Strangest bits in Spare…

[Motorcycleemptyness]

i haven’t quite finished it yet but I wanted to read a thread about some of the weirder bits of Spare, and I haven’t seen a thread where people were discussing those without the ‘H&M’ vs the rest of the RF debate. There are definitely some parts which have made me really question why they were included, and I was wondering if anyone else had any similar thoughts.

The inclusion of the imagery of the poppy fields, and how heroin funds the Taliban. Fair enough. We all know that. The rest of the book is one long ode to posh people taking drugs. Does Prince Harry think the cocaine he takes is gently knitted by fairies and delivered to him by unicorns? Do the drugs he takes not contribute to war and terrorism and misery across the rest of the world (and indeed misery and crime in the UK, where he is 5th in line to be monarch!) I found this quite a strange passage and I was wondering if anyone else had any thoughts, or am I just over thinking it?

Elizabeth Arden cream. ‘Mummy’s lips’. ‘Todger’. Why? But really, why? Why was this included? Why did anyone think it or commit it to paper, and then publish it? Why did I read it? Why am I typing it here? ARGH.

What he actually thinks the relationship between the royal family and the press should actually be. Only reporting true things? Someone had a photo of him taking cocaine. Dressed as a nazi. Calling his colleague a ‘P*ki’. He wasn’t happy, but it was all true. Should journalists not be allowed to report true things? Or should they only be reporting things he wants them to report? Does Andrew get to choose that too? What about everyone else?

What the actual royal family should look like. This was mind bending. He seems to be perfectly happy with the idea of the monarchy, an institution which is predicated on the idea that they’re inherently superior to the rest of us, and that’s their birth right, but seems to massively struggle to apply that to himself and William. If a monarchy is the best system, why shouldn’t the heir be treated differently to the spare? (I don’t believe it is the best system and wish we could abolish them all but I don’t understand how one can believe one but not the other!).

Anyone else have any interesting thoughts?

Pls @QueenSmartypants jusy read that back and thought it read like I was saying you were an agitator that’s not at all what I meant!

@Eyerollcentral don't worry my ability to be offended is entirely used up for now!

I don't know what the truth is of anything that's been said, by anyone...I just don't think any of it likely to be as b&w and most people would have you believe!

Phew!
I agree, I take it all with a huge pinch of saltI. just think actually from a pop culture POV Spare is a great sort of holiday read. Some of it is genuinely moving and I did come away with a greater understanding and sympathy for his genuine grievances, for example the effective end of his army career. But his complete lack of self awareness just blows everything else out of the water. It’s a trash read to me so, and this makes me sound despicable, I would have loved more titbits of actual royal life or him hanging out with celebs rather than the constant moaning, THAT would have been a really great book. He should have called it Spoilt and detailed the lavishness of his royal life and then said I had to get away.

Just wait until you get to the seals and magic meg.

@YellowMonday him swimming out to them in the sea the Aussie chef said was infested with killer whales 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 also no idea how he could have spent so much time in Scotland and never heard of selkies, esp given his great granny has a castle by the shore!!!!!!

Genuinely thought it was parody when I read that bit online

This had me wondering how much is actually in a "cannister" of nitrous oxide?

I mean, my DH had a few puffs when I was in labour. I offered it to him saying "This stuff is incredible! Try!"

But huffing the whole lot leaving her with none? How much did he have exactly??

The weirdest thing for me is the huge entitlement and lack of self reflection he has which leads to the book seeming really disjointed in the sense that the viewpoints presented don't match with the words.

So he often tells us that he's not privileged but then shows us a very different story (the holidays, the staff, the parties).

He tells us that he's hard working and not lazy but then shows us his schedule and it's laughable. He details 10 events that are the start of his 2015 (just the highlights) but these 10 events (3 of which are on the same day and include watching a rugby match) span the period up to end of April!

Other little things I find weird

• why couldn't Meghan and Kate both have cries about the dresses? This isn't considered as an option.

• how he wanted to blow up all the Afghanis he thought were Taliban and was pissed off when he couldn't get the proper clearance.

• how he mentions Diana's garden at KP is permanently closed to him and Willy. Why? Their dad owns KP and one day Willy will. I think if they wanted to use that garden they could...

Oh the other thing I find odd is that in pretty much all of his Charles annecdotes he says "he was surprisingly kind and helpful" or has Charles showing him affection even though the overall narrative is of his father being remote, even unkind. It's another yawning gap between the tell vs show. He tells us "his truth" but then shows us the reality and, personally, my own conclusion of the situation is very different to his. It does bring to mind the interview with Andrew where he was absolutely incredulous at the notion that him merely saying "I didn't do it, wasn't there" wasn't enough to satisfy the plebs. Harry seems to have this same entitled attitude that we are all empty vessels for him to pour "his truth" into in the face of contrary evidence..weird!

One thing I thought was odd was the bit about losing his virginity. There’s no need for it to be there (it’s a throwaway paragraph in a larger section about the papers printing articles about him taking drugs) and he must have known that the press would have a field day trying to identify the woman involved - given that he’s moaning so much about press intrusion why would he do that to someone else?

It’s entertaining so I’m glad it is in there, but it is odd.

Graham, the bodyguard, that he & Will supposedly called 'Cracker(s)' - can't remember if it's singular or plural.

They apparently found this hilarious, to connect the bodyguard's name with graham crackers.

Was this bit written for American readers because we don't have graham crackers in the UK, nor do we pronounce Graham like in the US. Unless posh speakers do and I've just never heard them say Graham :/

When I read that bit, I thought 'I don't think that can be true'. Seems unlikely that the boys would have even considered this at the time.

@Patineur I think the photo is the image of Raoul Moat - now I've seen it I can't unsee it!

Yes! I thought that was weird as well. The only reason I’ve heard of Graham Crackers is because I’ve lived in the USA (I don’t know how much time they spent there as children?) but ‘Graham Crackers’ are pronounced completely differently to the way British people pronounce the name ‘Graham’. Unless the fella himself was American, but it was such an odd detail to include in the book without clarification when clearly a large portion of the audience will be British.

I think Meghan has encouraged him to let it all out ,all his inner demons , his drug use etc in a effort to make him seem relatable but she has an ulterior motive. She will use the book against him in a divorce. Judge , hes unstable ,hes an addict , our children arnt safe anywhere near him. Hel end up with nothing

I didn’t even understand that bit, still don’t but guessing from your comment it’s something American

I’m listening on audible (long commute), and and have just finished part one. Bit I found really odd was about the deer shoot and he said he’s served the community “now the people of balmoral would have meat”

'The people of Balmoral would have meat' 😂 LOL I think that is the funniest excerpt so far.

Make up your mind, are you a medieval noble or do you hate all that stuff?

I listened to Matt Berry reading the Elizabeth Arden bit. I started off laughing, but then had to stop when it got to the mummy bit. It made me so uncomfortable.

Yes. Graham is pronounced 'gram' in the US. They have biscuits (cookies) called graham crackers, said the same way. They're used when making s'mores.

Unless W & H had many Americans around them as kids I don't think they'd have been very familiar with graham crackers or the US pronunciation of graham.

It may well have been that staff or school mates were American and they heom them. But, as @Motorcycleemptyness

Ignore that last bit of my previous post.

Something went awry! Hopefully you get the gist.

There needs to be a new episode of ‘The Windsors’

Aren’t they all plumbed in now to avoid running out at a crucial moment? I can’t imagine somewhere posh like the Portland having little canisters a midwife would whip off her bike for a home birth 40+ years ago!

I thought the vitriol with which he attacked Angela Kelly over the tiara situation was strange. So out of the blue and so strong. Not just a 'she was annoying' sort of way, he wrote as if she was really evil

Harry seems to want a controlled press that only reports positive things about him and the royal family but that’s not how a free press works. I think he thinks the rf have more power than they do actually have. The royal rota is an attempt to control the press particularly where the children are concerned but no one can stop columnists spouting off about whatever they think and nor should they.
a free press is more important to democracy than m and h and even the royal family. He is kind of asking for a muzzled press but that way leads us to a completely different sort of country, and on balance I prefer a free press