Primary school PRU

[DesperateMother2018]

Posting here hoping I will get traffic and “chat” seems too frivolous.

Have had to name change as details may be too identifying.

My DS is in Year 3 at our local primary. He is adopted. Since the SATs last term, his emotional behaviour has been awful - and I feel as though we as the parents and the school are at crisis point. He is disrupting the class almost every day - throwing things, going under tables, upturning tables and chairs - and is having to spend large chunks of time out of the class.

The school have been good and are trying to get a one to one TA although not sure how quickly this can be put in place.

He is academically able - even above average in a couple of subjects. He has friends, the school is sure he is not autistic, but the friends are beginning to get scared of him - and I don’t blame them.

I have spent the last week crying almost every day because I am not sure what the trigger was (other than SATs). I am also not sure this is naughty behaviour - rather, he seems to be crying out for help. He cannot bear to fail and he cannot bear to struggle with work.

I am beginning to think that this is all heading to him being referred to a PRU. A paediatrician that I have seen doesn’t think this would be so bad as there would be experts there to help him but the thought terrifies me.

Should it terrify me? Should it upset me? I think if there was a 1:1 TA for him who was next to him all the time, I think we could break this cycle and we could help him.

Separately, I am accessing lots of therapy for him too.

So - any experience of PRUs anyone? are they all bad? Could it help him? Could he return to mainstream schooling in due course? He already feels different enough so I am worried that being sent to a PRU will make things even worse. But maybe we need to hit rock bottom before things get better?

I am struggling to cope so please be gentle in your answers.

I don't know what area you are in but Primary PRUs are few and far between these days. You are better off looking for an SEMH special school (you will need an EHCP to get into one of these). I am a teacher in one so let me know if I can help any further?

Are there any Thrive schools in the area that you could Manage Move to? Emotional 'bad' behaviour is often helped by Thrive. Look at www.thriveapproach.com - I think they've got a 'find settings' tool.

PRU isn't necessarily a bad thing, and might give your boy the ability to manage his own moods - like the 'Incredible 5 point Scale' but for his whole being. PRU isn't about punishment, its a lot more than that.

Thanks Plaws - will PM you.

He needs an EHCP, which will give him access to lots of specialist intervention. With an EHCP, he could also go to an independent mainstream school that may be able to offer him small class sizes are bespoke pastoral care.

Do you have any support at all as a family?

Not sure if this is even possible with your personal suggestions but would hone schooling for a while be an option? Would your child feel more secure with you at home all the time? Is there an attachment issue?
Apology if that is the wrong thing to say or is upsetting at all but I just thought it might be something to consider as an option.

Personal circumstances!

Thank you all for your thoughts.

This has only been an issue for 6 months - but has escalated in the last 4 weeks to the extent I don’t think the school can cope.

Our DS has been with us for 5 years. It might be attachment issues and we have also been working with Coram for some extra support and thoughts.

I am just preparing and bracing myself for another horrible week which might mean Ds is excluded for a while. Ds can’t control his emotions - but it has only got bad for 5 weeks, although had some bad times last term.

I am going to investigate getting an ECHP although not sure how to do it...

I work with lots of adopted students and most of them have attachment issues. It is not fair on them to exclude them from school - that’s just another rejection for them.

When a child with attachment disorder kicks off in class, they need to have a safe place to go to. Obviously, the needs of other children are important too. This is a process - it is not a quick fix.

Hiding under desks may suggest sensory issues, and again, he needs to be in a school here teachers can respect this.

Does he have occupational therapy?

Crafty I'm really not sure any Independent mainstream is going to take a pupil with an EHCP for SEMH?

OP, are you sure the problem is not the shift into KS2? This can often be the point at which difficulties emerge as more independence, longer attention span and more 'sitting down learning' are required.

TBH I think PRUs are to be avoided- I'm sure there are some good ones, but their transitory 'short stay' nature is unlikely to be the answer for a child with attachment issues.

There are some amazing special SEMH schools- I too have worked in one. However, I think you are unlikely to get a place in one before your current school have even implemented additional support. Your (and their) only option at the moment is to work together to unpick the problem and find strategies to try to help your DS cope better again.

Except the school I work in, 4p.

There are loads of independent schools that cater for EHCP students with SEMH.

Local authorities can’t always provide the level of care a student needs but they have a duty of care, so will pay for private schooling. It is a lot cheaper than the alternatives.

Thank you all for your comments. I do think I am dealing with a scared DS but I am not wholly convinced it is all about attachment issues.

Interesting comments above about KS2. I know he is academically able but I am so scared it is all going to be thrown away. we have been threatened with exclusion (temporary) which I think is going to set us back and not achieve anything. He isn’t being naughty so a punishment is not going to have any effect. (We do take a hard line with his behaviour and tell him it is unacceptable and have been talking about how he thinks he might be able to control his anger.)

I do think a one to one TA for HIM (rather than just an extra resource in the class) is key but it’s how I get this that I am struggling with.

We could go private but I sense no independent school would take my son on because of his behaviour record.

Gosh - could do with a drink just thinking about all of this - I can see how having a SEN child can lead to a dependence on alcohol. I just feel so alone and not sure how to go about things. So thank you everyone for your thoughts and words and kindness.

Well, I'm very surprised by that. Is it Primary?

I honestly don't think any child I've ever taught with an EHCP for SEMH (many) would ever have had their difficulties 'fixed' purely by a small class size. I would question whether they really needed an EHCP or whether a managed move to a school with learning mentor/ nurture group type provision and an inclusive attitude would actually be enough.

I've recently seen a list of where every pupil with an EHCP in my authority goes to school. Despite there being 10 primary aged pupils with EHCPs for SEMH out of school at the moment due to lack of places (which is a huge problem), no pupil (with SEN of any type) is placed in a mainstream Independent. I don't think it would cross anybody's mind to try to place severely anxious/ demand avoidant pupils who target violence at staff and peers, damage property or endanger themselves on a daily basis -which is the sort of threshold required for issue of EHCP- into Prep schools.

The above was to Crafty btw.

OP, I'd book a meeting with class teacher, SENCo/ Inclusion Lead and maybe the Head. You need to sit as a team and unpick your DS's behaviour. All behaviour is communication, and he is trying to tell you something. You all just have to work out what, and then try different adjustments until you find one that works. It may be 1:1 that's needed, or it may be something different, but you can't work that out until you work out what the problem is.

Does he have a "safe place"? Is your ds's school big enough that he has a space he can learn in on his own if needed? If he is exhibiting these behaviours it will indeed be very hard for his classmates - you can expect negativity from other parents particularly if he is disrupting/damaging.

But you are a very long way from a PRU. Encourage your school to get the 1:1 sorted (still costs them money - they may be dithering in the hope you move him??). Also worth getting on the path of an EHCP. V hard to get these days. I feel for you, I really do. You are in that group that doesn't seem to get much support. See your GP, ask the school if they can get support from an ELSA centre or similar and good luck! I really understand where you are coming from but it does have an impact on everyone else in the class. School has to act to support you ASAP.

What is his behaviour like? Does he refuse to comply with adult requests that he previously coped with?
Is he the same at home as at school?

Right, I'm a Senco and we have children like his in our school. This is what you need to do now.
Take him to your GP and ask for a referral to CAMHS, and get a letter off the school Senco detailing his behaviours. Don't be fobbed off by the GP. This child is behaving in this way because he is emotionally unsettled, possibly traumatised because of his past history. It is very very common for adopted children, particularly if they spent early years with their family. Let's not forget, these days children don't get adopted because the mum wasn't married or was too young, usually it's as a result neglect over a protracted period.
Do yo work? If not, suggest to school that he has a reduced timetable, say A coup,e of hours each day. That way, they could get some additional support and begin the process of applying for an EHCP. school has to prove that they have spent over £6000 on him before they can get an EHCP. it's a lengthy process, taking up to 20 weeks. Ask school what they are putting in place to support him, ask for a behaviour support plan, and for them to refer him to the behaviour support service in their area. He may also need an educational psychologist assessment. All these are things school should do, not you.

My DS is also adopted but we suspect his main difficulty is ADHD, and he is disruptive but not quite this bad at school. School have given him a 1:1 and saw this as a necessary precursor to an EHCP. He's also got worse recently (I think with age though school and the EP have wild theories about medication side effects) and that was when they put the 1:1 in place as a temporary measure to show he really needs it but it's more than school can afford.

PRU's are meant to be a temporary solution to manage the situation before transitioning to either mainstream or a specialist school. There's two covering my whole city for primary so I doubt this is ever used as a first option - 1:1 TA will be tried first I suspect and a multi discipline team will look at all the options. Do you have post adoption support in place, if not speak to someone ASAP as you can get extra help, and possibly get Camhs involved. You are far from alone, two friends are going through something similar with their respective children.

As to timescales, when my daughter hit rock bottom they had a ta in place in about 3 weeks for part of the day and sent her home at lunch (not ideal) and full time ta took about half a term - she was older and for different reasons.

I had a child that suddenly started behaving a bit like this. Previously good behaviour at school and academically able. Turned out it was severe glue ear and the child could not hear. Please get your child’s hearing tested. Glue ear is known as changing children behaviour.

Thanks everyone. We have had blood tests done to check everything is ok; we have had a sight test (just waiting for that to be followed up as he has some short sightedness); I am waiting for doctors to call me back re hearing test.

We do have seen GP and are getting a CAHMS referral (in a few weeks). I will speak to school about reduced time table - he can learn at home in the afternoons. I didn’t want him to feel different but he is already feeling different because he is out of the class so much. We have had an EP done (rubbish, woolly and done before latest episodes) and I am sourcing a private one.

Another day before the hell starts again and I can’t eat for another week.

I live and breathe this every day - believe me, 4p.

My 9yo has attachment disorder. Numerous FTE and eventually a permanent exclusion. Whilst I wait for our useless SENAR to write a legible and accurate EHCP he is at a primary PRU - I honestly wish he had gone there sooner. Most staff are THRIVE trained, and they get him. He has attended school for the last five weeks straight (previously 38%), he has happily done homework for the first time in 2 years. They teach him about his brain, the "flip your lid" analogy, lots of encouragement and attention (6 in a class with 2 or 3 staff). Happily let him go to a younger classroom for the day if there is a nurturing need. Obviously not all are the same but this one is right for him for now.

A good PRU should work intensively to get the child the best setting after attendance there. From the very beginning, building an excellent picture and evidence for the best EHCP application. PRU SENCOs are often much more specialised at this than MS ones. They should have close relationships with and current knowledge of the best SEMH settings locally.
It’s a holding and assessment place really. And sometimes a place that is the end of the line but that happens far more in KS4 ime.
Yes, ideally, children move directly from MS to specialist provision but often this isn’t the case and this is where a good PRU can be the way forward. The best ones will support you too.
I miss my old PRU and am thinking about re joining AP as a job has come up locally.

Hi Desperate

Fellow adoptive parent here. With the greatest respect to the teachers on this board, please get yourself off here ASAP and get yourself over to the AdoptionUK boards for adoptive parents PDQ. There are good, kind and experienced adopters there who live and breathe this stuff 24/7 (with the emphasis on the live).

You will get empathy, advice, practical help and guidance on how to access the best possible support for your child and your family. The discussion here has got very sidetracked into the pros/cons of PRUs: the adoptive parents on AUK may help you unpick why your child is now behaving why he is at his current school and help you put in place strategies to help you make school ‘work’ again for your boy or help you make a decision about choosing another educational setting that best meets his needs. That setting may or not be the PRU.

Your son is lucky to have such a strong advocate.

Me again...just wanted to add that the laws around adopted children in education have changed since September 2018, and that every school is now obliged to have a designated teacher for adopted children: who is that teacher at your son’s school? How are they spending his annual Pupil Premium Plus funding of £2,300 (again, the laws have changed around this funding now, because it was being abused by many schools who did not prioritise spending it on the very children it’s designed to help. Schools now have to demonstrate (to Ofsted) how they are spending the funding they receive for adopted children actually on the adopted children in their care. Why are they not spending his funding allocation to help him?

Similarly, since the legislation around adopted children in schools has changed, each local authority’s Virtual School team is now tasked with overnighting the education of adopted as well as looked after children: how is your authority’s Virtual School team helping your son?

I’m by no means an expert but I’m a fellow adopter 10 years in and I want to make sure that you are aware that schools and education departments have legal obligations to ensure that adopted children are fully able to access a full education.