Prince Harry

[Torquoise]

Hello,
My account and thread along with its 37 or so comments was deleted without explanation and now the account reinstated. I've received no explanation despite multiple queries. I wonder sometimes if this is progress - clicking 'delete' and taking offence at every turn without inquiring first.
Anyway, the original post was discussing this link: https://meron152.substack.com/p/prince-harry-the-trauma-exhibitionist
What exactly was controversial in the link or the comments from users here? I can never tell anymore.

I don't take offence. But the article is very dismissive of an individual's very real trauma, and is therefore very distasteful.

The issue with the article is the term trauma exhibitionist. It is apparent that the author does not like Harry. This unfortunately leads the author to make sweeping generalisations about therapy, PTSD and trauma that are actually damaging to people with mental health problems. I would like to ask the author several questions - what is an acceptable period of time to struggle with traumatic life events, do you think that PTSD in veterans is something that can be initiated by trauma in an already mentally fragile state of mind, do you think that people who shut up about their traumas are better than those who don’t, do you think that the stiff upper lippers are doing better in life?

Regardless in answer to your question as to why your previous thread was withdrawn - it was very apparent that the thread attracted people who are, let me say, uncharitable in their criticisms of Harry. Enough that I took one look and exited stage left and noticed later on that it had been removed. Also are you the author of that substack? There might be an issue with linking to your own work too (but this is me speculating).

I commented on the last thread before it got deleted but I'll have another go.

Everyone is aware of PH trauma and it's quite clear the affect that this has had on him and on the whole I would say most people, unless they have a heart of stone, are sympathetic to that. However, IMO when you speak about personal trauma very publicly there is a line where actually it starts being too much/counter productive.

He has has been given several high profile platforms, certainly over the last two years or so, in which he has felt free enough to be able to speak out and at the start people were mostly supportive of him and could see the benefit to others. The flip side of that is if you continue to publicly reflect on your traumatic past and casting blame for your lot in life at every opportunity it becomes more about helping yourself and doesn't become a positive force for others. IMO he speaks too much in the negative about who/what hasn't helped him than who/what has helped him over the years so he just comes across as a self absorbed millionaire for whom access to the best therapists obviously haven't helped him much, therefore what hope is there for us normal everyday Jo/Joe with similar issues.

I have always been interested in mental health and I volunteer at a mental health community group in my area and have done for many years and certainly in the last 12 months or so I am hearing more 'enough already' 'we get it' from attendees to the group and I can't say I disagree.

Just for the record my posting this on here is not just just because I'm not a fan of PH it's because I have an interest in MH and like to discuss it and if there was a thread on Kanye West I'd likely be on that too 😊

For anyone interested in MH I can thoroughly recommend Ruby Wax's book 'I'm Not As Well as I Thought I Was'.

I love Ruby Wax for speaking out a lot about her mental health. Ditto Alistair Campbell.

Are they both 'trauma exhibitionists' too?

Horrible term. Horrible article.

They have both written books talking about the breakdown of their mental health. And both spoken a lot on TV about their struggles. Far more than Harry. There was a fantastic interview a while back with Alistair Cambell and his daughter both openly talking about what he was like when he was in a black hole. It was so interesting to hear how it was for the rest of the family. She lived in the shadow of his depression and as a young girl took it is a personal attack on her. She has even bought her own book out.

Stormzyina Do the attendees in your MH group discuss them too, and say 'enough already' or is it only Harry who shouldn't be talking about his MH. I'm surprised they single just him out for criticism.

Many many famous people have talked about their bipolar, their postnatal depression, their breakdown of mental health, eating disorders and more. I welcome their openness. I welcome Harry talking about his struggles.

skullbabe nailed it.

@Roussette I have to say I have not come across that particular term before on my travels and I don't particularly like it.

That being said there are plenty of people out there who actually are happy to talk about their trauma and talk about the positives of therapy but don't/won't actually seek it out for themselves (or will make a token attendance and then quickly drop out) and there are multiple different, usually deep rooted, reasons they don't/won't.

'Do the attendees in your MH group discuss them too, and say 'enough already' or is it only Harry who shouldn't be talking about his MH. I'm surprised they single just him out for criticism.'

They discuss whichever 'Celebrity' happens to be relevant and in the news at the time (some funny convos can be overheard when someone is flicking through a copy of Heat magazine!). I think they would certainly talk about AC or Ruby Wax in the same way under similar circumstances (but the way PH has acted and things he has said on other matters since he has found 'freedom' doesn't help his cause ). I would think it's likely RW and AC don't want that kind of media exposure(over exposure) anyway and choose to limit themselves for their own mental well-being. Just my thoughts.

I just find it a bit odd that attendees at a group get together brought about because of MH struggles criticise those in the public eye who talk of their struggles!
Being famous doesn't make you immune to MH problems.
I imagine, or hope, it's just chit chat as opposed to direct criticism

Just my thoughts too!

It's an awful title and not helpful to anyone with mental health struggles

I completely agree. I'm also fairly confident that one or two people talked about it and the others stayed quiet or did an "uh-uh" nod. As always, the critics tend to be small numbered but louder and that is turned in to "everyone agreed"

It is people speaking publicly about mental health that makes it easier for people generally to talk about it. If that encourages even one person, particularly blokes who are less likely to talk, to come forward when they are struggling how can it ever be enough?

With male suicides being such a high level, more voices are needed to let people know they can talk.

I’ve been in mental health ‘groups’ and I found the people in the groups identified with famous people who have made known they are, or were, struggling with mental
health issues.

It’s confirmation that it can happen to anyone, that we all have struggles in one way or another. I’ve never heard a person in group say ‘oh they are so wealthy, how dare they talk about their anxiety or depression.’ Indeed, I was always grateful when a prominent person spoke out. Especially if they were struggling with the same type of mental health struggles.

Experiences differ, I’m just giving my thoughts based on my experience. I will of course bow down to other peoples experiences as being of higher worth than mine because, of course, by default I’m not on the right ‘side’

@Roussette just because a group of people share something in common with another, in this case PH/mental health, does not and should not put that person beyond any criticism. Unless of course, which I find hard to believe, you would prefer for example war veterans not to speak out in the negative about PH and that they should keep quiet just because they have the same issue in common?

He quite clearly said that " no one could help" not that they would help so I'm not sure this statement was meant to bash his family

Your thoughts are always valuable

I think it's a really good thing that people talk more about trauma and mental health now.

I had severe mental health issues when I was younger and addiction struggles. When I was recovering it was difficult because people didn't talk about those things. I felt like I had to hide a whole portion of my own past.

Now, I don't talk about these things to all and sundry of course but it is nice not to have to feel as ashamed anymore.

Yes, there is also a rise in male suicide so surely making it easier for young men to talk is always a good thing

Looking at someone and thinking "they have everything but are still struggling" takes some of the stigma away

Now, I don't talk about these things to all and sundry of course but it is nice not to have to feel as ashamed anymore.
I agree @Dramatico it is nice.

.
Looking at someone and thinking "they have everything but are still struggling" takes some of the stigma away .
Yes @Daisyislazy indeed, it does. It helped me. **

It's unspecific enough for haters of the RF in general or any one RF person in particular, to imply that he did mean he was let down by his family, but on the other hand it could simply mean that several family members wanted to help but didn't know how to.

Further on the writer of the article says, "He acknowledges the support from his loved ones makes him very lucky.." and I don't think that was meant to be just recently, was it? Did it include William being concerned and suggesting he had help?

@upinaballoon agreed

I definitely think “trauma exhibitionist” is a loaded term that is designed to denigrate someone with MH issues. That said, H does pass himself off as a MH expert whilst having no qualifications and he pushes some ideas which are not proven. He also promotes very mentally unhealthy behaviours (for example, airing your grievances in public is a destructive not constructive behaviour) under the guise that they are therapeutic, when in fact that’s not the case. The reason he carries out these destructive behaviours though is because of his mental health. It is a conversation worth having but a) I don’t think it’s possible with loaded and shaming terms like that, and b) some on MN will falsely claim any discussion of H’s claims about therapy which do not wholly accept his views as fact is somehow bullying of all people with MH conditions, so discussion is probably not possible on this platform anyway.

Don't know about others, but I don't like to see famous people, or any people come to that, fall apart in public - I'm thinking of Kanye, Britney Spears and Amy Winehouse here. Having said that, I do think that people like Ruby Wax and Alistair Campbell talking about their experiences can be helpful to others. But that's not the only thing they talk about ad infinitum. With Harry, it seems like it is the only thing he can talk about, and as a pp said, "enough already". Ones mother dying is traumatic at any age, but it happens to most of us, and of course he was quite young at the time. But she's been dead and gone for over 25 years now, and surely with all the therapy he should be able to move on now?

With Harry, it seems like it is the only thing he can talk about

But it's not is it? Having listened to a speech/chat he had with the Invictus veterans, it really isnt

Of course it isn't, but jsut to state the obvious, it is a figurative comment, to make a point. 😀 I think most of us get the point.

The poor chap seems a bit lost and he does not help himself many times but I wish him the best.

What a nasty article. I find it difficult to believe that anyone with genuine empathy would use such a phrase to describe somebody. It puzzles me why anyone with empathy would post it.

I’ve also never been involved as either a volunteer or a professional in a group in which it would have been acceptable under various codes of conduct to post about what people had said, even generalised and de-identified, on a public forum. Using that private information to publicly rubbish another person with a similar health problem would also never be acceptable. Clearly others have different ethics around their participation in such groups.

🤦‍♀️

i agree that we can be sympathetic to his struggles, but I don’t think he’s much of a poster boy for therapy. Frankly I don’t know why BetterUp are using him: ok, it brought them publicity at first, but if I were looking for mental well-being services I would actively avoid anything Harry recommended as it clearly doesn’t work!

Harry seems to have a cocktail of problems, including jealousy and bitterness, and sadly these have been monetised since his rf departure.

Dsis used to work in a newsroom. Before Princess Diana’s death she said that it had come to their attention that one of the princes was seeing a psychiatrist. She said they assumed it was William but with hindsight…