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Whether you're a permanent teacher, supply teacher or student teacher, you'll find others in the same situation on our Staffroom forum.

Original poster

Please help

64 replies

LartenCrepsley · 13/06/2018 09:59

I cannot cope any longer. I have an exceptionally challenging class, 80% of whom have some sort of SEND (some undiagnosed), including ASD, ODD, ADHD and dyslexia. The SENDCo is the principal and is unqualified and has no idea how to support these children, and sets completely unrealistic targets (at least one third of the class exceeding ARE and two thirds at ARE and none BARE, in any subject area). I have also been handed additional responsibilities that I cannot manage.
I have two small children. I have no time for them.
I am constantly fielding complaints from parents (for example a parent has complained that I may prioritise caring for my child over ensuring their child makes accelerated progress). I am averaging three additional meetings every week, after school.
I am at breaking point. I can’t stop crying. I have been sick from the stress. My hair is falling out. I am shaking all the time. I can’t drive safely.
I’ve been sent home from work today. I am in no fit state to be in charge of my class (my 3yo was up all night being sick), but of course I am now worrying about the work I have to catch up and the meeting I have had to postpone. Being signed off is not an option. Not being there is not an option.
Please help.

OP posts:
noblegiraffe · 13/06/2018 22:25

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO GO IN TOMORROW.

You just don’t.

keiratwiceknightly · 13/06/2018 22:29

Please dont Go in.

I had my first day off this year on Tuesday - a good friend of mine took her own life on Monday and I was in too much of a state. Nothing - NOTHING- is worth you jeopardising your mental health. Please stay at home.

WowLookAtYou · 13/06/2018 22:35

“I don’t pay ££££ a year for teachers to be ill!”
Shock Angry

How fucking DARE they?!!!!!! PLEASE do not set foot in that place again until your doctor has declared you fit to work. Any parental complaints (and frankly, they can fuck right off!) can either be parked, or dealt with by the Head.

I am so angry on your behalf.
But Flowers and Wine for you.

BringOnTheScience · 13/06/2018 23:16

Having seen your update ... all the more reason to not go in!!! No-one has to accept that sort of treatment at work.

You are unwell
You need to get better

Flowers
Bellabutterfly2016 · 14/06/2018 00:14

www.agbis.org.uk

Are they members of this organisation or something similar? They must be accountable to someone

Seriously take the time off it sounds horrendous xx

Neolara · 14/06/2018 00:23

I'm. chair of governors. If I knew a member of staff felt like you, I would be absolutely horrified and would be asking questions of the head about why you were under so much pressure. I definitely think you should get signed off. Realistically.whats the alternative? It sounds like you are in no fit state to carry on working.

NewName54321 · 14/06/2018 01:34

Get signed off. Someone paid more than you will sort out your class and all the other stuff coming your way.

Stay off for long enough to give yourself some thinking space and to make a plan. Are you in a contract that means you now can't leave until Christmas? You may need Union support to negotiate an early release. If you were to leave, the school would barely even register your absence by the start of the next term, but the impact on your family of staying will last forever.

Think about what would you do if you do leave - find a job in another school, go part-time, do something different? Do you need to rethink your finances to make this possible? Don't go back to work until you have worked out what your long-term plan is. Having the light ahead of knowing where you are going will get you through this tunnel.

[One day, this country will wake up to the crisis in education and how many teachers are absorbing this on a personal level and the toll this is taking on them.] and their families.]

Original poster
LartenCrepsley · 14/06/2018 06:21

We don’t have a board of governors, of even an SLT. I know it sounds bonkers, and it is, but it’s literally the principal, who bought the school as a business and set themself up as leadership. How the other half lives, eh? No HODs, not even phase leaders or KS coordinators.

OP posts:
isthistoonosy · 14/06/2018 06:49

They may have bought the school but they have no idea how to run it as a business and that is not your problem. Get signed off and after you are better find another job.

SureIusedtobetaller · 14/06/2018 06:53

Do not go in. Speak to your union and the chair of govs.
Those children are being failed and not by you. Something needs to be done - for you and for them.

WowLookAtYou · 14/06/2018 06:54

Why are you prepared to sacrifice your own health on the altar of someone else's business venture?
If this Head is stupid enough to open a school in this way and run it as you describe, it's really down to them if it all goes tits up and the staff walks.
Don't go down with the sinking ship.

ParellelReality · 14/06/2018 06:55

Stop being a martyr. Get signed off.

Chottie · 14/06/2018 06:58

Nothing, absolutely nothing is worth ruining your health for.

Wyatt98765 · 14/06/2018 07:05

Ok, I understand the feelings of pressure and guilt you are going through right now (they are wrong you are in a ridiculous position and nobody would be coping with that workload BUT let’s leave that aside and break this down into steps so you can manage the next few hours)

For today - think of it this way - if you threw up yesterday then there is a good chance that you have got the vomiting bug your three year old had - therefore you must absolutely NOT go in today as you will pass it on to all these children!! Tell it to your self that and tell the school that. It would be irresponsible to go in and pass that on - message in - still feeling extremely ill and nauseous - think I have a vomiting bug - need to follow NHS guidelines until am better. Buy yourself another day. If anyone moans etc - be creative and give them graphic stories of the amount of vomit!!

Then go to bed - try and sleep a little bit and calm down a bit. Try and get a doctors appointment this afternoon - emergency one - about your hair loss - see if the doctor thinks it is stress related and see what they say...

WipsGlitter · 14/06/2018 07:13

Get signed off and start looking for a different job.

If you have a work phone switch it off and don't turn it back on until you are on school premises again.

eyeoresancerre · 14/06/2018 07:18

Please listen to everyone - take time off. Give yourself permission to put you and your family before others. Very tricky to do as a teacher and I've only just worked it out myself. I used to have the teaching fear that a telling off was always just round the corner- a fear of juggling too many things and something was going to get missed.
But realising it is just a job is so important. Take the time- The school gives zero fucks about your health & work like balance otherwise they would be helping you. Don't feel guilty you should be bloody angry- how dare they drive you to this point - it's a bloody job, not prison - be angry at them.

WowLookAtYou · 14/06/2018 08:38

I have a horrible feeling that the OP has gone in today.

Original poster
LartenCrepsley · 14/06/2018 08:53

I did go in, but I was only there long enough to prep today’s lessons and homework for my class (had three emails this morning querying why they’d had no homework yesterday!). I’m home now and seeing the doctor later on this morning.
Thank you all so much for replying to my thread. It means a lot to know there is support out there from and for my colleagues in teaching.

OP posts:
Badoukas · 14/06/2018 09:12

I'm the child of a teacher who burnt out. She always put the job before her kids and was unavailable to us on many levels. As an obviously dedicated teacher, I feel sure you could find a better working environment elsewhere. Think of yourself and your own family first.

icklekid · 14/06/2018 09:35

Sounds like a very short sighted head. I would look at getting signed off until the summer and looking for a new job. There is no shortage of jobs for good teachers. In schools that are run well, without aggressive rude parents who go unchallenged. Promise the grass is greener!

Neolara · 14/06/2018 10:02

Look, the head/owner has totally brought this on herself. Not having any leadership capacity is totally nuts and clearly puts complete unreasonable pressure on teaching staff. It's a dysfunctional system and your struggling is this context is unsurprising. Please don't think it reflects badly on you personally. Other schools are not like this. Id start looking around ASAP for another job.

BingTheButterflySlayer · 14/06/2018 11:06

I've worked in a school with a similar setup to the one you describe so I do get where you're coming from... but you cannot go on in the state you are - at the end of the day - that kind of parent will complain and moan about everything you do anything, and you are going to do no good by anyone (in school, out of school and in your family) if you go on like that.

I kept pushing myself through when my mental health started to crumble (like you describe - a very very challenging class)... it's never recovered to be honest - I still get panic attacks now, stammer when I'm stressed and my confidence has gone. I regret deeply that I didn't get signed off much earlier as it basically messed with my health so much I've not taught full-time since (and boy do I miss that).

Original poster
LartenCrepsley · 14/06/2018 11:06

Well, the GP had signed me off for a week (which is very inconvenient, but there we are) and prescribed me tablets for anxiety and depression.

OP posts:
SausageEggAndChips · 14/06/2018 11:12

Good to hear op, you can always go back next week for another sick note, take care Flowers

BringOnTheScience · 14/06/2018 16:18

WELL DONE YOU! Seeking help is hard... and you Did It! Flowers
Now look after yourself and spend some quality time with your son.