I'm middle class, better than you, raise perfect children and have the best partnership in the world, great teeth, hair, liberal views, two cars (one of them a BMW), and have private access to The Tate Modern.
But that's not enough, because unless I tell someone this they won't know (like Dads seek out strangers to tell them the route they took to the beach for some reason).
...I've also been to Oxford University, and was at a dinner party with Jeremy Paxman, and can speak fluent French...
I like to prove how loyal, patriotic and I am, by paying public tribute to someone I've never met by standing outdoors for up to twenty-four hours at a stretch, eating day old falafel, risking personal soiling, and have repetitive chat with the likeminded I would normally cross the road to avoid.
...ASIDE: I mean some of those queueing had accents. Can't we have separate queues for Grazia readers?...
Surely Royals employ a staff of many thousand (some with machine guns to keep people like me away from them) but it's just their way to show affection for loyal subjects.
xx If you're like me, please keep posting, because it's very funny!