Do some cats just not like laps?

[ScaredButUnavoidable]

I got a cat from a rescue about 3 months ago and shes lovely. She’s outgoing, friendly, loves playing, loves being stroked, loves tummy tickles, rubs up against our legs, will let us pick her up etc but she will not sit on our laps.

Is this normal?

I thought all cats loved snuggling up on their owners laps?

She will sleep at the bottom of my bed but she won’t sleep near me at the top or come near me (at the top of the bed) for cuddles.

She came from a very neglectful background so I don’t know if this plays a part, but in every other way she is completely comfortable around us.

I was so looking forward to having a cat I could cuddle up to on the sofa or who would happily snuggle up in my lap ☹️

My cat doesn't sit on my lap. If I lay on the sofa he will lay on top of me and make some biscuits but not my lap! Loves a fuss though

Not all cats are lap cats but as she's quite sociable and affectionate and likes to sleep with you on the bed I suspect this one may well end up on your lap eventually, it's probably just a matter of time 🙂

Of course it's normal

Every cat is different. Just like humans

Not every cat is a lap cat

Maybe you should get another one as well!

We have had ours since pampered kitten hood and they have never deigned to sit on a lap. Some cats are just not lap cats (sadly).

I got my cat from a rescue 3 years ago. He slept on my lap that first night for maybe 15 minutes and hasn’t done it since.
Also, sleeping on your bed is a sign they trust you (and like your warmth) so that’s nice.
My boy is a hunter, he likes to be outside and playing (he was an abandoned stray), absolutely loves cardboard, plastic bags, but will not sit on my lap 🥲 but that cat knows where his bread is buttered.

We adopted our boy in April 2024 and he’s now a lapcat, but it honestly took a year or so. Prior to that he would cuddle up to us in bed or sit next to us, but never actually sit in our laps. He really likes being picked up and carried around like a baby though!

Our previous girl was in my lap on her very first night here. We adopted her direct from her family (they’d had her since a kitten but she’d become really stressed since they had a baby who then became a boisterous toddler) whereas our boy had been a stray kitten. I assume that’s what made the difference.

We did have two from the rescue (they were mother and daughter) but very sadly we had to re-home the daughter last week after the most horrendous 4-5 weeks of their relationship breaking down and becoming unmanageable and unsafe for the daughter ☹️

Thankfully she’s settled into her new home really well and we are getting lots of photos and videos but we miss her presence in the house so much ☹️

The mother is much happier now she’s an only cat and I definitely can’t put myself through the stress of managing the potential awful dynamics of having two cats again. It was a very difficult time. Thankfully the rescue centre were incredibly supportive throughout.

The daughter was also incredibly affectionate and loving and she loved sitting on laps and curling up under the blankets on the bed, so I suppose I miss it.

TBH, I think the mum is just touched out and needs her personal space….. hence why she started getting so aggressive towards her daughter (who never left her alone).

We've had ours since they were 8 weeks old (now 9yrs old) and they occasionally sit for a few minutes on a lap but prefer a cushion or a bed. One of mine curls up beside ds rather than on him and the other will only climb on top of me if I'm lying in bed and it's 5am!

Oh wow that's sad

And worrying that that could happen

I’ve had my cat since about 8 weeks old and he’s been very loved his whole life but has never liked to sit on mine or anyone else’s lap. He did sit on my lap once, and I was so surprised that I took a photo to document it he is otherwise very affectionate and friendly. He does like to sit/lie as close to me as physically possible, but never on me. He also enjoys curling up in cardboard boxes rather than the soft cosy bed we have for him. He tolerates being picked up and held but not for long, they’re all different!

We have 2 rescues, they are 11 years old. One is very timid, she started sleeping on our bed occassionally about 2 years ago, but does not like being touched, or stroked, or picked up or looked at , or passed within a 2 metre radius she sat on DS lap for about 5 minutes last week - thats the first time in 10 years!

My rescue kitten would sit near us but never on our laps. 18 years later, she is The Lap Queen - as long as said lap is covered in heated blankie or duvet. Pic for cat tax.

I've had 5 cats over the years (max 2 at a time), only one (cat 3) was a sitting on the knee cat and only for a relatively short time, unless i needed to do something and he obviously stayed longer to be a typical annoying cat 😆.

Cat 1 - slept on the bed for his last year, generally cuddled up next to me on the sofa never my lap.

Cat 2 - would have loved sleeping on the bed but see cat 3... not fussy for humans

Cat 3 - Total dick, loved clawing feet, evicted from bedroom permanently along with cat 2 by association. Loved a brief lap cuddle.

Cat 4 - another with a foot clawing fetish, banned from bedroom. Large pedigree so too big to sit on my knee, occasionally sits beside me.

Cat 5 - under a year old so still learning claw control, shows potential as a sleeping on the bed cat but not yet. Prefers to snuggle with me but not on me.

My old cat loved laps. He was basically permanently attached to me if I was sat down like this photo

new cat is not a lap cat but is ridiculously affectionate. He will sleep under the duvet, wedged into my stomach and legs all night long. But sit on me? Nope

My cat was never a lap cat. In fact, he would have preferred to try and shove whoever was on a seat off it so that he could curl up there. Even if there were loads of other seats available. I didn't let him dominate me that way and never moved for him until I was good and ready.

He was quite the character cat and we do miss him.

I have one absolute cuddlebug and one who’s incredibly affectionate but not a lap cat.

Even right now, one’s sleeping on the bed and the other one is curled up on the rug next to the bed.

She comes to check on me regularly during the day - runs into the room, rubs against my legs, gets some pats and then goes off again. She loves attention and playing. She loathes being picked up and the only time she’ll ever cuddle up to me in bed is when she’s cold 😂

My cats love sitting on my legs (when they are straight out on the sofa whilst watching tv) but won't sit on my actual lap. That is sufficient for me - better than nothing and keeps my shins warm!

Mine dislikes laps. However she has jumped twice onto my lap for comfort when there was a thunderstorm as she’s scared of them (the bangs). I was shocked as she’s not a lap cat. She does sit next to me though.

My old cat Felix also not a lap cat but very affectionate. Cats before (brother and sister) they were lap cats but I’d had them since young kittens.

It’s a trust issue. If she came from a neglectful home she’ll find it hard to trust you but it will take time and she should do. Lots of strokes and playing should help, plus treats (dreamies).

Mine suddenly decided she liked laps when she was about five.

Our cats are siblings we got them from a rescue when they were 6 months. The smaller one is really timid and flinches when we get close, weve never been able to get close enough to her to regularly stroke her. She sits near us and occassionally we can stroke her if she's asleep but often she runs away as soon as youre within arms reach. The boy cat allows stroking, being picked up, regularly sits on laps, nudges against legs when he wants food etc

Agree, it will be trust. My cat was a rescue age 5. Despite appearing quite relaxed and enjoying strokes it took her 3 years to tentatively climb onto my lap. 5 years on she is not really a snuggly cat but does enjoy a bit of lap time and will visit me in bed in the mornings for a little cuddle.
Persevere.

Two of my three fought over my lap constantly, but the third always wanted to cuddle by lying on his back, paws in the air, pressed up against my thigh. He never ever sat in my lap.

Every cat has their own personality and they will be much more affectionate if you meet them on their own terms, as it allows them to trust you more deeply.

One of my cats is super affectionate, very trusting, just not a big fan of laps. She hangs around us all the time and loves attention but prefers to lie right next to you with her head on your leg or tucked into the crook of your arm.

The other cat is more skittish and shy but over time has built up confidence and she will now sit on my lap (but only mine so far).

You could try putting a blanket on your lap. I’ve sometimes managed to tempt mine onto me that way.