I know we're always doing threads like this but how on earth do you cope with teaching full time and your own family?

[parrotonmyshoulder]

Not to mention any relaxation time or time with your partner if you have one?

I cried for two hours last night (not a very productive use of time!) then went to bed at 9pm. It's only day 3 of the half term! I just cannot physically do the hours needed to do the job AND care for my small children. I just can't.

Childcare is fine - they're at school/ nursery with wrap around - but when I get them home at 5.30-6pm, it's just a round of tea, bath (when required), stories, bed, lots of which is ruined by me being so exhausted that I'm impatient, a bit shouty, cross and horrible.

I am never like that in school. I hate the fact that my children get the worst of me. And on top of this, there is stacks of work mounting up that I cannot find time to do. I work 8-5 in school and do not take breaks. I just can't bring more home and do it once the kids are in bed.

I get work emails up to midnight from SLT and other colleagues, so I know that they are working that late. Often on threads like this, people will say they cope fine with the workload - going on to add that they work 8-10pm or something after the kids are in bed. I CAN'T do this.

This is a nice school. With good people in it. I'm probably not being asked to do anything unreasonable! Plan, teach, assess, record, meetings, IEPs, parents, behaviour plans etc. All normal. But still too much.

I've been full time since Easter (current permanent job since June). Own DC are little - 3&6.

I feel better this morning after a reasonable night's sleep. The day to day job is great - very challenging (special needs school), with a good team. No chance to cut down days - and even if I could, the day 'off' would be spent working.

I don't want to become depressed. I don't want my own children to lose their childhood.

I'll take the bait ... Mrsultra- what do you teach and what did you do before.
I had a career as and IT analyst and travelled the world with deadlines etc but never have I felt so stressed as I have been as a teacher, single mum and housekeeper!!!

Thanks, and I know I'm not the only one who feels and struggles like this. It's the lack of time and attention for my own kids that I'm struggling with.

I don't want to spend their later childhoods regretting giving my time to other kids! But I LOVE my job and the children I work with.

MrsUltra is, I believe, a supply teacher, who has never held a permanent teaching position, with the multitude of additional responsibilities, complexities, pressures and workload that it brings.

Nothing wrong with being a supply teacher (been there, done that) but in terms of a discussion about how to cope as a working parent in a full time teaching post, then a supply teacher's perspective isn't really relevant or helpful as it is a world away from what the OP is experiencing.

And I can't really offer any positive advice, as I have recently resigned a permanent Primary class teacher post for exactly the reasons you've stated. In the 'why are so many teachers leaving' thread I posted my number one reason for leaving as being...
Workload.
I can't do all the planning, marking, assessing, meetings, IEPs, website, homework, CAF paperwork, interventions, inputting data, working walls, resourcing, clubs etc that it is decreed I need to do in order to not be labelled as 'requiring improvement' and have any semblance of a family life during term time. I can't be an even vaguely decent parent to my 2 secondary aged children or partner because I don't have the time or energy. Something had to give, and it's the job that's going, not my family.

I think it's possible with lots of additional family support, and definitely if you work part-time, and are prepared to work/plan/assess on your days 'off', leaving you more times at weekends and on some evenings. But full time? I couldn't do it. Sorry.

Oh God, thanks for sharing your experience. I've reduced my perfectionist tendencies hugely and am not aiming to be 'outstanding' in any way, but it's impossible to just do the basics, I think.

My contract states 32.5 hours x 39 weeks!!!

We have no local family. But even If we did, I would still want to be the one putting them to bed, doing homework and such like.

Reading with interest as I teach ft in the sixth form sector and am not coping, have been off sick today as lost my voice (one week after half term. ...great) and on medication for anxiety. Have one dd just 2 so feel like it will only get worse as she gets older and we possibly have more. I work a couple of hours every evening after she's in bed and still can't keep up, I am doing the bare minimum and still finding it impossible and doing a crap job as a mum too I do not know what the answer is, the only thing I can think of is to go pt, I hope one day we will be financially secure enough for me to be able to do that.
People say that teaching is the perfect career of you want a family but I really would question that. At my workplace of 60 odd teaching staff I only know of one other full timer who is a mum and she is finding it impossible too and has requested to go pt.
It is really hard

There are only three other teachers in my school with primary aged children and they are all part time. The head has a child but her DH works freelance from home.

I'm actually really good at the teaching bit. But the paperwork!

Well, no-one ever looked back fondly on their teacher who was great...at paperwork, so I think you have your priorities straight. I sometimes feel guilty at having to prioritise schoolwork over DD but growing up my DDad was always at work and our relationship is fine. So I have decided it will be fine. Hang in there - you have a job you love and are good at. DC will be influenced positively by that.

Sadly teaching is no longer a job that fits in with family life. I became a supply teacher because I had no work/life balance especially as a single parent. When I was a FT class teacher, I coped by having a cleaner once a week, online shopping, batch cooking on a Sunday morning.I used my lunchtimes and after school for marking, and Sunday afternoon/evening for planning preparation. DC tell me I was unbearable at report writing time. I was always too tired/overloaded with paperwork to go out. Prior to teaching, I spent several years working in an office in the City and was always praised for my efficiency so I don't believe that this overload was due to poor time management. If you have any choice, I would consider asking to go PT.

I do think it depends massively on the school and the subject. I work really really hard all day at work, 5 minutes for coffee twice a day and 15 minutes to eat my lunch but the rest of the time I am working. But I don't have the sheer horrendous amount of marking that a KS2 class teacher would have, or a KS4 English teacher. I do have lots of rehearsals for school productions, nativities, Carol services and concerts to organise which take up an enormous amount of time, but it's 'active' time with the kids, so I enjoy it and know it's part and parcel of the job.
I think it does vary from school to school-my previous school everyone seemed to be drowning in paperwork and stress and they got a 'good' overall in their inspection. In my current school we've just been rated 'outstanding' yet everything is much much calmer.

I'm new to this school - two half terms now - so still getting to grips with their paperwork and way of doing things. It sometimes takes 10 minutes just to find what I need on the server, for example. I'm sure this sort of thing will get easier. I guess I'll learn which corners to cut and so on, but when you're new to a school and are told the expectations, it seems hugely daunting.

Class observations due soon - anxiety provoking but good really as I might actually find out where I'm doing okay and where I'm going wrong!

I haven't much to add to what has already been said but I sympathise!

I teach full time in a sixth form.college so huge pressure for results plus I teach a lot of BTEC so the marking load is huge. I find the actual teaching ok but it's all the extra stuff - open days (we do them on a Saturday), parents evening, after college meetings which can go on until quite late because we teach until 4.15pm, celebration evening, UCAS stuff, reports, running support workshops - I could go on and on!

I try to mark more efficiently using strategies such as the one iguana suggested. I use click and collect for food shopping and send most of the ironing out to be done.

I do end up doing some work once ds is I bed but I'm not productive in the evening as I'm just exhausted by 8pm.

I'm hoping to go part time next year!

6th Form marking must be tough! I must remember how lucky I am not to have that.

On good days, like today, I can think 'I've been in post for less than a term, coped with some serious crap that was going on when I took over, kids are doing amazingly well in all the important ways, who cares how much paperwork I'm managing to do?'. I've had a lovely day with my own DC - did six hours school work yesterday though.

Other days don't feel like that!

Now a teacher, tougher before.

If you are, as other posters have said, a supply teacher who has never held a permanent teaching position, then saying your previous job was harder than teaching is both irrelevent and totally unhelpful!

MrsUltra made herself known on the "Why are you leaving teaching" thread, with her stance of "teachers have only themselves to blame for their workload." Having qualified just over a year ago, and having clocked up one year of supply teaching, she now seems to have everything sussed and knows it all. Class-teachers can resent supply teachers apparently, because the children might make more progress than with them was one of her better contributions, iirc.

So I would disregard her posts on here, if I were you.

I feel for you - it's a conundrum.

I work 4 days a week in secondary and am i'm in charge of a dept (but not HoD). I've moved up from 2.5 days last year to cover some other depts work for a year. I have a form PT and I am struggling. DS and DD are teens and very capable, but they are latchkey kids and that's not great, so far they're coping well and I'm not beating myself up about it, but I do worry. The main issue I have is that the more under-pressure I am, the worse I perform and sleep. I've become a little insomniac and scatty and disorganised under the pressure. The job's started to unravel as have I. I can't balance this many days. Perhaps if I was better organised and 'on it' it could work - and indeed if I did not have DH's income I'd blimmin-well have to cope. I'd have to work full time. I am talking from a privileged position I realise; but next year I am going back down to 2.5 days, already can't wait.

ps the money's great - love having more, but Im doing upwards of 42-45 hours a week and work at weekends and in the hols very often over 4 days. It's too much.

I have been up since 4.30am, couldn't sleep due to replaying latest lesson observation, where I was down graded because my students whiteboard pens stopped working during the activity I was doing and it demonstrated that I was disorganised!! The pens only seem to last 5 mins before they dry up and are useless, but apparently I should predict this!

The continuous checking up on whether we are "good" teachers is starting to get to me, the endless paper work, ticking boxes is beyond a joke.

I was DCL for a year and enjoyed the management aspect but now "just" a classroom teacher who should be grateful for my 1% pay raise and just suck up the 100% increase in workload.

Sorry cant offer any advise, except I trained my daughter to leave me with a cup of tea when I collected her from child minder (she now 17 and independent) then she knew she could have an hours quality time with me before dinner and bed. I have always worked on the evenings for a couple of hours. couple of hours at weekends but never in the holidays.

Management is getting younger and younger because they are seen to have the energy and commitment needed to do the job, experience doesn't count for much. Its all about how many hours you are prepared to be seen to put in, getting to work at 7am leaving at 7pm. You cant do that when you have a family, unless one parent is a SAHP.

Hi, Everytime.

I've been awake since 4.30 too. Every day has been like that since September (except holiday and some Sundays). It's not enough sleep to survive on really, never mind to work efficiently and well on!

Your lesson obs sounds ridiculous. Who are these people to criticise minor details like that? I haven't had one yet in this school - due soon unfortunately. I almost liked them when they were just about how good your lesson was - now it's all the work and planning scrutiny that goes alongside it.

Then there's all the subject management stuff as well. I used to be really good at that - when I got paid for the extra responsibility AND got half an day a week non-contact to do it!

I try to tell myself I'm aiming to just be adequate, just good enough at the job for the children I teach (actually, I'm really good at that bit and I KNOW I am, by all the important - non-measurable- measures).

But my own children...still suffering from grumpy tired mum. Not seeing them in daylight doesn't help of course! The weekend was okay - DH took them out for 4 hours so I could work. It wasn't enough but at least I was able to spend the rest of the weekend with them properly. Except it wasn't much fun as we had house chores to do - but that's normal for everyone of course. We're in the middle of trying to move house, so super stressful.

The pens showed " students didnt have routines that led to good learning".
Yes admit the "questioning" wasnt directed or misconceptions addressed" but the computer
Decided to lose my resource just at the wrong minute. Just as SLT walked through door for spontaneous observation which totally throw me. Oops sorry human and make mistakes under pressure!

Oh that's awul. I like my SLT and I think the head is generally aware that we are always doing our best. She doesn't say this though, and tends to only comment on things that are going wrong. Or that need to be done.

When did it come to this? Unannounced observations! I was a newish teacher when performance management was introduced. We all had brilliant training on peer observations, our young and dynamic SLT were enthusiastic about fairness, mutual support, peer mentoring. 15 years later (and I've been in and out, children, relocation, mostly out of mainstream anyway) and it's this horrible, back stabbing, unsustainable mess.

As individuals I like my SLT but they are under pressure and then it transfers to us at the chalkboard.
All we can do is try our best and try not to buckle under the pressure. Its a real shame teaching has gone this way.
Remember teaching is just a job and if it has to slip a bit so you can enjoy your children then let it.
ps in my experience children understand that its your job that some times makes you grumpy not them. They love you whatever. Will thats what my two adult children tell me know and they survived my teacher training. Single parent stressed out stage!

• well not will!

Why has it come to this?! This is unsustainable. The only people who earn a decent wage in my school don't teach and are employed solely to check up on classroom teachers-book scrutinies, observations, learning walks, climate walks, drop ins-data analysis-it's all they do!

Are they at risk from capability or support plans....? I suspect not.