack of professionalism. I agree with others that you should get in touch with your union rep, but also with ACAS. In your position I would be raising a formal grievance. Of you do resign, I'd back it up with an unfair dismissal claim, too.

Also, your husband seems particularly unsupportive! How is it that you're getting more back-up from interweb strangers than him?!

Is your husband usually an unsupportive twat?

Seriously OP, take professional real life advice. Ultimately you need to leave the toxic environment (by which I mean school, you make your own mind up on your DH!) and you need to strategically plan your exit which will include your reference.

I agree with others. Get union advice - they might help and it's worth a try. Do not commit to this course even in a years time. There are plenty of schools desperate for sencos - ours agreed to appoint someone who then started the course straight away.
Life is too short for such a toxic environment.
Do not apologise.

There really is only one solution to this - find another job. I had a similar situation with a head when i was second in command in a small school although she was wise enough never to put anything in writing. She withdrew support for a cours3 she had promised to fund, made remarks about "other people having a difficult time too" 3 weeks after I'd had a late miscarriage and six months after my mum had committed suicide (when I'd returned to work on the next working way to run the School concert), tried to refer me to occupational health for time taken off due to my miscarriage, old.me.she wanted to cut my pay (but not hours!), changed my agreed working pattern to ensure that the short days I had specifically requested at interview due to childcare issues were withdrawn and I was forced to take all of my non working hours as a block, reduced my non contact time to less than 10% despite a slt role etc... etc... what I'm saying is once this sort of thing starts it will usually escalate. You have had the signs and no union backing)although my union just told me to get the heck out!)... protect yourself

It won’t be worth it to stay to get the course done. Honestly you will leave teaching before it gets completed if you try to stay put. Bullies won’t reflect and apologise, they just keep bullying.

Personally I would leave even if it meant supply for a few months, it would be worth it for your mental health. I think constructive dismissal (whilst very hard to prove) is something worth getting legal advice over.

How are you doing today @uselessteacher ?

Just noticed your username and think you should change it to @greatteachershitboss

x

I'd quit tomorrow if I thought I would get a SENCO post before I've got the award, but I don't think it's very likely, so I really need to stay put in order to keep plodding on

You absolutely don’t need to stay and keep plodding on. It will be massively detrimental to your mental health if you stay working for a toxic head like that.

The NASENCo is a nightmare course-you will never finish it working for her.

@Pamplem00se so sorry to hear all that. Are you in a better school now?

I'm so sorry to hear what you went through, Pamplem00se. That is absolutely dreadful, especially at an already challenging time for you.

I sent an email to the head on Tuesday night. Not an apology, but an acknowledgement of her offer to fund the course immediately and to tell her that it is now too late to start it as the deadline has passed. I said I would start next May. In the meantime I will be exploring every avenue to find a way out. I'm looking for a bit of a niche role so I'm not expecting it to happen straight away.

I felt worse last night than I have all week. I couldn't face the inevitable dreams of family life on top of everything else so I shut myself away upstairs pretty much as soon as I got in from work. My DH asked why I'm not calling in sick, but I know that'll make it all worse, and I'd continually worry about having to go back. I'm just glad that I'm part time and we're so close to half term now.

ThatCurlyGirl Your comment did make me smile.

Sorry, dramas of family life. Dreams I could cope with quite happily!

It sounds as though she has some sort of an agenda and is a bully, frankly. I would get out and do tutor/supply work while you look for somewhere else.
I've worked in a school with a similar head, you need to get out before it damages your health. So angry on your behalf!

Uselessteacher, resignation date is tomorrow. Do it. I feel bad for typing this but you are a marked woman. Your stupid vindictive Head now has you in her sights and nothing you do will be good enough. If you shit gold bars for her, she'd be moaning about something.

As someone else has said, at UPS1 you are expensive. She cannot justify the expense of having you so is using capability as her way of "managing you out". Since it was introduced by that odious Gove, it has happened so many times to experienced and dedicated teachers who are all expensive because you can get a fresh-faced NQT for around half the price who will do everything idiotic Heads want.

Spend the next half term brushing up your CV, applying for anything you fancy and registering with agencies if you want some supply work. There will be other (better) jobs out there. I work p/t in a great secondary place and last year, on the very last day of the summer term was interviewed and appointed for a more p/t role that fits around it in the local primary. Chin up - she doesn't deserve someone of your calibre.

Bloody hell @uselessteacher.
Resignation date is tomorrow and you really should be getting out of there.
Yes you are looking for something that is going to be hard to find but I think you're being incredibly naive if you think things will improve with this head. If I were you I'd be handing my notice in and doing supply or anything else I could until I found another suitable role. Learning mentor or such like may be good in the meantime even if a big step down in pay.
If you stay she will ground you down. Likely get you on capability and force you out anyway. She sounds horrific

Op how are things?