Primary school PRU

[DesperateMother2018]

Posting here hoping I will get traffic and “chat” seems too frivolous.

Have had to name change as details may be too identifying.

My DS is in Year 3 at our local primary. He is adopted. Since the SATs last term, his emotional behaviour has been awful - and I feel as though we as the parents and the school are at crisis point. He is disrupting the class almost every day - throwing things, going under tables, upturning tables and chairs - and is having to spend large chunks of time out of the class.

The school have been good and are trying to get a one to one TA although not sure how quickly this can be put in place.

He is academically able - even above average in a couple of subjects. He has friends, the school is sure he is not autistic, but the friends are beginning to get scared of him - and I don’t blame them.

I have spent the last week crying almost every day because I am not sure what the trigger was (other than SATs). I am also not sure this is naughty behaviour - rather, he seems to be crying out for help. He cannot bear to fail and he cannot bear to struggle with work.

I am beginning to think that this is all heading to him being referred to a PRU. A paediatrician that I have seen doesn’t think this would be so bad as there would be experts there to help him but the thought terrifies me.

Should it terrify me? Should it upset me? I think if there was a 1:1 TA for him who was next to him all the time, I think we could break this cycle and we could help him.

Separately, I am accessing lots of therapy for him too.

So - any experience of PRUs anyone? are they all bad? Could it help him? Could he return to mainstream schooling in due course? He already feels different enough so I am worried that being sent to a PRU will make things even worse. But maybe we need to hit rock bottom before things get better?

I am struggling to cope so please be gentle in your answers.

That should say oversighting the education of adopted children...not overnighting. Though I would personally vote for my authority’s Virtual School team to overnight the LAC and previously LAC on their books. That way, I would finally be happy that the lazy buggers actually had a full workload for once. Not a fan, can you tell?!

Oversee maybe?
There is also the Virtual Head at LEA level.

Just to chime in with my views, why send him to a PRU when you haven’t tried a 1:1 or secured an EHCP? He would probably have attachment disorder at least. He would qualify for an ehcp in line with the legal test (as opposed to LA policy), but you sound like a switched on parent who could navigate the murky waters and secure a robust EHC plan. Cahms and a decent EP report (and OT and SALT) should be part of the needs assessment.

Ah, yes, drspouse, that’s the right word...thanks. Maybe, unlike me, you have not been up since 4am with a poorly baby, and are consequently not brain addled? Anyway, regardless of semantics, I want to ensure that the OP can access the right help from the right people.

Just to be clear, OP, the Virtual Head OVERSEES the Virtual School team mentioned in my post above.

Agree that the Virtual School should be involved- but be aware this is a new duty, and the offers around the country are... patchy.

The Virtual School of the authority in which your son is educated should be able to help you- however, they have a duty to offer advice and guidance to schools and parents of ‘previously Looked After Children’. They have no duty to undertake direct work with children, nor do they have any responsibility or oversight of the children themselves (as they do for LAC) their duty is purely towards parents and schools.

I mention this just in case, as some VSs are following this to the letter and only making information available on their websites

If you pm me the authority in which your son attends school (not where you live or where he was LAC if different), I can forward you the VS contact details.

OP we were in exactly the same situation a few years ago. I don’t want to say more here but please PM me if you want to chat. 💐

tethers - couldn't agree more re service being shit patchy. I went to a conference last year on attachment in the classroom - the head honcho of VS was there and talked a very good talk but the service on the ground is a very different story.

Thanks everyone for your input in this thread. DS had an ok week - he wasn’t sent to see head teacher and was not close to having a temporary exclusion.

There are some meetings taking place early next half term which should hopefully start to get in place the support DS needs.

And I have managed to eat!

Glad to hear that OP 

Hello Desperate
We had very similar issues with our adopted son. We worked carefully with the school and managed to get him a full time EHCP. We are now looking for a primary school with an SEMH provision. Give it time and you will find something. Don't give up and get the virtual school to come in and help. They are helpful. Say it's an emergency.

I've realised I am a few months late for any advice. But hope things are now better?

Thanks Lingaloo. I am afraid it got worse. He was excluded (I am told unlawfully) and we are hanging on by a thread on a reduced timetable. Senco is doing what they can and class teacher is amazing but Head is pretty rubbish. We are now in EHCP process and strongly expect to get a 1:1 support in place - but that will take time. The Virtual ahead wasn’t very useful - she made it clear that her responsibility was LAC not formerly LAC.

We are looking at home schooling and possibly changing school....total nightmare. We now realise we chose the wrong school - how naive we were! I never asked about SEN provision - what a big mistake.
Big mistake. Huge.

Op sorry but your last comment made me laugh in the midst of your trauma Guessing it was a pretty woman reference?
How did you go on with another ed psych?

Aah - you caught me out! Yep - Pretty Woman!

My amazing private Ed Psych has been brilliant. It is a journey - and there are no quick fixes.

It's wrong though that you need to go private to get what you need. Are you moving schools?