Awful middle class parents in SW London destroying teachers lives

[zas1]

My DB teaches at a private school in SW London. He desperately wants to leave as he says the expectations of the parents and their constant harassment are destroying his professional quality of life. So so so sad..

[HermioneWeasley]

What is wrong with what I said? I'm sure the pushy parents are a nightmare, but if he hasn't taught in sink schools with children with multiple complex needs, refugee kids with PTSD and kids who bring beer for lunch because their parents are alcoholics who don't give a fuck, then he might not realise that pushy parents aren't the end of the world.

[SurlyCue]

You Surlycue said "this isn't just a parent issue"

Yes, i said "this isnt just a parent issue" do you understand what that sentence means? It means that the parents arent the only ones that are causing the issue. I'm really not sure how you have taken that to mean the parents are absolved of any responsibility.

[GinandJag]

The head teacher needs to grow a pair and protect the teachers from unreasonable parents.

[thebestfurchinchilla]

pud2Bang on! Similar parents in state primary schools in Midlands.

[zas1]

Surlycue I do understand the word just, thanks for that.The point is if the parents weren't causing the issue it would not exist in the first place. And they do genuinely think they can get away with anything. For the nth time he IS trying everything he can to leave and leave the profession and leave London with its stupid house prices and selfish people. I hope for his sake he succeeds soon.

[SurlyCue]

I hope he does too. for your blood pressure if anything.

[Pud2]

It's obviously an emotive issue for you zas1 and it's a shame that the school aren't being more supportive. Maybe your DB would be better in a state school where, on the whole, you get a good mix of parents which dilutes the middle class nonsense. It would be a shame for him to leave teaching altogether because of experience.

[zas1]

I hope he does, not for my blood pressure but because I don't think supine acceptance of a third rate quality of.life in a city which masquerades as one of the best in the world but which is slowly destroying the quality of life of all but the richest is the way to go. The Tory voting SE of England majority are free to disagree.

[EnglishWeddingGuest]

Im trying to understand exactly what these parents have done beyond having high expectations and causing "the issue" - what "issue"? What exactly have these parents done to cause the stress ?

[AgentCooper]

DSis teaches in a primary school in one of the poorest parts of Glasgow, lots of asylum seekers and kids from difficult backgrounds. She says she gets none of this. Quite a few of the refugee parents are nervous at parents' night because they're worried their kids have been bad. Obviously that's not ideal either, parents and kids shouldn't be worrying like that, but lots of these parents are so vocal in their gratitude to DSis. Overly simplistic, maybe, but perhaps if you've got very little you're more appreciative of what you do have.

My nieces and nephews go to (state) sschool in a much posher area of Glasgow. SIL thinks they've got it tough because the PTA have to fundraise so every child in the class has an ipad. DSis finds this ridiculous.

Maybe your DB needs to re-evaluate why he wants to teach, OP, look at areas where he might make more of a difference with this skills and get more satisfaction. Full respect to teachers, it's some job.

[Kennington]

Schools seem to invite parents in a lot more than back in the day so it is unsurprising this is happening.
I met a parent recently who complained to the school about their child's accent. Which would be funny except if you multiply this by all the parents ,and you get the level of hassle teachers deal with daily. I can imagine it is stressful.

[TheApprentice]

Look, I think your view is a bit skewed. As a teacher myself I have every sympathy with you brother bur really, its by no means just the middle classes who act like this. I teach in a very mixed area and a small minority can be very demanding but this does not seem to be linked to their social class - its just an attitude of entitlement and people from all walks of life can have this.

[zas1]

He hates teaching now and hates saying he is a teacher so I don't think he will be staying in it. The issue the parents have caused is they don't see their children have to work as well and not just do sport/drama and socialise. They ask for the earth and dont recognise to get the grades requires the students to work too. Half the school's teachers are on the verge of stress leave/quitting and all the school do is invite high profile speakers and say how great it is. BTW DB is now 6 years younger than our DF was when he died of heart attack brought on by stress. I don't want DB to experience the same for the sake of some little Felicity or Toby's grades.

[AyeAmarok]

You are very, very bitter about MC people Zas, why?

[SisterMoonshine]

I think there us a sort of 'the customer is always right' way of thinking at many private schools
And that is to the detriment of the support of staff

[captainfarrell]

I moved from a state primary with 40% ethnicity, quite a few SEN pupils and mostly working class families. For the most part, parents were supportive and respected teachers. I have moved to a smaller, village , state primary school where all children apart from one are white and i'd say it's 70% middle class. Gosh were my illusions of a quiet village school shattered! Demanding is not the word, arrogant springs to mind and that's just the children

[MrsUltra]

It's the 'DB' who needs to grow a pair, and a backbone.
Teachers all over encounter far worse.
If he has been 'signed off with stress', unlikely he is cut out to be a teacher anyway - luckily he has his sis to cluck over him.

[green18]

Come on now no bullying in the staffroom!

[Foxyloxy1plus1]

Well, it isn't a proper profession any more. Parents in state schools don't see why their children should work quite frequently either and Ofsted etc will always blame the teacher rather than the pupil for lack of progress.

It sounds as though your DB needs to rethink his career. After all, many people have several different careers these days.

[Pud2]

As you say TheApprentice, it is to do with an air of entitlement and this tends to be more prevalent amongst the middle classes. EnglishWeddingGuest, you have to experience it to really understand but it's about parents micromanaging their children and making unreasonable demands. It's also about parents who are overprotective and throw their toys out of the pram when their child isn't chosen for the team/choir/lead part in the play etc. It results in children (and parents) who are unable to deal with negative emotions such as disappointment and failure which is very damaging in the long run.

[BoneyBackJefferson]

MrsUltra

LOL

[EnglishWeddingGuest]

I'm still not understanding exactly what the parents have done to cause his stress - however can I surmise from your post that you are saying some parents don't expect their children to work yet want good grades ? If so then I can't imagine this is a class issue - it's an issue across all aspects of society. Perhaps there are ways of appropriately dealing with parents like this - perhaps his management need to help him develop these skills so it doesn't impact him so much. At my children's school there are the privileged, middle class and underprivileged - it's quite diverse - the teachers there are very adept at dealing with parents - so much so that I think they must hire them based in the EQ and political astuteness

[MrsUltra]

I have heard it said on here a few time that indies tend to hire ex-indie teachers as they are less likely to be intimidated by well-spoken parents.
Maybe steer clear of indies - OP?

[Badders123]

Well.
It's a private school.
The parents are paying for a service and if they don't get it (or their interpretation of it) then yes, they will complain!
It's not like state schools where you just have to suck up poor teaching, poor Sen provision and poor exam results.
Perhaps your bro should teach in state schools where "parents don't give a shit"?

[GruntledOne]

Wildly generalising much?