Need to go to a top private school to marry an Aristocrat!

[Missingprincess]

From observing Kate & Pippa, Rose & her sister Marina & lots of other women (& men) who married aristos it seems attending top private schools seems to be a prerequisite. Eg Kate & Pippa went to Marlborough, Rose & Marina Stowe..
Does it happen oftern that an average girl who went to a normal comp from a 2 bed terrace marries into landed gentry?

@eise yes Northwestern is considered very prestigious & also very expensive as it's a private college.
Andy Saks main character in The Devil Wears Prada was Northwestern alumni & it was made out in the movie it was a pretty big deal😁

The issue surely is exposure. I've met one guy who was an aristocrat. Had I been younger, single and gorgeous he might have fallen for my charms and we might have fell in love. Assuming his family didn't take against me od have then been a girl from a working class background married in. But when you consider our shared life experiences, beliefs and values etc it seems unlikely

Just like the Middleton's who also strove to give their kids the best education they could.

I think it's very difficult to be accepted into those circles if you don't belong. I went to a very prestigious uni with a high proportion of private school kids and there was a minor (European) royal on my course but I don't think there was a chance my big standard comp education had a chance of getting on with the really privileged kids, which was fine with me as they weren't very nice

@Missingprincess most american universities are private.

Dd is in those circles and is at state school. I don’t love it I must say some of the public school boys have made comments. I would prefer it if she socialised with state / normal local private school kids but what can you do

@dreadisabaddog there seems to be an unspoken so if that make sense & silent markers. I personally find it fascinating but privilege & old money really sticks together.
I'm sure there are outliers.
As @CurlsnSunshinetime4tea mentioned Autumn Kelly was an outlier, she seemed to adapt to the royal role very well, beautiful children too.

Why the fuck would you?

I was on a degree course with lots of posh people and it was only when one mentioned she was in Harpers & Queen this month, did I notice, nope. I'm happy being loved and scruffy, marry for love and friendship not titles and angst.

How does she get to mix in those circles? Is it through family or extracurriculars? Good for your daughter's social skills to be able to mix with all folk.

Sophie Wessex went to Kent College - up the road from me and several of my friends went there. It's private but definitely not that posh.

Yep they only recognise others of the same kind.

I encountered them all when I started at St Andrews and it was extraordinary, like watching David Attenborough mashed with Jane Austen.

It went like this on day one at teatime in halls:

Stand in queue for food
Conversation about schools
Conversation and what people they knew from what schools
Conservation about godparents - this is absolutely critical.
Establish a table
Stay all rooted together for four years, mostly shagging one another and smoking
Marry
Reproduce
Be each others' children's Godparents

Rinse and repeat.

She has brilliant social skills and is great fun and gorgeous (trying to be objective) so they like having her around. It is another world believe me. Mind blowing

old money absolutely needs to stick together otherwise it will be gone. i believe it's very difficult to keep it beyond 3 generations so for old money to stick it comes with certain rules and expectations (think prenup's, lots of ringfencing, and tax mitigation strategies).
likewise it's tiresome for families to have to fund friends who can't fund themselves so friendship circles where trips/travel can be mutually exchanged is helpful (and i don't think you need to be mega wealthy to understand this). plus after years of travel to unique and varied locations a cottage 200 miles away with no pool is pretty boring unless the company spectacular.
some schools also have legacy grants for family (i believe some usa ivy leagues are getting called up on this issue).
my neighbor is an accountant for a group of mega wealthy families and he helps guide young people on how to manage their own trust funds personal wealth and it's funny hearing the stories.

My cousin married the younger brother of a baronet. She grew up in a semi in zone 6 but got a sports scholarship to Millfield. They both work in finance now. She was actually
fairly middle class as her dad owned a sweet kiosk and did well for the family. My Nan, on my mothers side, who I shared with my cousin was proper working class, living in a council flat, smoking rollies and wearing a pinny until the day she died, and the aristo husband adored her and sobbed really loudly at the funeral 🤷‍♀️

Autumn Kelly grew up in a privileged area of Montréal and went to a very prestigious university. She wasn’t quite in the Trudeau/Mulroney sphere but definitely not from a two up/two down background.

The upper class/rich upper middle class students moved in their own world when I was at university. It wasn't that they came across as snobby or unkind - if, say, you were in a tutorial together or whatever they were perfectly friendly. But they'd be off every weekend to some country house or event.

I expect their socialising would have been far too expensive for the average comprehensive school person like me to join in, even in those long ago days before tuition fees, but in any case there was no route into it - they had their crowd that they moved with and that was it.

That was more than 30 years ago - no idea whether it's still like that.

@VisitationRights come on pointe claire is nothing special it's your bog standard outside big city neighborhood. it's not westmount or mount royal, but no it's not griffentown either.
likewise mcgill, mcgill is historic and nice in that way BUT not at all exclusive.

Growing up in sussex in the 70s & 80s my NDN (3 girls) lives appeared carefree .. I was one of three with 2 brothers so we were 'a gang' in so far as that happens in a rural area..

The three girls were educated at a well respected private from 4-16 .. but at 11/12 mum stepped in and and the state school urchin from two fields down was sidelined (me) whilst mum got on with the programme...

1. Pony club (the right sort of girls.. I was lucky here as there was a spare pony 🤣)

1. Ballroom dancing lessons every week plus practicing !

1. Fencing (no not posts and rails the pointy sticks)

1. Music - Piano in their case .. started young at 5 and no dropping out countenanced.

1. THE MOST IMPORTANT BIT .. 6th form at a big public boys school (they were just starting to accept girls) So off they went.

No. 1 & 2 to Marlborough.. no 3 (my best friend) to Stowe.

Then followed the usual path.. Oxbridge via Operation Raleigh / Duke of Edinburgh gold etc etc...

It was like a military operation worthy of Mrs Bennett from P&P... but Mama had her success.

No1 married a very respected composer internationally famous.
No.2 married a very promising officer she met at sixth form and went on to be one of the most senior officers in the army and is now titles 'lady'..
No.3 was a bit of a rebel and married 'someone in the city' but richer than the other three put together ..

It DOES NOT HAPPEN BY CHANCE.. it's a life's work ..

And now they all have kids .. rinse and repeat. Between just three girls they must have property holdings in excess of £12m... as the saying goes... the rich just get richer...

I joined the communist party in 1983 ..perhaps that was an influence 🤔

I don’t think it’s true but I do think the ones who aren’t matched in terms of class there is often something exceptional about the person eg beautiful/ very successful/ amazing socially

McGill is top 50 globally and ranked higher than St Andrews. It absolutely is a prestigious school. Not as well ranked as UofT but still up there (even better rankings when she attended than now, I think. McGill is declining these days, I wouldn’t have it as my first choice anymore)

Her father was a Hydro Quebec executive and they did live in a nice area. It isn’t Westmount, of course, which is why I said she didn’t grow up in the Trudeau/Mulroney sphere. She did grow up in a posher area and not in a two up/two down.

pretty standard for montreal west @VisitationRights

Yes, a privileged background not a tough and tumble one.

You really can't compare Northwestern to any uni in the uk. It's got a very high acceptance rate and Americans simply don't do class in the same way as Brits. It's not remotely comparable. It's a decent school as are 100s of others in the US. The air is not rarified!

Oh please tell us some of the stories 🤣

I don’t think this is accurate at all. It’s tops over here in US. Not Harvard but an excellent school.