Kate Middleton

[ImJustMadAboutSaffron]

Seen lots of posts in various places saying that referring to Kate Middleton is disrespectful. I don't agree:

She was born a Middleton and that's her name and family history;
She's simply a person like the rest of us and doesn't deserve any more respect than the average person because of who she married or what her job title is;
The Princess of Wales, Duchess of Cornwall, Cambridge or whatever are essentially job titles and not names.

To make it clear I rather like Kate and have no problem with her. I do have a problem with people expecting me to show deference and telling me off like a naughty ten year old who's been disrespectful to the teacher.

Nothing wrong with calling her Kate or Catherine. William calls her Kate.

Thoughts? Comments?

I still refer to lots of old friends by their maiden name. It's perfectly normal nowadays.

She was called 'Lady Di' for a long time after her marriage though and the Duchess of York was called 'Fergie' so it's not a new thing.

You’ve missed the people on MN that still call her Lady Di over 41 years later then ?

Mountbatten -Windsor.

But it isn't. Prince William doesn't have a surname on his birth certificate. Therefore he doesn't have a surname to offer her.

Should ought to be addressed as 'Catherine, Princess of Wales' or just 'The Princess of Wales' now as that's her formal name. Nothing disrespectful about referring to her as 'Kate' in polite company.

It's easier to type Kate when talking about her in forums like this. It's easier for people to type Kate Middleton than Catherine, Princess of Wales etc etc

The newspapers know this and they want to get their stories high up on the search engines so they will always include a few Kate / Kate Middleton phrases or tags for SEO purposes.

You say that her titles are simply a job description... so what ? When you see a doctor do you call him by his Christian name or Dr Smith.. ?

People all have a right to be addressed as they choose. No wrong or right. The only certainty is that it is disrespectful for others to decide your choice for you..

My sister in law is adamantly against a change of name on marriage so I call her Meg Maidenname.. as I respect her choice. She currently isn't speaking to me because I explained slowly and carefully for the 100th time that I am MRS Her-maiden-name. Something I did out of CHOICE when I married her brother. But because it doesn't fit with her beliefs she is willing to subjugate mine. Bollox to that !

As for 'it's easier' .. just how stupid do you have to be to find calling someone by their chosen correct name - Catherine, Duchess or Cambridge 'harder' than their incorrect name Kate Middleton. ?

Some of the replies here are a little bit “my good friend, Vanessa Feltz”.

I call my doctor Niall.

No-one was still referring to Diana as 'Diana Spencer' ten years into her marriage.
I don’t know because there was no MN back then. However last time I saw my friends we all referred to each other using maiden names. I know my friend’s from school married name as I was at school with her husband as well but when I’m talking about her I always use her maiden name. My sister’s friend came to visit and when I address her by her maiden name she said no one used it in ages ( 20 something years) but it’s how she’s known to me. I address letters and cards correctly but in my brain it’s the name a person first became known to me. So Kate is Kate or Kate Middleton ( I don’t write any letters to her by the way, this example is about my friends)

Indeed! I somehow can't imagine a group of former Girl Scouts talking about when they were camping with the Princess of Wales. Or how the Duchess of Cornwall was ace in the netball match that won them the league!

I've never referred to Charles as the Prince of Wales either so I'm not going to start with Kate and William.

Do the papers call Kate 'Kate Middleton'?

Diana was referred to as Lady Di by plenty for years, even til/after she died.

Like Kate, when I married I changed my surname to my husbands. I'd consider it rude if people kept calling me Sleeping Inabed instead of Sleeping StandingUp just because that USED to be my name

Do you call other women by their maiden name - even when they don't use it themselves.

Think that's rude.

If Miss Smith gets married to Mr Jones, and chooses to change her name, then it is only polite to refer to her as Mrs Jones. So, since her marriage, the former Ms Middleton should correctly have been referred to as HRH The Duchess of Cambridge. Now we have to get used to calling her HRH The Princess of Wales. It's not really anything to do with being royal, it's about respecting the person's choice and using their legal name.

Who is telling you off OP? I call her Kate Middleton sometimes out of habit. It's never been an issue given that I don't know her or anyone who does.

His surname, if he ever needed to use one, is Mountbatten-Windsor, which is the surname for all those descended from Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip

Harry didn't have a surname recorded on his birth certificate, but theystill used that one to which he is entitled for the Sussex DC

Some friends, strangers on forums and Facebook. Elderly relatives funnily enough call them Kate, Charles, Anne, William etc.

My Mum's Grandma used to refer to Queen Mary as Mary of Teck so twas ever thus.

I frequently use maiden names of women friends because that's what they were called when I got to know them.

Same with Kate. We knew her as Kate Middleton so that's who she is. Nothing rude about it.

It's different if writing eg a formal letter. Then I'd use the official name.

My Mum was the same, in fact she called her May of Teck 😊.

Elizabeth Woodville, Anne Boleyn, Katherine Parr, , Wallis Simpson, Sarah Ferguson etc - women who have married into the royal family and had surnames are generally still generally referred to by those names. (As the Queen Mother falls out of living memory I imagine that name might too might fall out of use and she’ll be more known as Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon?).

Women who married in with titles are generally known by that too - Charlotte of Mecklenburg-Strelitz, Anne of Denmark, Princess Mary of Teck, etc.

So I can see that people find it annoying, but assuming she is Queen Catherine one day, I’m fairly sure it’s how she’ll be known in history - there’s been a lot of Queen C/Katherines after all!

I call my friends by their married names as that is their names.

In the case of Catherine and Meghan, I do say " Duchess of Cambridge/ the Duchess of Sussex" and now The Princess of Wales if I speak about them as that is their title.

I have known my friends with their birthnames however I am capable of changing that as they chose to change their names, One is on her 5th surname I use the one she currently uses as that is to me showing respect for her wishes.

If someone were to use my birth name I would correct them. If they did it again I would not answer. Ive been that surname longer than my birth name so no I won't be called the previous name and I would find it disrespectful/rude.

@Serenster I want to thank you for pointing this out as I had never thought of it that way. I suppose in the annals of history she will be known as Kate Middleton.

Personally, I have been married over 20 years. I see my maiden name as who I was, not who I am now. I call people what they ask me to call them. It would be disrespectful, IMO, to-do otherwise.