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The royal family

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Happy Birthday, Spare!

886 replies

EncantoSpice · 10/01/2024 11:17

It’s the one year anniversary of the release of Spare, how are you all celebrating?!

In all seriousness, a year on what impact do you think the book has had on the Royal Family and the Sussexes?

In my opinion it clearly did very well commercially but in popular culture it became a bit of a joke. In terms of the RF I’m not sure it made much difference - to people who already didn’t like them it confirmed what they already believed, to people who did like them it was more evidence that Harry was no loss. I also think even a year later it has made reconciliation between William and Harry impossible.

OP posts:
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wildernesssw · 12/01/2024 14:02

The sad reality is thousands of children have to cope with childhood trauma. Abuse, poverty, the death of a parent etc etc

Very few have access to the support Harry had and has. Nor do they have the luxury of having their behaviour excused due to trauma.

Where I work there is a project supporting survivors of abuse. Most are just trying to get on with their lives, and we can help them with that in various ways.

There is a small handful who respond abusively to staff when they are told something they (the service user) doesn't want to hear. Verbal abuse to the staff member, even death threats in a couple of cases. When told this is unacceptable they have resorted to social media to claim that we don;t understand trauma reactions.

We do. Both theoretically, and because some staff have experienced abuse themselves.

But once you are past a certain age (I would say about 20ish) you need to take responsibility for your own behaviour, and not abuse others. Yes, you can be angry, distressed, take time out etc. But you do not have the right to abuse others and justify it by your trauma.

I say that as a survivor of abuse.

Harry does not have a free pass on his behaviour as an adult. His description of the matron, and his grandmother and father's staff (who can't answer back with their opinions of him without consequences for their careers) is abusive.

No-one has a right to try to shut down other opinions, or play 'top trumps', because of their own childhood trauma.

andIsaid · 12/01/2024 14:06

Seems like I have upset someone.

Mumsnet have just told me that if I continue to break guidelines I will be shut out of the site.

Apologies to whomever feels so disrespected by me.

Over and out for now.

Roussette · 12/01/2024 14:33

@andIsaid I'm sorry to hear that Flowers

AliceOlive · 12/01/2024 14:56

I don’t see any deletions but who knows. It all feels rather arbitrary at times.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 12/01/2024 16:12

Roussette · 12/01/2024 13:54

Based on the bits I’ve read it really doesn’t endear me to Harry and it’s a pity as I’d like to be won over

But the 'bits' you've read are most likely from the media he is challenging and account for probably less than 5% of the book. So you have no idea about the book, honestly not.

I’ve read reviews online about it. Life in Africa, great tickbox exercise. Trauma from being in RF and a parent dying tick. Media intrusion tick.

I do not need to read his book especially if I’ve seen his Netflix series which I have where it’s him and her droning on.

I can guarantee if I did read the book (I think a friend has it) I’d just be bored but intrigued to a certain degree. He also seems from quotes from the book to be justifying himself or his father’s actions and like I said before therapy speak and loaf of whining.

MrsLeonFarrell · 12/01/2024 16:18

Those who have read the book and found it an interesting account of his life, do you think the title was a good choice? I have often wondered whether the title created a specific, rather narrow, narrative that did the actual content a bit of a disservice.

Roussette · 12/01/2024 16:25

MrsLeonFarrell · 12/01/2024 16:18

Those who have read the book and found it an interesting account of his life, do you think the title was a good choice? I have often wondered whether the title created a specific, rather narrow, narrative that did the actual content a bit of a disservice.

I don't think the title was a good choice. Not sure what it should've been but even the title incensed people so for me, it wasn't a good idea.

@Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain The book is not just 'whining'. But you would need to read it to get that...

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 12/01/2024 16:27

Roussette · 12/01/2024 16:25

I don't think the title was a good choice. Not sure what it should've been but even the title incensed people so for me, it wasn't a good idea.

@Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain The book is not just 'whining'. But you would need to read it to get that...

You can get the gist of it by reading excerpts online. Paragraphs. A lot of it is whining to me. Telling me stuff I knew or could guess. It doesn’t interest me ergo I’m not going to read it!

AliceOlive · 12/01/2024 16:39

I think Southpark’s title was perfect.

Roussette · 12/01/2024 16:41

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 12/01/2024 16:27

You can get the gist of it by reading excerpts online. Paragraphs. A lot of it is whining to me. Telling me stuff I knew or could guess. It doesn’t interest me ergo I’m not going to read it!

How much do you think you've read? I'm curious. If you've just read the bits reported in the MNG media or wherever, it's about 5% of the book. If that.

Your prerogative not to read it of course, but I couldn't critique a book in full that I hadn't read..... !

INeedAnotherName · 12/01/2024 16:52

The point of excerpts in newspapers etc is to try and draw you in to reading the rest of it. It's supposed to highlight the good and interesting bits, similar to film and TV trailers. I read Diana's and Fergies books due to the excerpts doing their job by making you want to read more. His didn't, it came across as dull, boring and self-pitying, very similar to the Oprah show imo. Which was a shame, as I found his mother's very interesting.

Oh, and those excepts from the Courtiers book that was serialised afterwards has made me want to read the rest. Funny how similar "adverts" worked in three out of the four books, wonder if it's due to the content 🤔

ArcaneWireless · 12/01/2024 17:13

I don’t think it was a good choice of title.

To me, it just seemed to insinuate that there was bitterness, or perhaps jealousy, that he didn’t have the privilege of being born first - even though he seemed very privileged indeed to those looking in.

I think it set the narrative about the possible content of the book. As perhaps did the steely stare. It looked defiant - maybe arrogant? - to me.

I don’t know what it should have been either. But maybe a picture of him laughing or smiling might have been better, with a title nodding towards his happiness at having all he’d been searching for, might have struck a different note.

Notmyhair · 12/01/2024 17:20

Rockybooboo · 12/01/2024 10:01

Hey that's not even my post. What have I got to be careful of?

Oh dear.......

let me explain ...@Roussette complained that using the word superfan or fan is getting personal

"And I would be grateful if you would stop being personal and calling me a superfan. "

then you several posts after that used the word superfan so I was saying be careful as @Roussette could also claim you were being personal.🙄

Notmyhair · 12/01/2024 17:30

andIsaid · 12/01/2024 13:35

The themes in the book are broad - it was not naval gazing.

Grief and childhood trauma.

War and trauma.

The role of the press in our society.

As an aside - the weirdness and wonder of growing up royal.

You should try it - the book I mean, not the trauma orgrowing up royal! 😁

Naval gazing - how funny 😂

MaturingCheeseball · 12/01/2024 17:45

I agree that Spare wasn’t a great title. Catchy, yes, but duh - of course he is the “spare” in a hereditary monarchy, or at least the second-born in a system in which first-born takes all. The same for titled/landed families. Charles Spencer is sitting in Althorp, it was not shared between all the children of old Earl Spencer. Traditionally oldest son copped the lot, second son the army, third the Church… as for the girls - well, it’s Mr Darcy or Mr Collins.

I know Harry thought he was equal, and I’m sure he was in terms of love and attention (maybe not sausages and bedrooms) but surely, surely he was familiar with history? Unless, as some claim, he genuinely thought he could be “joint monarch” .

MrsLeonFarrell · 12/01/2024 17:48

Roussette · 12/01/2024 16:25

I don't think the title was a good choice. Not sure what it should've been but even the title incensed people so for me, it wasn't a good idea.

@Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain The book is not just 'whining'. But you would need to read it to get that...

That's part of why I don't think it was a good choice, it created a narrative that Harry's whole life was about being born second, which I don't think is fair. It gave the tabloids an unfortunate angle from the off and even reviews I read in papers like The Guardian were picking up a tonne from the title that I'm not sure he intended.

I don't know what I would suggest instead, maybe "Harry" would have worked better?

Rockybooboo · 12/01/2024 18:08

I think.th book exposes what a shifty out.of date system a hereditary system. We've got its waste of space for a king. It's a shame we can't have someone like Alan Bates as Head of State. Someone with integrity and courage but instead we got Charles.

derxa · 12/01/2024 18:14

Rockybooboo · 12/01/2024 18:08

I think.th book exposes what a shifty out.of date system a hereditary system. We've got its waste of space for a king. It's a shame we can't have someone like Alan Bates as Head of State. Someone with integrity and courage but instead we got Charles.

I like Charles. He’s done a lot of good in his life. Alan Bates would not be interested in being king. Stop jumping on bandwagons.

AliceOlive · 12/01/2024 18:17

Rockybooboo · 12/01/2024 18:08

I think.th book exposes what a shifty out.of date system a hereditary system. We've got its waste of space for a king. It's a shame we can't have someone like Alan Bates as Head of State. Someone with integrity and courage but instead we got Charles.

I think it’s vile to call someone a waste of space.

Rockybooboo · 12/01/2024 18:43

AliceOlive · 12/01/2024 18:17

I think it’s vile to call someone a waste of space.

sorry I forgot he is a very good friend with several sex offenders. Even offers them.a place to live after they've confessed.

Rockybooboo · 12/01/2024 18:46

derxa · 12/01/2024 18:14

I like Charles. He’s done a lot of good in his life. Alan Bates would not be interested in being king. Stop jumping on bandwagons.

Haha as opposed to the I hate Harry bandwagon. Do you Alan Bates personally? I mean I don't and you could be right but there's still a ton of people who would make a better monarch.

ArcaneWireless · 12/01/2024 18:57
Fx Networks GIF by What We Do in the Shadows

Coo, coo, ca-choo, Mrs. Robinson

👋🏽 to Juliet. Hope you are fine 🧛🏽‍♀️

Rockybooboo · 12/01/2024 19:00

ArcaneWireless · 12/01/2024 18:57

Coo, coo, ca-choo, Mrs. Robinson

👋🏽 to Juliet. Hope you are fine 🧛🏽‍♀️

I haven't a clue what your on about

AliceOlive · 12/01/2024 19:04

Rockybooboo · 12/01/2024 18:43

sorry I forgot he is a very good friend with several sex offenders. Even offers them.a place to live after they've confessed.

Who is that @Rockybooboo

Lockupyourbiscuits · 12/01/2024 19:12

It’s funny that Harry never complained about being second born ( with all the privileges ) until the Queen said no
Since then he’s gone full on Fatal Attraction “ I won’t be ignored!!”
It’s pretty obvious he’s completely shocked at finding himself where he is and it’s obviously someone else’s fault

The title is a reflection of his tantrum - waaaagh as correctly identified by South Park who have very perceptive writers - spot on !