Do I HAVE to go on the residential?

[rainsbows]

Private prep school. I'm the only class teacher with young children so I can't fathom leaving them for a week though the trip involves my class (and another). Do I really have to go or can I request I cover another class whilst another member of staff goes?

Your DH should take a weeks holiday or pay for a nanny for a week. Get a grandparent to stay for a week. You've got a part time job in a prep school and gave only been there since September. You will be expected to go on residential, very difficult being a teacher with no childcare back up. I work at a private school, you are expected to go. Also as a parent with private school kids I'd be a bit miffed if their form teacher didn't go on the trip.

I can’t thjnk of anything worse than taking your own three year old on a residential school trip! You wouldn’t be able to look after your pupils properly if you were supervising a three year old, and something like PGL wouldn’t be suitable at all.

I think it’s a pretty poor show that your children’s father can’t care for them for 5 days. Lots of parents work away from home dozens of times a year and their partners cope ok. You say they are at school and nursery so I’m guessing they are not tiny breastfeeding babies .

I’ve cared for my three children alone for literally hundreds of times since they were born and yet your children’s father can’t do it once ?

Is he usually so uninvolved in their care and so unsupportive of your career?

In theory could you extend the nursery hours and use after school club for the relevant week if DH is on call?

You need to check your contract.

As you know about the trip well in advance, could you book some childcare / after school club for that week? 7 and 3 is old enough to have a good understanding that you will be away for a week.

You sound hard work. You need to decide if it is impossible to go due to childcare issued or if you don't want to go as you seem unclear on that at the moment.

Then you need to check your contract and talk to the Headteacher.

No one here can tell you if they will willing let you cover another class.

Actually cakes is right, taking the three year old would be a bad idea, I’ll take that back.

I do imagine the trip will be expected of you as it’s your class. If you were really against residentials id have expected you to bring it up before you accepted the job. Is there no way your husband could take leave or request not to be on-call?

I also have a DH who works shifts, so fully understand the dilemmas of juggling school and Home life. If he had to go on a business trip for a week, I’d cope. I’d make arrangements and get on with it. You must have months of notice to sort something out?

Get your dh to take a weeks annual leave. In the first year of a new job it's important.

Ah, I didn’t refresh the thread and see that your children are in fact 7 and 3 .

Your childrens father has plenty notice to arrange his work rota with his employers or to take annual leave . It’s not rocket science, most parents do this all the time.

I’m assuming your trip is in fact Monday - Friday so only four nights. It’s not a big deal .

what does your contract say

That is all that matters. Didn't you think about this when you took the job?

And don't forget other staff may not hve small children, but may have elderly parents they care for, or ill spouses

I suffer from anxiety/agoraphobia which my employer doesn't know about. On top of childcare I just CANNOT go to an unknown place hundreds of miles from home.

Is the trip in the summer term? If so there is lots of time to plan. Your husband needs to book it off as holiday. That’s what people do. I’m sure he doesn’t expect your career to have absolutely no impact on his life at all.

Genuinely considering leaving so I don't have to go. That's the extent of my anxiety.

Massive drip feed there

You don’t sound hard work at all. I too would hate to do a residential and leave young children, especially a three year old. At our school, people would help out at cover. As for finding a nanny for 5 days-how do people really think that happens?!

If it ends up that you have to go, I think your husband taking holiday is the only way it’ll work. It is what we had to do when I had jury service.

Backyard have you considered that I've dripfed that out of embarrassment?

Was typing when you added in about your feelings about going. I think best to bring it up ASAP with your head teacher so this doesn’t build and build for you. Good luck.

OP did you declare your anxiety on your occupational health form when you took the job. If you didn't then you have a breach of contract situation and not a leg to stand on using this as your reason.

Do your work know that you're anxious? Is this diagnosed anxiety under a GP or self diagnosed? You hold down a job so you're not severely agoraphobic. If this is such an issue then you wouldn't have taken the job without discussing the residential issue, surely.

I've never done an occupational health check. The school didn't offer me one despite asking.

That is a huge drip feed. You need to speak to your GP and your employer as a matter of urgency then if you feel that you are genuinely unable to go. Had you said that in your first post the replies would have been completely different. I hope you get the support you need.

OP, what help are you getting to manage your anxiety?

I assume you’re getting help for anxiety if it’s got to this stage. Talk to your therapist about how you can come up with a plan of what to say to your head, how to manage it as a family etc.