SPARE - Harry’s book release announced

[Rinoachicken]

So he’s called it ‘Spare’ and it’s being released on 23rd Jan.

@PoseyFlump some posters on here have tried to argue that Harry himself, at 12 years old, 'wanted' to do all those things.

And @Serenster above wants us to blame the public and the media.

So basically, it's either Harry wanted to do it, or the media and public wanted it, or perhaps Harry wanted it because the media and public wanted it.

The adults around the boys had nothing to do with it of course!! I guess Harry, working the media and public at the age of 12, arranged the whole thing, and roped in poor William too!

I have seen it all and find it very sad how he’s turned out and that he didn’t marry someone that could ground him. A woman that could juggle royal life or a true private life.

It’s not MM’s fault that he behaves like a spoilt toddler but she certainly hasn’t helped.

Very true @MrsMaxDeWinter

@Tillsforthrills you call him a spoilt toddler. I call him a damaged young man. He's angry. And he has every right to be. Why should he go quietly?

I’m not saying he hasn’t got a right to be angry at all but he is further damaging himself and compounding the view of selling his soul for cash.

He could heal properly, with proper help surrounded by his family in a wealthy cocoon privately and then truly focus on philanthropy when he is himself in a place to help others. Because at the moment, he’s not.

You say you want the best for him and sympathise with him but you also encourage him to be publicly angry and further ostracise himself in an unhealthy way, are you sure you have his best interests at heart?

He could heal properly, with proper help surrounded by his family in a wealthy cocoon privately and then truly focus on philanthropy when he is himself in a place to help others

Perhaps part of that healing is in explaining himself, in his own words., to those interested in his life Why do you want him to be written about by royal hacks, but not to write about himself?

Why should others make money out of twisting the facts of his life story, instead of him making money from telling his own story?

I’m sorry, where did I say others should write about him?

Unfortunately, it seems he is missing an opportunity for true healing because he is too intent on sour grapes and settling scores. Trashing his family will hurt him further and he may be beginning to realise this judging by all the changes he wanted to make to his Netflix doc.

He may want to let everyone know how hurt, damaged and resentful he is and it might feel good in the moment but it won’t genuinely help him at all in the long run.

Him and MM are desperately awaiting KC approval for their children to have their HRH titles, which shows he hasn’t thought things out.

Great post. Agree with this. I hope it is worth it for him, I suspect he may regret this one day.

Great post @Nancydrawn

And @Serenster above wants us to blame the public and the media.

No, I said:

Fingers should be pointed at more than just their family there.

””more than just their family” - ie their family that were not making decisions in a vacuum. There were many factors that were at play. The media and publicly expressed pressure for the family to come down from Balmoral and publicly display their grief was extraordinary and a proper storm was being whipped up. Tony Blair was behind the scenes strongly advising the Queen what the family should be doing too. Were you in London at the time? I was, and I remember it very well.

@Tillsforthrills I don't see it that way. I see him as a victim who is being told to sshh, go quietly, here take this pill. Anger is part of the process. Telling his side in his words is part of the process. All that stuff you said can come later. The worst word to say to a victim is 'closure'. It doesn't exist. People have to do whatever they need to do to deal with their past experiences and end up in a place where they can live with them.

Let Harry do it his way. It's like grief. You don't get there immediately, you have to pass through all the stages. Telling Harry he is a spoilt brat who should be grateful probably just makes him more angry. All this reminds me of the gaslighting of Diana who, when she suspected charlie was having an affair, was made to feel she was going mad. There's nothing worse than not feeling heard.

@Serenster I remember quite clearly the outrage that the flag was not flying at half mast at the palace. Don't remember the public or tabloids demanding to see the grieving kids.

If anyone wants to read the piece Moehringer won the Pulitzer for - Crossing Over- it’s available to read in the LA Times. I’m halfway through, and am going to print it out and read it all the way through in bed tonight. It’s a wonderful read, so far. I’ve provided the link but it’s the first time I’ve linked anything at MN. If it doesn’t work - You would find it by typing in Moehringer, Pulitzer, LA Times, Crossing Over

For those suggesting he was pushed into public appearance at his mother's funeral, I'm guessing (pure conjecture, like everything else on this thread), that he probably had an epic tantrum about wanting to walk behind his mother's coffin, despite those closest to him doing their best to dissuade him. William then worried about how it would look if he didn't do the same, Prince Philip stepped in and said if they were absolutely sure then he would walk with them to support them. Harry, at 12, was probably too young to process the enormity of the situation. William, a couple of years older, understood more.

It's actually William I feel sorry for in all this stirring by Harry. He lost his mother at a young age too. His whole life has been shaped by his future role. He's had to watch Harry shit all over their shared childhood (Harry's been caught out in quite a few 'misrememberances'), had to listen to his brother pontificating about how awful his life was and it will go on and on and on despite Harry's protestations of wanting a life out of the media spotlight. All Harry (and his wife) is doing is courting publicity and the limelight, a position they are unqualified for apart from the connection to Harry's family.

I should imagine this book will be taken as gospel by some, in the same way the netflix series is taken as a documentary by some. It may do damage. I very much agree with the tenet' never complain, never explain', but I think particularly Charles and William are wishing they could write a follow up....

@Serenster
Re the funeral :
Well you do chose to draw a line where it suits your defence of royals

Did Blair advise that the boys walked?
Maybe
Why?
To reduce the likelihood of Charles been heckled or attacked at the funeral
Why would Charles be attacked?
Because of his and Camillas treatment of Diana .

He's angry. And he has every right to be. Why should he go quietly?

There are lots of angry people in the world, many of them with very good reason to feel that way. Generally though, we don’t advise them that fostering their resentment, publicly lashing at at those they blame for the causes of their anger (whether those feelings of blame are justified or not) and burning bridges and damaging relationships is the best way to manage their anger. I don’t see why things are different for Harry.

I appreciate there’s an audience here who want to see him to do this because they are looking forward to the fallout and to hear what he says about an institution they feel strongly about, but that’s not exactly constructive.

he probably had an epic tantrum

You think, eh? Who decided for how they should walk behind the coffin? Who decided the route? Who decided that the boys couldn't have just joined the procession at the end? Gosh, such power for a 12 year old boy 🙄

@Serenster no. We do encourage victims to tell their story. And contrary to what you believe, it's not all people looking for salacious tittle tattle. I probably won't read the book. But I'll defend Harry's right to tell his story. I personally believe the RF need some sunlight shining on them. They cover up too much stuff. (See the current thread on Mountbatten)

Excellent point @Novella4

Harry said himself, not that many years ago, that it was a family decision to walk behind the coffins and he was glad that he did it.

He might say something different in his memoir, we don’t know yet, but that’s what he’s put on the record about it.

I'm guessing (pure conjecture, like everything else on this thread), that he probably had an epic tantrum about wanting to walk behind his mother's coffin, despite those closest to him doing their best to dissuade him. William then worried about how it would look if he didn't do the same, Prince Philip stepped in and said if they were absolutely sure then he would walk with them to support them. Harry, at 12, was probably too young to process the enormity of the situation. William, a couple of years older, understood more.

It is posts like this that make me happy that he is writing his own story. You have projected your dislike for Harry all the way back to him as a 12 year old. Yikes!

I'm sure Harry didn't decide the minutiae, but I'm pretty sure if he'd said he didn't want to do it we wouldn't have seen him there.

Serenster, I agree with your previous post. If people are in therapy for whatever reason they are sometimes encouraged to write letters to those they perceive as having adversely impacted their lives. Not write a book to be sold to the highest bidder. I think any decent therapist would tell you that's not going to work.

This.

He is doing what he hates other people doing, presenting an absolutely onesided view of events, worse doing it in the gossipy form of a salacious book for the public to lap up.

Any grievances he has should be aired privately with family members, and resolved privately.

He is doing everything he professes to loathe.

MrsMaxdeWinter, I think Harry has probably been spoilt and pandered to pretty much all his life. It is perfectly possible to not like the behaviour of a child without disliking the child.

Exactly. His recollections really do just keep on varying don't they.

Any grievances he has should be aired privately with family members, and resolved privately.

And yet how successful is that? How many MN threads have we read where posters have tried speaking with parents about their traumatic childhood just for them to be ignored or it played down? How do you know he hasn't already tried that and their denial is what is holding him back from dealing with it all?