Do fee paying parents think there are no limits..

[darknessontheedgeoftown]

..to how much stress they can put teachers under? Have just spoken to yet another example colleague from a private school in an area of London full of high earning parents with massive equity and frankly spoiled and unpleasant children. I do wonder whether the parents know the pernicious effect they are having on teachers constantly expecting the earth and constantly fault finding. I myself left this destructive life behind as I couldn't face another 20 years of the stress and unpleasantness of the job. Admittedly SMT are gravely at fault for not protecting staff either but parents also need reining in.

I completely second Emma's response to original. I was in a normal real world job before which I hated but which wasn't as stressful as teaching. In this job the emails were the job not on top of a job. I remember exhaustedly logging on at 4pm to open a slew of emails mostly admin from others justifying their jobs but also from parents. A second working day effectively began there then a third one when I went home. As for the comments about holidays and pension I have just had it with this nonsense. Very very many teachers die within a relatively short time of collecting their pension so the fact it is defined benefit is irrelevant, if they say get 36 months of pension of 1500 per month they get back £54k which is probably less than they contributed. I worked 60 hours a week for 35 weeks a year so even excluding holiday working 2100 hours a year which is the equivalent of 45 hour weeks for a job with a now standard 25 day holiday entitlement. So I don't want to hear any more nonsense about pensions and holidays it is a hard hard job which people do because they want to and then entitled imbeciles make into an impossible one. Emma I got out and I really don't regret it in fact it probably saved my sanity. DM me should you want to know more.

Sorry if it sounded like I was having a go about holidays etc, was just trying to say I understand the job can be crushing, but I can't think of a job that isn't at times, so I think it's best to focus on equipping ourselves for the stress more.

best to focus on equipping ourselves for the stress more.
exactly. All jobs are stressful - choose a job with the kind of stress you can cope with, thrive on, even.
I couldn't cope with the stress of being eg a self- employed driving instructor, or a bus driver, or a paramedic, so I don't try - I choose a job that I can cope with. Others couldn't cope with the stress of teaching but are happy as a bus driver...
If you find dealing with emails stressful - given that it is there now and will not be uninvented, then choose a job that does not involve emails...
All jobs have changed, and wishing you could turn the clock back is ridiculous. So, OP is best out of teaching since the job is too much for her/him. Ditto her/his imaginary 'friend'.

I very much resent the above posts implication that my friend is imaginary. I wish she was it at least that her suffering was. She is on half term at the moment and trying to recuperate. I wouldn't be so quick to cast around aspersions that people are making things up when they are not. Obviously I'm not going to go into any more detail than I already have to protect her identity but I am seriously offended by someone publically implying that I am lying and I would like the person who posted this to retract what they said.

But the super rich parents didn't get that rich by being nice. They are used to scrambling over each other in the cut and thrust of their jobs so they probably aren't even aware that they are behaving this way towards the teachers.

This isn't true. My DCs go to private with UHNW folks and frankly they really aren't that bothered about the technicalities of their children's education. They take them out of school all the time to travel and aren't too bothered about hot housing or whatever - why should they, their children will never have to work a day in their lives.

As for us "ordinary" top earners, it isn't always cut and thrust that gets the money, sometimes it's a life of privilege that paves the way. I appreciate my DCs teachers and do everything I can to support them and their relationships with my DC. They are the ones who have the day to day influence in my DCs lives. We have good relationships with the staff and appreciate the hard work that goes on.

You want a retraction on an anonymous forum? Get over yourself.

Just ignore it. You've said some fairly insulting and goady things about people with money here OP.

I've been a teacher for 20 years, in private and state schools. The private school parents were lovely, with very very few exceptions. I have dealt with far more difficult parents while teaching in state schools. And even then, difficult parents are a minuscule problem compared with the huge things wrong with being a teacher at the moment.

I think it's rather endearing. Shake hands and make friends or there will be detention.

Some rich people are shits, some poor people are shits. Some upper class people are rich shits, some are poor shits, some are rich nice.... See where I am going with this?

The nicest family I met are wealthy diplomats, and the worst are snooty, stuck up gits who are lucky to be on rediculous relocation packages and think their farts don't smell. The money is irrelevant. They are just people.

I wonder when people make such wide brush stroke comments. If your child said such a thing you'd pull them up for it.

I didn't mean the ordinary top earners. I meant those on 7 figure salaries. That don't start with 1.

I don't like most wealthy people, I find they are generally lacking in empathy, ub pleasant and entitled.

Nice.

What, the very rich are horrible?

VanillaSugar those are the "ordinary" top earners.

What, the very rich are horrible?

Yes, apparently, as opposed to those hearty welcoming working class folks.

GoldenGlobe you are a tit.

And Golden Globe is stealth boasting.

I think it's just that teaching has come more into a business framework. It's not about the joy of educating kids, it's about making the business run smoothly and getting the results from the kids. I think anyone training to be a teacher in the modern day would be naive to think it's all about the passion for kids, that's clearly a secondary element. But I stand by the fact it has nothing to do with wealth, otherwise the friend Would have a great time in a low class secondary, where there are more classroom brawls but definitely fewer emails

I don't need to stealth boast. I have money. There it's an open statement of fact. So what. Some day it may be gone. It doesn't make me any different from anyone else.

Someone else here said they were rolling in it. So what.

I've worked for really really high earners who are really nice. You just can't equate the two. Worst boss wasn't rich but a compete psycho.

'You can't buy class'. That's what my mum used to say.

Careful now, GoldenGlobe. You might be proving OP's point.

Proving the OPs point by saying that money doesn't make anyone any better than anyone else?

And not having money doesn't make you a generous kind person either. As originalbiglymavis said people from all sections of society can be shits.

I have not read the whole thread and am not weighing in about the teacher isue, but I think the "wealthy people are horrible" line is really nasty. Some people are horrible. Some people are OK. Some people are really nice. Some people are "wealthy" (whatever the definition of that is). Some people are not. One has nothing to do with the other.

Many many teachers absolutely DO NOT die within three years of retiring. People who retire in their mid sixties on average live until their mid eighties in this country. What you said is utter bollocks.

The Teachers pension scheme is a final salary scheme and very valuable.

Teaching is more demanding than many ostensibly demanding jobs. You are living by the bell and performing several hours a day to a not-necessarily sympathetic audience. In addition you have to keep up an 'adult' business life of e mails, meetings, professional development etc. You get very little autonomy over your own time. And all this for less money (in many cases) than a London tube driver

However, it can also be very rewarding and a lot of fun.

Bankers, for example, are also at the mercy of emails, bosses, clients etc but they can pop out to lunch or the gym, and they are paid a hell of a lot more.

I think what annoys teachers is when they are treated like servants, which does happen, in a way in which no other professional gets treated (yes I know.,.we could debate whether teachers are professionals, but it would be tedious).

Parents have to realise that education is a joint effort between schools, parents and the learners themselves. If they never sit around a dinner table with their children teaching them the value of education and intelligent debate, the school will always be fighting an uphill battle.

Having said that, I find 1/10 parents to be unsupportive and the remaining 90% are lovely.