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Whether you're a permanent teacher, supply teacher or student teacher, you'll find others in the same situation on our Staffroom forum.

TAAT : favoritism

69 replies

user789653241 · 26/03/2016 10:53

I' m not a teacher.
There is a thread going on on the primary section. Some people says there is clear favouritism happening at their dc's school. Nobody is saying that all the school/teachers are like that. But in my experience, it does exist at my ds's school.
It's not teacher/school bashing. But some teacher seems to take it very personally and one said "School would be awesome without the fucking parents, I'm convinced."
Do all the teacher think it never happens in any school? Are we the ungrateful parents if we think it happens at some(well, in my ds's) school?

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BetweenTwoLungs · 27/03/2016 16:49

For things like star of the week etc I pick everyone over the course of the year.

To represent the school or go on a message or do jobs at playtime, I do pick the reliable children. It's just easier. Plus I feel like the children who are well behaved day in day out deserve to be rewarded for that. It has nothing at all to do with who their parents are though. I don't even know which parents are on the PTA.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 27/03/2016 16:56

Can I ask then

You have a child who finds speaking difficult and is never given a part in a play - so they learn to be on stage

If child A B and C do "jobs" when E F and G can be trusted - but not given a chance

If a child enjoys sport but isn't very good at it? (Sport should be for all)

If a child is "not in your face" and not get any attention?

user789653241 · 27/03/2016 17:12

And clam, this is what you commented quoting my comment.

"Sorry, but this is just bollocks. Complete chippy nonsense"

I was very hurt, getting a vile comment from a poster I formerly respected. Do I get told off for quoting comment from other thread?

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phlebasconsidered · 27/03/2016 17:14

I pick kids on merit. And also so they learn.Example: child A is very disorganised. He gets to be classroom monitor and book monitor. he gets frustrated with disorganization of others, improves.

I pick a football team for an inter school tournament. I ask for volunteers. I stress ability AND teamwork. I pick 5 abilities kids and two non. They win. They also win a prize for teamwork. Ability kids learn teamwork is important, other kids learn that they can work with others and succeed even if they dontt have the specific skills by being enablers.

We have an art exhibition. The artists work looks great. The others,whose art isn't included, organise, publicise and staff the exhibition.

The certificates,meh. Everyone gets one. I like to engineer opportunities for them all.

That said, yes do have favourites. It isn't usually the bright well behaved one. I like the quirky. I like the effort. I like the kid that ran like a windmill for sports relief and collapsed with a sigh before getting up and doing a pitch perfect Eddie Izzard. I like the kind kids, the readers, the ones who play with a lonely kids in the buddy area without being asked.I like the sharers, the geeks. I like the rude bolshy kid who apologizes. I like the asd kid who begins to come out of his tent ( my kid). I like them all.

What I can't do is give them all an award every day. Wish I could but the assembly would take all day.

whatamidoinghereanyway · 27/03/2016 17:19

Phleb, you sound like a wonderful teacher ThanksSmile

clam · 27/03/2016 17:28

I was very hurt
And I'm very hurt too, and yes, angry, on behalf of my fellow-teachers that you (and others) should denigrate our efforts with such casual accusations. I stand by my comments actually, I do think it's chippy nonsense.

And yes, it is bad form to cut and paste a comment from another thread.

user789653241 · 27/03/2016 17:45

Do you know every school in England? Every teacher who works in English schools?
I wasn't attacking anybody, just stated my observation at my ds's school.
But you dismissed it by saying it's bollocks, and quoted my comment several times, generalising it that it doesn't happen. Ever.(Really? How can you be so sure? All the teachers are saint?)
I know there are many teachers who wouldn't do such a thing, even I don't know personally, I can see there are many many great teachers out there, you'll know from just reading posts on MN.
I wasn't even feeling angry about your post targeted at me, it just made me feel really sad. The fact I posted one negative about school made you think that I am an enemy of school/teachers. I was just stating a fact(or my delusion), not looking for argument.

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user789653241 · 27/03/2016 18:34

phlebasconsidered, my child has chronic illness, missing part of organ in his body. His attendance is always below 90%. He has asd traits and struggles socially. He is very bright . He is a geek. He is quirky. He is polite. He works really hard. He spend a lot of time completing projects. He loves helping others. He always holds door for next person. Does he get picked by you? If so, I don't have to feel guilty about him being chosen by his teachers.

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phlebasconsidered · 27/03/2016 19:15

I would pick him! He sounds lovely!

phlebasconsidered · 27/03/2016 19:21

I have to pick 2 awards a week for assembly. My last two were for peserverence in maths when the child in question has been slogging away without a lightbulb moment all week but not given up, and for being a shining example of fabness to a child who has been absolutely dogged about sorting out our vegetable patch and weeding it, showing superb leadership skills in roping others in. I would say 70% of rewardable skills are non academic.

user789653241 · 27/03/2016 19:28

Thank you!

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BetweenTwoLungs · 27/03/2016 20:10

*Can I ask then

You have a child who finds speaking difficult and is never given a part in a play - so they learn to be on stage*

They would never be not given a part - any child who wants a part gets one. We have written some strange parts into the plays we do but if you want a speaking part, you get one. That said, I would not give a child who struggles with public speaking the main part - we just do not have enough rehearsal time to provide the type of encouragement and support that a main role would require for that child. I would create smaller opportunities in class for public speaking to develop. I cannot risk the main part bottling it in a play being performed to lots and lots of parents.

If child A B and C do "jobs" when E F and G can be trusted - but not given a chance

This depends - I have two girls who write out star of the week certificates for the whole school during a Monday lunch time. These two girls have been doing this job all year - I showed them the computer system they have to check to find out who has earnt the certificate for each class, where to get the certificates etc. These girls do this job without fail every week and I give up my lunch to supervise them. They are rewarded for doing this job. There are other children who can be trusted to do this too - but I'm not going to spend time teaching them all to do it just so they can have a go. I don't have time to do that.

That said, across the year, everyone has the opportunity to have a go at some sort of job, and even the ones who might need some support are given the chance to do this. It's just certain jobs I need doing quickly and efficiently - it's not meant to be a learning experience, it's about helping the classroom run effectively.

If a child enjoys sport but isn't very good at it? (Sport should be for all)

We'd take them . We take the ones who are good and the ones who are eager.

*If a child is "not in your face" and not get any attention?
*

There's no child in my class that does not get any attention. I notice each and every single one of them.

I agree that the children I tend to have a real soft spot for are the ones that can find school a bit tough and need a bit of extra love. However, they're not the same children that I pick to do things - for some things you just need someone reliable who will get the job done. sometimes I get asked to organise an assembly with two days notice - if I need children to read in it, I have to pick the ones that I know will just do it without lots of practice goes, as I just do not have time. When I can, I like to make sure everyone has a go who wants to, but sometimes it's just not possible .

ArmchairTraveller · 27/03/2016 20:18

' I would say 70% of rewardable skills are non academic.'

Just the skills that make a person a more interesting and decent human being. With a bit of imagination and out-the-box thinking, it's possible to have a whole class that recognises the many ways it's possible to have your skills and talents recognised and celebrated. That jumping through the academic hoops isn't all that counts.

ArmchairTraveller · 27/03/2016 20:20

Pair work is useful too. Chatty confident one paired with a silent, responsible one to take a message.

clam · 27/03/2016 20:23

Betweentwolungs So, after putting in all that commendable effort to include all those children, who do you feel when you read on MN that "only kids of the pta get parts?"

clam · 27/03/2016 20:36

Sorry, I meant 'how' not 'who.'

user789653241 · 27/03/2016 20:47

"only kids of the pta get parts?"
Can you quote me who ever made that statement please?

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clam · 27/03/2016 20:54

Do you know what? No, I won't, because I can't be bothered to justify this nonsense

Once again, I'm out.

craftyoldhen · 27/03/2016 21:13

This sort of thing does vary by school. DD's old school used to always pick the same group of children to take part in things like after school activities, events and special trips. It was a runing joke amongst thr parents. They're not the kids of parents on the PTA but they are confident, outgoing, smiley people pleasers so probably the easy option TBH.

My DD has SN, she has very poor self esteem, no confidence and struggles a lot. She knows the same children get picked and she never does, and this really doesn't help her feelings of self worth.

We moved her to a new school early this year and her new school are much more inclusive. The teachers seem to go the extra mile to make sure all children are included.

user789653241 · 27/03/2016 21:14

Yes, that's fine, but I never said that, for record. Yet you kept quoting my comment and attacking me. I just wondered why, even there were other posters, and I was only talking about my ds's school, not other schools or teachers in general.

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BetweenTwoLungs · 27/03/2016 21:17

clam it just reminds that that parents view school through one child's eyes, whereas I have to try and think about all 30.

I think sometimes it might happen but it's so wrong to tar us all with the same brush when I've never come across any teacher who behaves that way.

I had one little girl one year who was fab, needed a bit of a confidence boost so I picked her for a lot. Her mum was AWFUL, but it didn't stop me picking her because I didn't like her mum. So I'm hardly just going to pick the kids of parents on the PTA. Give me some credit - im better at my job than that.

clam · 27/03/2016 21:36

I think you and I are arguing the same point here!

user789653241 · 27/03/2016 21:45

Irvine: blah blah.
clam: bollocks.
Irvine: ?
clam: can't be bothered.

Very disappointed. Sad

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clam · 27/03/2016 21:55

Think that just about sums it up.
Not sure why you started the thread, to be honest.

user789653241 · 27/03/2016 22:03

The reason I started thread... I already said. I just didn't get why my opinion was dismissed as "bollocks" by someone who doesn't know me and my ds's school, even though I never said it happens everywhere or all the teacher does this.

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