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The staffroom

Whether you're a permanent teacher, supply teacher or student teacher, you'll find others in the same situation on our Staffroom forum.

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Original poster

Not cut out for this

32 replies

StrugglingTA · 15/09/2017 17:22

How long do you give a new class/job role before you decide you just can't do it.
I am coming home complaining and in tears tonight and DH says I should ' jack it in because all I do is moan'. I know if I did this we would struggle a lot financially but I'm so unhappy at the minute.

I can't even put my finger on what's making me so unhappy as I enjoy being with the children. I love explaining stuff to them. I love it when they get it. But our class is tricky. As well as a third needing support to even write the date we have at least 3 with medical needs and AD/Adhd. They do not have one to one support. I'm one of 2 TAs in the class but as the other one has been working with this class and teacher forever I feel like I'm a cuckoo in the nest. I am making mistakes at the minute i know that. I don't know the way they work or their system. At no time has the teacher ever made me feel this way I have to say.

I just can't do it and I also have to provide interventions and show progress. It all seems overwhelming and I don't know what to do. I am exhausted and is only week 2😮

Do I give it time or give up as im not made of the right stuff?

OP posts:

thecatfromjapan · 15/09/2017 17:28

I think it will get better. At the moment, it seems like a complicated system, which you are on the outside of. Oddly enough, it's not like that - you are already a part of it.

Why not focus on building relationships with the children? Focus on that, reflect on what you're learning about the children and take it from there? That way, you block out your worries about other things, you will be working on something that will really help you and the class, and you will be able to see the progress you are making.

I suspect the progress will come. Not in two weeks, though.

Classes are complex systems, and they start off complicated from Day 1. It can seem overwhelming.

It's a shame you don't seem to have a closer relationship with the other adults in the class because that can really help.

Original poster

StrugglingTA · 15/09/2017 18:00

I agree it is a shame. I feel very much the outsider, the not so competent one! I did the lunch menus today (which I did every day in my previous class) and it was all checked by the other TA. I know I'm not used to the work and ways of working yet (different key stage) but I'm trying hard. And I'm getting to know the children slowly but as I didn't move up with them i have only known them 2 weeks.

It's been a tiring week at home as well so maybe it's all just come to a head.

OP posts:

deary · 15/09/2017 19:25

I'm not sure if it helps, but you are not alone!
I'm new in a school with lots of long established staff that are obviously all friends outside of school.
Stick with it, it will get easier!

Pringlemunchers · 15/09/2017 19:37

It will get better, give it some time. It is overwhelming at the moment. Maybe give yourself a time limit, just beyond your possibilities, give another month.....eek it out to 6 months. The difficulties you face right now will have settled , you may have new ones and decide that it is not for you, but that will be yours decision to make.

Original poster

StrugglingTA · 15/09/2017 20:52

Thank you. I've been feeling a bit apprehensive since before the summer holidays when our new job roles were allocated. I thought maybe it would be ok once I got into it. I just can't seem to get the hang of it...

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Original poster

StrugglingTA · 17/09/2017 16:34

The Sunday night dread is creeping in. Had a panic attack yesterday (which I've not had for ages)at the thought of Monday. I think I know I have to give it to half term at least but in the meantime I don't want to feel like I'm constantly messing up or that I'm so ineffective that my little groups aren't making progress. I don't know why they chose me to lead interventions as I have no confidence in what I do so how can the children😓

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hollytom · 17/09/2017 17:29

Oh dear that doesn't sound good. I know what you mean about Sunday night dread but this sounds worse. Is it worth carrying on with the job if it's making you feel this bad?

Pringlemunchers · 17/09/2017 19:15

They chose you because they can see you have the potential to lead. They would not have selected someone they did not like or didn't think was up to the job.

Pringlemunchers · 17/09/2017 19:19

I don't want to sound harsh, but sometimes listening to your dh is not the way to go. He is giving you an out. Maybe for a quiet life or maybe because he feels like he is supporting you, by saying to give up. Is this what you what? You are new to the job, stop being so hard on yourself, don't you think the others have been in exactly the same position as yourself and know how you feel .Could you have a chat with someone at work?

twolittleboysonetiredmum · 17/09/2017 19:22

Teacher here - please give it more time! This first half term is awful for everyone, experience or not. All the kids are miles back from where you left them behaviour and academically. Systems change every year so no one has a clue, can guarantee it's the same where you are! Anyone who seems like they know what they're doing is totally blagging it. You'll feel much better if you focus on getting to know the kids, get a to do list sorted and prioritise then figure out what you're doing whilst doing it rather than panicking about not understanding it all

twolittleboysonetiredmum · 17/09/2017 19:23

Excuse awful grammar, hungover and tired and putting small chn to bed!

PosiePootlePerkins · 17/09/2017 19:28

I sympathise OP I felt like this most days in my previous job, and it was horrible. For me it was the school environment, very chaotic with a difficult catchment and no clear leadership. I have been in my current school for 2 1/2 years now and I love it, its just a much better 'fit' for me. Yes it is demanding and at times exhausting but I am so much happier on the whole. I stuck my old job for a year, but was ready to walk by the end of that year. The only thing that stopped me was having to explain it to a potential new employer!
I would say try and hang on in there, for a few more weeks at least, but don't make yourself ill. At the end of the day I always think, we're not paid enough to be miserable!

Original poster

StrugglingTA · 17/09/2017 22:14

Thank you all. No I don't want to give up. I want to learn and I love being in school and I love being with the children.

It's reassuring to know that the first half term is usually bad for everyone. Have only been a TA since easter and so have never been in a classroom at the beginning of the school year.

Really not looking forward to tomorrow morning though.....

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PosiePootlePerkins · 17/09/2017 22:16

Good luck, one day at a time

Original poster

StrugglingTA · 18/09/2017 07:09

Going to take even teenier steps. My aim is to get to playtime duty. Then lunch. Then I'll be starting the interventions programme today. When I get home at 4 if I've managed not to cry I'm going to reward myself with a cup of tea and some cake

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twolittleboysonetiredmum · 18/09/2017 07:32

Good luck.
I just reread your first post and one thing that struck me is all the things you're worrying about (kids who can't write date, Sen levels in class etc) are really the main concerns of the teacher. They should be directing you in how to support them etc and giving to objectives at least to help with intervention. If not, then ask for them as it's his/her job. They won't mind I'm sure, id prefer my tas to ask than not do what the kids need

PosiePootlePerkins · 18/09/2017 21:42

How was today OP?

Original poster

StrugglingTA · 19/09/2017 15:43

It wasn't great and today wasn't much better. I'm just not getting things right. At all. I'm rubbish at my job and I constantly feel lost. I'm not managing behavior of the sen well - I try the strategies in place and sometimes they don't work and I just feel useless.

I was told off for giving out house points today as there was another system in place (which I hadn't been told about) and so I had to nip to the loo sharpish as I could feel the tears pricking.

If I last until the end of the week I will be amazed.

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Tiredmum100 · 19/09/2017 16:26

I kinda know how you're feeling. I work as a nurse and had worked in a particular area for 9 years, I'm doing the same job now but in another city and its hard as their systems are different to what I'm use to. It's been 4 months and it is much better as I'm getting use to their way of working. My advice would be to set your self a time limit and review how you're feeling. Speak to your colleagues and tell them how you're feeling. I'm sure they can help you, even if it's just a bit of reassurance that you're not doing a bad job like you think you are. Your first post echoed my parents. My mum was a teacher in a special needs department, she'd come home moaning and workdamn doing lesson prep all evening and my dad would tell her to "pack it in"! Which is easier said than done! Speak to someone in school tomorrow and see what they can do to help you first. I'm sure you're doing a great job and I take my hat off to you, I couldn't work with children all day long! I'd go mad

Original poster

StrugglingTA · 19/09/2017 17:08

In wondering if it's worth noting down everything I'm doing wrong. It's just so much and I can't think of anything I'm doing right. I'm not good enough that I wouldn't let the school down at ofsted.

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PosiePootlePerkins · 19/09/2017 21:30

Sorry you're feeling so down I am wondering if the class teacher and other TA are being unsupportive. Its no good telling you off for something if you weren't told the correct system. I have been in this position in my old job and it makes you feel so rubbish. Would it be worth raising it with either the teacher, or if you feel more appropriate, your line manager?

missmapp · 19/09/2017 21:35

Can you ask for a meeting with your class teacher/ line manager. I'm a deputy and one of our TAs , who has just moved key stages, came to see me last week . She was in tears for the same kind f reasons as you - felt out of her depth and as if she was getting everything wrong. We met, went through the main concerns, made a list of what was going well, arranged some CPD for new interventions and set small targets for next week. I met her today and she was all smiles- things were getting easier and she felt more ' useful'. If you can talk to someone it will help- they obviously want you there so would be happy to help rather than have you leave.

Original poster

StrugglingTA · 20/09/2017 06:08

Do you think they'd still want me there? I just seem to be in the way and not much help. Even other TAs keep asking how is it going as im sure they know I'm rubbish and not getting it right.

I know I need a meeting but I'm too scared as to what I'll be told and I'm not completely sure who my line manager is now I've moved classes

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PosiePootlePerkins · 20/09/2017 06:21

If they are a supportive school then they should be doing all they can to help you become more confident in your role. You need to go into a meeting with a list of things you would like them to show you. Ask for training if there's anything relevant. If, in the case of my previous school, you don't get that support and are made to feel that its your fault, it is probably not the right place for you. Honestly, speaking from experience, its the school's job to support and train you for your role. It made such a difference to me when I moved schools and discovered that I could be good at my job with the right environment and people around me.
Your confidence has taken a knock but hold your head high, you have nothing to feel insecure about.

SparklingBollox · 20/09/2017 06:28

I bet the others are asking how things are because it is the beginning of term and they no it's a difficult few weeks.
Do you feel like you could speak to your teacher?

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