Please help

[LartenCrepsley]

I cannot cope any longer. I have an exceptionally challenging class, 80% of whom have some sort of SEND (some undiagnosed), including ASD, ODD, ADHD and dyslexia. The SENDCo is the principal and is unqualified and has no idea how to support these children, and sets completely unrealistic targets (at least one third of the class exceeding ARE and two thirds at ARE and none BARE, in any subject area). I have also been handed additional responsibilities that I cannot manage.
I have two small children. I have no time for them.
I am constantly fielding complaints from parents (for example a parent has complained that I may prioritise caring for my child over ensuring their child makes accelerated progress). I am averaging three additional meetings every week, after school.
I am at breaking point. I can’t stop crying. I have been sick from the stress. My hair is falling out. I am shaking all the time. I can’t drive safely.
I’ve been sent home from work today. I am in no fit state to be in charge of my class (my 3yo was up all night being sick), but of course I am now worrying about the work I have to catch up and the meeting I have had to postpone. Being signed off is not an option. Not being there is not an option.
Please help.

That's good...but tablets will take a while to kick in so plan to go back for a second week sign-off at least. If your school is like that, does that mean no burgundy book?? So you CAN resign for aug 31st? I really would, the set up sounds mad and I would be v concerned at the liability placed on me like that without training, and clearly no support from head. There are loads of good schools out there who DO respect their staff, please try one of them, you sound really caring but you will end up totally burnt out if you continue like this.

Well done you. One week is a start but you need to be off for longer. I've been there. I know. I was very resistant to being off but looking back I know that was what was needed. Of your gp tried to prescribe some anti depressants please don't resist add they will help. They take time to get into your system though.
Your head needs to support her staff and maybe this is the wake up call she needs. Please don't work from home though - you are now off sick. If you do your head will expect it to continue.

I can't believe the GP only signed you off for a week, OP - you're unlikely to feel any different this time next week It sounds to me like you need to be off for the rest of the term. Spend lovely time with your son and I don't say this lightly because I know it's not easy, but maybe consider a move to a school that will value your expertise.

When you go back to the doctor maybe take written note about the pressure you are under and how you feel broken, depressed etc. It can be difficult to get that across verbally in 5 min esp as no one like to moan, bit they need to understand that this is serious and won't be better in a couple of weeks.

It's likely the sign off is for one week in the first instance because the GP wants to keep a close eye on OP and see her again soon.

All the best OP

I understand the type of school you mean OP.

Let me be very clear here.

Parental complaints ARE NOT your problem OR your fault. They come in ...and SO WHAT.

You know as well as I do that the way you are feeling is not good for you, the kids or the school.

So whatever they say/do/email remember this.

The world is a big place.

Your school feels right now like it’s so big and important and vital.

It isn’t. Do not even think about going back until you regain perspective.

What is most important in this situation is you. Take care of you.

Please look after yourself.
Teachers are signed off and still get jobs.

I hope you look after yourself and get better soon

Parents are not allowed to tell you that you can't be ill, it doesn't matter how much they are paying.

The headteacher/principle/owner or whatever they are called needs to deal with the parental complaints.

Meanwhile you need to leave this job as soon as possible before your health is seriously damaged, or before it kills you.

You can sign up with supply agencies for September and start looking for another job. Not all schools are like this. Not all independent schools are like this.

No job is worth this much unhappiness and damage to yourself and your family.

Is the school subject to the Ofsted equivalent for independent schools? Can’t recall the acronym for it.

However, there are so many things wrong with the organisation that I’m amazed it’s still operating. I agree with chickenowner You cannot work in that environment. It’s toxic at best and dangerous at worst. No accountability, no training - a shambles.

Take time to recover and get out as fast as possible.

Well done OP. A week is a start. As I read your post it was like reliving a few years ago. An ex colleague who in had stayed in touch with (I left a toxic school, as had many others but she had stayed) was in an almost identical situation to you. She too wasn't coping with the workload and no support. She was confronted in the playground about why little Johnny wasn't exceeding, why little Mary didn't know xyz etc etc. On the way to work one morning, she lost control of her car and was involved in an horrific RTC. Instead of the few weeks off as we had suggested, she had several months in hospital and even more recovering at home. Her DC missed out on having their mum.

PLEASE OP, take a few weeks off now and look for another job. No job is worth this.

Just wondering how you're doing op? Hope you're ok. X

Hi, thanks for asking. I’m definitely on the mend. I was signed off for another week so I’m due back at work on Thursday of next week. I think I’ll be ready then. I’ve been prescribed citilopram and I really think it’s started helping in the past day or so. I feel a lot more positive now.
Thank you all so much for the solid advice and support you gave me on this thread.

I'm so glad you're feeling a little bit better. Small steps. X

Glad things seem clearer now. Don't rush back if you are not ready though.