Awful middle class parents in SW London destroying teachers lives

[zas1]

My DB teaches at a private school in SW London. He desperately wants to leave as he says the expectations of the parents and their constant harassment are destroying his professional quality of life. So so so sad..

[Anastasie]

Not in London btw - and not a private school!

I'm not making a judgment on the OP's situation, just adding my own experience.

[Anastasie]

There were some very very fussy parents at a school we went to; the school would organise trips and there was always at least one family that objected to the trip, on moral or educational grounds (Tesco behind the scenes visit for example) - it got so so tiring, it was an excellent school, but a small one, and there was very little it did that would have harmed the children but still, the thing about wanting to control what happened there in minute detail became totally OTT.

I am sort of glad to have left tbh. And I felt sorry for the teachers who were clearly doing their best.

[Indole]

I live in SW London and I'm not wealthy but nor am I poor. I've always got on very well with my child's teachers and some of them are now friends. We're not all dreadful entitled braying lunatics!

[christinarossetti]

I think it's probably more money messing with people's sense of entitlement, tbh.



Plenty of poor people in London very in touch with reality.

[tomatodizzy]

I used to live in SW London, I have also lived all over. In all those places I lived SW London was hands down the most stuck up place I came across. While I agree that you find it everywhere, I don't agree that it's the same everywhere. One in ten people are like that in other places, compared to about one in five in SW London. I think the pollution messes with people's sense of reality.

[EnglishWeddingGuest]

Agreed Christina - loads of wonderful teachers - I wrote that poorly - was clumsily trying to make the point that you even get the parent working together with teacher to support each other and the student rather than blaming each other

[christinarossetti]

There are lots of great teachers who make lots of positive difference to the lives of many children.

It's inaccurate to say that they come along 'every now and then'.

[derxa]

And every now and then there will be a fabulous teacher who works with a supportive parent and makes a different to a student in need ...

[EnglishWeddingGuest]

And some teachers are not up to scratch nor care about their students and believe that their inability to be successful is someone else's fault and are not prepared to actually do their job

And you are going to get the uppity parents who think Little Johny is the next Prime Minister and anything you do is too little and that Johny's average results are your fault and not because Johny isn't prepared to work hard and learn and take responsibility for himself

It goes both ways

You can't control others - blaming others is futile - take control of your own situation either by changing you (learning skills to cope) or changing it (getting a different job) because there will always be ineffective teachers, pushy parents and disinterested students

And every now and then there will be a fabulous teacher who works with a supportive parent and makes a different to a student in need ...

[IguanaTail]

One? There are hundreds of threads slagging off teachers!

[Millionprammiles]

Imagine if someone started a thread "Awful teachers ruining parents lives with last minute expectations for cakes and craft homework projects and constant harassment for dress up days ruining quality of life".

Oh wait, I think there might have been one along those lines...

[andthasafact]

By the way Zas,
I think it's great that you are concerned for your bother.

[andthasafact]

You will always get parents who, when something goes wrong, will try to pass the blame onto the school. It is never their fault. Ever.
It has to be something the school did wrong during the day.

It's easier to pass the buck.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

and people are using their freedom of expression to object to OP

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

i am not taking it personally Christina.

[longtimelurker101]

Thing is nightsky, is that back in the 40's and 50's and even to a certain extent the 60's London had a falling population.

Lots of people were moved out of former slum dwellings and into new towns, lots of people moved out of their own accord to newer housing in the suburbs/commuter belt, this was especially true of the wealthy at the time. You must remember that for a good chunk of this time much of London was a bomb site too!

This meant that there wasn't as much demand for housing. Over the last 30 years the trend has changed from people wanting to live in the suburbs and commute to people wanting city living.

There is a reason that the rolling stones were able to live in a flat at the end of the Kings Road as students, and that is cause nobody else did, so it was cheap!

[christinarossetti]

Because OP is free to express herself as she wishes?

Agree that OP hasn't done herself any favours with slagging off Londoners and people who hate people with MH problems in general, although it's a bit silly to take this personally IMVHO.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Why couldn't it just be a complaint about self centred and entitled parents?

Am not from London or middle class btw

[christinarossetti]

Op, I can completely understand how upset you are about your brother. I hope that he feels better soon and finds his way through this.

Unfortunately, mumsnet isn't likely to be a sympathetic audience to complaints about middle class, self-centered and entitled parents.

All the best to you and your brother.

[nightsky010]

OP
I am honestly trying so hard not to see your posts as resentment for the middle classes and rich Londoners and hate / blame placing on the Tories? It just sounds so similar to a lot of posts I've read elsewhere along the lines of voters needing to accept responsibility for deaths which will occur due to Tory benefit / health reforms, especially when you talk about your brother being suicidal.

Can you reassure me this isn't the case?

( I say this as someone who detests the Tory benefit / health reforms and (as previously mentioned) would never vote for them, so I'm really not saying this for political reasons!)

[nightsky010]

Longtimelurker
I see what you mean, but I strongly suspect that anyone not currently affected either owns already and is not trying to move and / or they have a lot of money (in comparison to someone on average wage).

My relative in her late 90's finds it absurd that 'normal middle class people with decent jobs' (like her elder brother had in the 1940's & 1950's) can no longer afford to buy in the centre of London - her elder brother was a Barrister and saved very hard for a townhouse in Knightsbridge which he bought in about 1950... which is now worth £30m+!!! One day we may be complaining to our great grandchildren that you need to be an oligarch to live in Walthamstow! (I do however aknowledge that there are some cheaper bubbles where prices haven't risen as quickly though.)

[Foxyloxy1plus1]

70 hour weeks are common for teachers in state schools.
Harassing emails are not uncommon.
Unsupportive SLT are a regular feature of some state schools. I've had more unsupportive HTs than supportive ones, even when I was part of SLT.
I've wept quietly, away from everyone after being unsupported by one HT.
I've wept quietly after being castigated by a parent who subsequently removed his child from the school.

Teaching's like that. It's probably like that in places all over the country.

If the OPs DB is suffering so much, it's toxic and not the environment for him. I hope he gets out, if that's what he wants and finds a different career. Many teachers are doing just that.

[longtimelurker101]

Well lots of people who have been here for more than the last few years haven't been effected nightsky, maybe thats what I'm getting at.

Sadly, as much as people are praying for the bubble to burst it won't. There will be 10 million people in London in ten years time, housing supply won't keep up with that level of demand.

However things like Crossrail will make it easier to commute.

[zas1]

Well he says a huge number of his colleagues detest their job for the same reason so plural.