I know we're always doing threads like this but how on earth do you cope with teaching full time and your own family?

[parrotonmyshoulder]

Not to mention any relaxation time or time with your partner if you have one?

I cried for two hours last night (not a very productive use of time!) then went to bed at 9pm. It's only day 3 of the half term! I just cannot physically do the hours needed to do the job AND care for my small children. I just can't.

Childcare is fine - they're at school/ nursery with wrap around - but when I get them home at 5.30-6pm, it's just a round of tea, bath (when required), stories, bed, lots of which is ruined by me being so exhausted that I'm impatient, a bit shouty, cross and horrible.

I am never like that in school. I hate the fact that my children get the worst of me. And on top of this, there is stacks of work mounting up that I cannot find time to do. I work 8-5 in school and do not take breaks. I just can't bring more home and do it once the kids are in bed.

I get work emails up to midnight from SLT and other colleagues, so I know that they are working that late. Often on threads like this, people will say they cope fine with the workload - going on to add that they work 8-10pm or something after the kids are in bed. I CAN'T do this.

This is a nice school. With good people in it. I'm probably not being asked to do anything unreasonable! Plan, teach, assess, record, meetings, IEPs, parents, behaviour plans etc. All normal. But still too much.

I've been full time since Easter (current permanent job since June). Own DC are little - 3&6.

I feel better this morning after a reasonable night's sleep. The day to day job is great - very challenging (special needs school), with a good team. No chance to cut down days - and even if I could, the day 'off' would be spent working.

I don't want to become depressed. I don't want my own children to lose their childhood.

Having done the full-time Special Needs teacher as a single parent with two children for years, you have my sympathy. Special Needs teaching has different stresses than mainstream (in my experience). Lots of up-close/intense working compared to standing/sitting further away from a larger group of pupils. Lots of eye-contact up close/constantly watching pupils ' faces as you're trying to evaluate what they're taking in/their reactions to it (particularly with non-verbal/limited communication pupils).

Often physically demanding, much more 'hands-on'. Highly repetitive at times, trying 1001 different ways to teach the same concept. You may have a smaller amount of pupils, but the planning can be worse as everything is highly differentiated. I used to be celebrating if I had two pupils on the same work, and it would be short-lived as one of them would then be off ill, or not cope with it. It's emotionally draining too, and very difficult to switch off from.

The ways I coped were to always try to go out at lunchtime for a bit. It gave my eyes a break, and even sitting in my car for 10 minutes in silence helped me wind down ready for the afternoon. I finished earlier two days a week so I could spend time with my children, and worked late the other nights. Batch-cooked meals (and didn't give myself a hard time if I wasn't always cooking from scratch). Slow cooker was great too.

I did 'homework' at the table while my kids did theirs. Things that didn't need much thought (making resources/laminating) could be done while we watched TV together, or the children were playing. Tumble dry as much as possible, reduces ironing.

When planning for the term (in the holidays) I searched for all the Web links for sites/resources/media clips I would need and put them in, this cut down a lot of the day-to-day looking for things that was so time - consuming when I was tired.

You're fairly new in this position/school, so you'll still be finding your feet, it's no wonder your tired. Hopefully as you settle in you'll get into the swing of it and have more balance.

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I'm not a teacher, but saw this in the active threads.

I find it staggering how teachers are treated now and it is clearly not sustainable. Childless teachers have it hard enough, with a young family it must be relentless. I am full of praise for you all.

I'm a head and my advice to my own staff, who vary in age and family responsibilities but the majority of the teachers have children, is to come and talk to me if they are feeling overwhelmed. There have been a lot of negative comments on here about SLT, maybe justified but really sad. It is a hard job, no one can argue with that, it is emotionally, physically and mentally exhausting. No two days are the same and there are many demands made that are ultimately pointless. My staff know I will listen and help if I can. I haven't got a magic wand but, they tell me, it helps knowing that I will listen, won't patronise and will try to alleviate some of the stress, if only in the short term. We will give staff extra time in school to do tasks which are 'extra' they can take PPA at home, I really don't mind what they do with the time as long as the job is done. They have notice for observations and they are part of a developmental process, no grades, just strengths and areas for development, which is the same for all teachers. We look at how to support areas for development. We free up planning teams for half a day a fortnight to do planning, moderation etc. We work in a difficult area, we don't have loads of money but we do talk...my door is open and sometimes the conversations are full and frank but in my opinion the only way things change is when you talk. I know a lot of heads struggle ...usually because they have no one to talk to!

Rainbowcolours1 Thanks for posting that - it's so nice to hear that some schools are managed well, and observations are used for the purpose intended, rather than a stick to beat teachers with. I'm thinking of getting back into teaching - I used to love it when I worked in a nice school, and I know the key is finding a well-managed school - it's hard to work out from an interview though.

I didn't cope in my school. I say 'my school' because I know there is a school out there which would allow me to work full time AND have a good work/life balance. But I do think it depends on the SMT of the school and how hard THEY work to ensure staff are happy and have time to themselves and are not forced to do endless paper work tasks. But I will stick up for SMT and say that they too are having a hard time and like they push us to our limit, they too are being pushed to their limits.

I was full time for 14 years. I was even full time for 2 years with a small child. It was hard but when I became pregnant with my second child, the work load intensified dramatically. I took a leave of absence before going on maternity leave and now I am going back part-time.

Professionally, I am going to hate it. I am job-sharing and I like the 'sole responsibility' of teaching a class. Personally, it is the best decision which far outweighs my 'desire' to have a class to myself. I have two young children who are important and need my time and presence in their early years and I want to be there too. I had 2 options and took the most important - MY children.

I am slowing down my career for now, despite being happy as a classroom teacher and having no desire to go for management, and I can pick it up later when the children are at an age when they are able to cope with me not having a physical presence in their life as much; IF that time ever comes.

Teaching at the moment is not a career choice I would take if I was starting at the very beginning. I would listen carefully to how it is being portrayed in the media and listen to unions and teachers and the attitude the government have to educationalists. It is all negative. But I am here. I worked hard for where I am today and I am not giving up!

Why does music not require any marking

(I teach music too)

At parents' evening this week, some reception parents told teachers that they were 'impressed' that the teachers had been logging on to the online system and replying to parents' comments at midnight on a Saturday.

Impressed???? I would be mortified and very concerned if my daughter's teacher was doing that.

I'm currently in my NQT year and struggling with the workload. I have 3 small dc, all in primary school.

I really enjoy being in the classroom, and want to do my best for the children. But today I have marked two sets of books, and have another set to mark before I go to bed. Tomorrow, dh is going abroad on business for 4 days and I will need to plan pretty much all day to stay on top of my lessons.

Everyone says it gets easier after the first couple of years - I hope so! I love my school and the children and staff are great, generally. It's just the workload. I am so tired.

The way we cope is pretty much to buy childcare. We have a nanny who looks after the children during term time, and does some housekeeping too. The cost is pretty much on a par with my take-home wage and yes, I do sit at my desk sometimes and wonder what the hell I am doing and why am I doing it?

Long term ambition would be to get a job closer to home, and/or possibly part-time.

I love love love spending the holidays with dc though. I never had that before I moved into teaching, so I really appreciate those times.

I am really worried about this. I'm 16 weeks pregnant and having huge doubts about continuing my career after my baby is born. I am a nursery teacher and only work mornings but have recently been made SLT through another member of staff taking long term sick leave. I have my own curriculum responsibilities (more than the rest of my colleagues because I'm only PT therefore clearly have more time on my hands ) plus PIAP responsibilities thanks to Estyn being in before summer holidays. Now I have the other teachers' PIAP responsibility as well as her leadership duties. With only my work plus my class I was still staying till 4 (don't get paid after 12) and working evenings and some weekends. I can't see how I can possibly bring up a child without missing it's childhood.

I don't want to have to put other children first above my own, but I'm already doing it now in my pregnancy. Carrying distressed children, soothing poorly ones, being around children who are contagious because their parents haven't thought to inform school (impetigo and chicken pox??)

It's a shame because I'm good at my job and I love it, but I don't see how I can possibly juggle both...

I mainly teach primary music so there is no marking there. I do ad hoc assessments in class at the end of units and keep a track of where the pupils are. In all my secondary classes they do work booklets which have sheets in that we mark in class and then I do assessments which are ongoing. I write half termly comments and targets for them.

I teach at an inner city comprehensive, high SEN, high deprivation area and am also struggling. I agree with mostly everyone. The workload is unmanageable and exhausting.

I can say with total honesty that I don't get a minute on my own during school hours. I arrive at 7:45 (after leaving my young DC at my parents home - I'm lucky) and leave at 4:30-5 most nights. Apart from toilet breaks some days I don't even pee I kid you not I have pupils with me constantly. Anxiety, children dealing with grief, CP issues, pupils that 'need' someone to listen to them - I cannot turn them away. It's a very needy area and as a result, when I'm knackered with work piling up, I ponder on the sad realisation that these pupils get the best of me, to the detriment of my own DC.

I'm awake since 2:30 - youngest DC poorly and full of cold, but my mind is ticking with lists, marking and monitoring. I won't return to sleep and this isn't a rare occurrence for me. I am desperate to work 2.5-3 days but DH talks of retiring next year and it's not doable.

I trust my SLT and they have my utter loyalty, despite how hard they push us. I live in endless worry that they'll see too many unmarked books in my classroom though.

I feel for you OP. For us all!

I have been too busy to return to my own thread!

Some sad and worrying tales here. Thanks for sharing them all. I've been awake most of the night - sleepless DC who have been ill so needing me at night, too much work stuff in my head but not enough time to do it, and I'm at the stage where I'm too tired after a day at school to do the extra to keep up.

I've wangled a whole day PPA tomorrow, to be taken at home. That'll be a great help if I manage to avoid household admin like making appointments. We're in the middle of a very stressful house move too...