Christmas Day walk in Sandringham

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This is such a strange thing....so the royal family walk along a stretch of path every year and people gather to watch them. These people try to talk to the Wales children and give them presents. They are photographing the children, taking selfies, etc. I think the kids are far too young to do this. It is so odd.

How on earth do William & Catherine think this is okay?!

I have children, thanks!
I have been on mumsnet because of them!

Obviously I don’t but from what they have said, if they parent their children that way, that they wouldn’t allow this to happen, they show they have boundaries and would protect their children.

But people also don’t know William and Kate. From what they have done on this occasion, allowing strangers close access to their children, it’s concerning. Yet people are saying it’s fine.

If a mumsnetter posted in AIBU that they let strangers hug their children and allowed strangers to take selfies with them, put them in a situation where strangers are shouting out to them and are attracting them with gifts, but they’re smiling so they believe it’s fine, they would overwhelmingly be told they are unreasonable and to protect their children.

Many, many posters on MN don’t have children, it’s not a pre-requisite of posting here.

Of course I know that.
But you are suggesting I might not have children.
FYI, I do.

I would fully imagine they would no longer do it. Why on earth would you think that wouldn't happen?

W&C have been criticised for many things (and rightly so in some cases IMO, and I don't disagree with some of the criticism re the walk at Sandringham), much of the criticism for not doing some events either as a couple or as a family. They clearly do put their family before duty, so I imagine they would do so in this case if they felt it necessary.

IRL however no one is talking about this, certainly not the parents I socialise with, or co-workers and friends.

I’m not suggesting that. I’m saying that particular poster can’t possibly make a judgement that someone is a good parent (or even any parent) based on a couple of paragraphs on an anonymous forum.

I too have children but I wouldn't think much of anyone who wanted to judge my parenting, whether it be good, bad or indifferent, based on that.

They shouldn’t be put in the situation in the first place. Placing the onus on the children to speak up if they’re not comfortable about this isn’t right. You make the decision as parents and the only appropriate one in this situation for a responsible parent would be to not let your children so close to the crowd and definitely no photos and hugs. Hopefully they’ll realise it was a mistake and it’ll be different next year.

I too have children but I wouldn't think much of anyone who wanted to judge my parenting, whether it be good, bad or indifferent, based on that.

I am glad you agree because a PP has just suggested I might need to find an appropriate adult that my children can trust and express any discomfort they feel. I'm just an ordinary Mum however, not a royal, that comment was too much.

The Wales children are different.
They have to be paraded out to please the British public.

And I think it's too much. Their position is unique and I think William and Kate should evaluate their position on this

Of course I know I am contradicting myself but the expectations on these three young children is unique and too much in my opinion - they are not ordinary children

Placing the onus on the children to speak up if they’re not comfortable about this isn’t right

I agree entirely.

How many times do we see kids as reflective adults not having wanted to rock the boat or being confused and/or conflicted at mixed messages?

It'd be interesting to time travel 12 or so years into the future and see what the royal kids make of this.

Based on what @simpsonthecat has said about it not being appropriate for the children to be close to the crowd, taking selfies with them, hugging strangers, showing concern about it etc, that shows she would be responsible in those situations. Of course she could be lying, but presuming they’re not and that she parents how she says, then a parent who has those boundaries will be protecting them and acting in their best interests. It would be unlikely that a parent would have these views and be completely irresponsible in other areas.

But you’re trying to derail so I won’t reply further about it to you.

William and Kate were not responsible parents on this occasion. They shouldn’t have allowed it and hopefully it won’t happen next year. Some people can not here a word against the Royals and will go to great lengths to justify them being so close to strangers and letting their children hug strangers. It was not a responsible decision and there is no way it can be considered to be one.

I agree with ignoring the derailing.

Nobody can genuinely justify allowing children to have selfies and hugs with strangers. The attempts to do so are ridiculous.

I love the way posters are so affronted when they consider their own parenting may hypothetically being judged, even indirectly, while merrily totally judging the parenting of other people who they don’t know in the slightest!

But you’re trying to derail so I won’t reply further about it to you.

No I don’t think so. I thought I was adding to the discussion on judging of parents based on very little info, something you seem quite happy to do 🤷‍♀️.

More than happy for you not to engage with me further.

I’m not a royalist 😂

Exactly this!
And I’m apparently derailing 😂

Can't disagree with any of that.

Exactly.

They did it publicly.
we might not know them, but the walk was in public. So of course people will judge.

They shouldn’t be put in the situation in the first place. Placing the onus on the children to speak up if they’re not comfortable about this isn’t right. You make the decision as parents and the only appropriate one in this situation for a responsible parent would be to not let your children so close to the crowd and definitely no photos and hugs. Hopefully they’ll realise it was a mistake and it’ll be different next year.

Exactly, it’s very odd some think it’s ok to just let the children express their discomfort.

Yes and no.

Of course there are some (many) situations children shouldn't be exposed to.

But there are also many situations that one child would enjoy, and another child hate.

Plus situations which you think your child would enjoy, but they don't.

Other situations that you think might be mildly uncomfortable but a good learning experience.

A good parent doesn't always shelter their child, in my opinion, but does always listen to their child and not force experiences. Sometimes that means they do something that afterwards they say they don't want to do again. Sometimes it means they do something they aren't sure about and gain confidence and maturity because they find they can handle it, or even enjoy it.

Yes, I encouraged/encourage DD to try (some) things she's not sure about, with my support. E.g. Public speaking, although she has a stammer. She has always had a 'pass' to do e.g. orals one on one with her teacher, but chose to take part in her school's public speaking competition.

In my opinion parents should balance protection with learning - and be guided by their children.

The only people who can judge the impact of the Sandringham Christmas walk are George, Charlotte and Louis. And I hope - no idea one way or the other, but no reason to believe otherwise - that their parents listen to their views for future events.

One of the best pieces of advice - maybe the single best piece of advice? - was that being perfect was bad parenting 😁 because
a - claiming to be perfect was dishonest
b - you set an impossible standard for your child, so they would constantly fail
c - your child would have to fit your mould, instead of being themselves
d - being allowed to make mistakes is essential to find out who you are and what makes you unique

Ugh of course they're christmas walkers

You sound more like someone who wants to close down discussion. Why is that? This is the RF board and posters are discussing members of the RF. You moaned that someone came onto one of your threads, claimed their post wasn’t relevant, said they were derailing and asked if they had anything relevant to add. So right back at you, stop derailing and do you have anything relevant to add to the topic of the Sandringham walk?

It’s strange that posters first tried minimising and justifying, now it’s derailing and trying to shut down discussion. It won’t work. People obviously want to discuss this issue. No one has made you thread monitor have they?

I’m sure posters will find other things to discuss about the RF in the future. Maybe you’ll feel some of those are important. 😉

👏 👏 👏

You make a good point .

In the scheme of things this isn't actually that important (to me or in-fact most people inc those in the real world who had already moved on by Boxing day!) I added my two pennies worth in and was accused of derailing 🥱🙄. Par for the course and really cba with that.