Probation year - constantly feel like crying

[sweetkitty]

Did my PDGE last year, hard juggling it with a family but really enjoyed it. Now doing my probation/NQT year in a lovely little school but feel like I'm sinking.

I'm in school 8.30-4.30pm as I have to leave to make dinner/take the DC to their clubs, work in the evenings 8.30-11ish, Friday night I usually spend lying in a heap as I'm so tired, last night I went to bed with the DC at 9. Was up at 7 this morning for swimming lessons and I've hardly sat down, now my Saturday night will be spent ironing. Tomorrow will be housework then working as I have so much to do for Monday. I don't even like the weekends anymore.

All this for about £1000 a month once we pay childcare. I cannot enjoy spending any time with my own DC as I'm thinking I need to work. I'm totally exhausted and it's only the end of October I'm dreading another few months of this.

DH pulls his weight but we have no family help and four DC, the only thing that's keeping me going is the though of dropping a few days once I'm qualified.

Please tell me it gets better but my colleagues says no it doesn't. I also have a chronic pain condition which doesn't help either.

The beginning of the NQT year is the worst. But it does get better, and if your colleagues say it doesn't then it might mean it's not a good school for workload.

I'm just starting my second year, and things come so much more naturally, I can get a lot of my plans from last year (or lesson structures, ideas if not the whole thing!). I also have colleagues this year who pull their weight more. I don't spring out of bed every morning, but I love my job.

Do you have a tumble dryer? If not, change your washing machine to a washer dryer and start buying clothes that don't need ironing. M&S do school shirts that come out lovely.

Slow cooker, batch cooking, freezer are your friends.

It gets easier but it takes a couple of years to genuinely ease up. I went on supply to deal with it. I am fortunate to be OK financially so it's not a huge deal if I can't work everyday. Something to consider post NQT year.

£1000 after childcare is brilliant tbh

I started working in a school and since then pay to get my ironing done. It's about £2.50 a shirt in my area, which to me is worth it considering the time it saves in a busy schedule.

If you've been a SAHM for 12 years, how old are your children? My eldest DD has been doing all the ironing since she was 10 (she's 12 nearly 13 now). She enjoys ironing anyway, but we also let her hog the TV if she does it, which is an incentive for her.

My younger DD is only 7, but even she does the hoovering sometimes, and she's a dab hand at peeling veggies.

You need to get out of the SAHM mentality of doing everything. You need to think of yourself as the manager/director of the housework rather than the dogsbody who does the housework. Look at all the household jobs, and if your children are old enough, then everyone should be doing an equal amount of housework. Household jobs are all so different, so there's bound to be something that your children like doing, or at least don't mind. For example, my older DD likes ironing, but hates tidying up/cleaning, but I don't mind cleaning. My husband enjoys cooking, which I hate, so he does all of that (batch cooks every Sunday).

If you still WANT to do everything for the family, then you need to re-think whether going back to work is really what you want?

Can you pay your oldest child to do a couple of chores? Have a lot of easy meals that can just be shoved in the oven or a slow cooker.
Pay someone to do the ironing once a week.
Will you get more chance to spend with your kids during the Xmas and summer holidays (I'm not a teacher so don't know what the work load is like during the holidays). If not then could you have one evening a week that's purely for family time, and the rest of the time you work your butt off until you can go PT?

£2.50 a shirt? I'd give up teaching and iron for a living, the pay is much better!

I'm afraid pretty much all the teachers I know feel like that. This is why people are leaving the profession in their thousands. I do adult teaching, private tuition and cover supervisor work these days. I wouldn't go back to proper full-time teaching for all the tea in China.

Could you get a cleaner on a Saturday when you are there to lock the dog away?
Things will get easier for you just as the DC get older but for now if you can throw money at it then do so, school dinners. Instead of making four (or 6?) packed lunches your DH could be helping with something essential.