Older Cat Getting Frail

[VivaciousCurrentBun]

Our cat is around 16 years old she has always been very timid and hates other cats and dogs. She is deteriorating as in just being a very old lady that is delicate and frail. Stares at the wall for hours, she fell asleep with her head in her food bowl recently. She has lost a little weight, her breathing is a little rapid at times, she likes being brushed and purrs when this is done and she will eat though a little fussier. Seems to like being alone a lot which is a big change she used to follow us around or sit next to us all the time until a few months ago.

She gets extremely distressed going to the vet, if I thought she was in pain I would take her obviously. But the few times she has been she has been genuinely traumatised.

I have never had to care for a pet who is going towards end of life. DH and I have discussed it and we think she isn’t at a time to be put to sleep and we are hoping when the time comes she will peacefully pass on at home. But how do you know the time to intervene if it isn’t totally obvious.

Would welcome any advice from people with experience of older cats, we think she is 16 but as she was from a shelter it was just an estimated age so she could be older.

Not many peacefully pass so you are likely to have to make a decision
i let my old boy go a little early while he wasn’t in pain, he was still well but the vet had warned me his steroid injections would one day stop working
he was frail and looking at photos it was the exact right time. I’ve never regretted it, he went very much loved and not suffering. The vet also told me a lot of people hang on for too long

I have lost two lovely geriatric cats - both times I had to pts, was also hoping they’d just go. With the first cat, she got terrible diarrhoea and stopped eating and vet said kidneys done for and nothing to be done (she had thyroid issues). With the second cat, she also had thyroid issues and she lost so much weight and stopped eating, tried everything both times and they just wouldn’t eat. We kept hoping she’d go, but she got frailer and more distressed and fell over and we had to take her in to pts.

the vet sad the same as other pp that cats can just cling on for a long time when there’s no hope.

it is horrible op, but it’s part of responsible ownership. You’ll know - when her condition goes, she’s too thin and she won’t eat then it’s time, or when your vet says so.

I have a twenty year old who has gone thin and seems a bit confused sometimes. I did take him to the vet who did a blood test (£250) 😳 which showed nothing amiss. I think you instinctively know when it's time and I feel it's the last act of love you can do for them . Cats go very quiet and tend to hide away, stop eating and their fur looks raggy when they are not well but I think you'll know when it's time .

I also have a cat this age - getting thin and yowls a bit but seems happy in herself for now. I am assessing her pretty much daily. When the time comes we will pts. Good luck OP.

Our cat went into his last phase of life in lockdown, and when I enquired with the vet about being PTS, was told he'd have to be taken off me in the car park and I couldn't stay with him. He hated the vets with a passion, so we decided to see what happened over the coming days/week. He was very sleepy, so we made him a comfy nest in our dining room (had a hard floor for accidents), put him a litter tray in each corner, and he had lots of small meals of mainly jelly. He was perfectly happy lying in the sun in front of the patio doors, and he passed away peacefully in his bed one afternoon. It wasn't the scary horrible process I'd dreaded at all. We're very persuaded to PTS under the guise of kindness but death is a very natural process.

If she's terrified by the vet you could look into a mobile vet service when the time comes to do a home visit. It's usually a bit more but not too much. Id hate the thought of putting mine through a traumatic vet visit when they could pass comfortably at home where they feel safe.

My friends cat is looking increasingly frail. But my friend completely shuts down any conversations about her end of life. He thinks she will just die on her own. She’s happy enough for now though.

We had to take our lovely 18 and a half years old cat to be put to sleep this week. The vet was so kind with her and with us - we were able to spend lots of time with her at every stage, so she became very calm and nothing felt rushed. It was so peaceful and gentle for her.

She had been super strong and healthy up until 18 and then in her last 6 months became increasingly frail. Her hearing and eyesight became poor. She lost nearly a third of her body weight and found it harder to groom herself. We had blood tests but nothing specific was found - her kidneys and thyroid were all good. She had some mouth discomfort and coughing/ sneezing, which the vet felt was inflammation and she was put on arthracam pain medicine, which she lapped up happily and this definitely helped her and she was much more comfortable. She stopped going outside but still loved snoozing in a sunny window, being stroked and brushed and sleeping on her special cushion with cosy blankets.

In the last few weeks she started to look more wobbly on her paws and again thinner, but still purry and engaged with us and her surroundings. In her last couple of days it was obvious that she was sleepier, less responsive and then stopped eating. I do think you'll just know when it's time.

my vet gave me meds to give mine prior when she was going to go for bloods. Much the way i get diazepam for going to the dentist. That really chilled her out. Maybe yours will prescribe too so you can keep your cat calm if she needs to be examined at the vets.

Thanks to everyone for replying. We have found a vet that does home visits so think that is the best way forward so we have a better idea of just how frail she is. The only time we had to get meds in to her which was many years ago was an absolute nightmare as she was so upset about it. She is a delicate soul.

Our boy who is 18 has become increasingly frail. We think he is almost completely deaf. Very thin and he has wobbly back legs. Also he will wee and poo where ever is nearest to his sleeping spot(which changes every few weeks) I don’t think he will be with us for much ch longer but as he is still eating and drinking for me I don’t think it’s time yet. We had such a traumatic time when his sister became ill that I am hoping he will pass peacefully at home.

The vet says draining fluid from her will give her relief but it may be temporary and looking like her thyroid is having an issue so an op or meds forever. My DH and DS want to save her at all costs. I love her but am conflicted. It is impossible for her to actually know what is happening to her. Any thoughts with this update, the treatment is affordable for us but very expensive. I believe in quality of life over quantity and think should we put her though all this?

All the elderly cats we’ve had have had thyroid issues diagnosed in their mid teens, which we chose to treat with meds, they all lived 5+ years post diagnosis and the meds were inconvenient but not too hard to manage. A friend went the surgical route but hers was younger on diagnosis.

draining what fluid from where and why?

maybe we will have had previous experience and can tell you what happened with our elder cats in the same boat.

mine had fluid around the heart as it was starting to go

She was very thirsty all the time due to kidney disease stage 2 progressing.

then started being out of breath and breathing faster to make up for the other things that were going wrong. i immediately took her to the vet and got medication for her and it helped a lot. but the fluid was still there, i could feel it rippling under her chest when i picked her up. it was only for a week as she was in discomfort and clearly her body was starting to fail.

so i had to have her put down. i wanted to save her at all costs. but sometimes we need to really think about their quality of life and pain they are maybe also masking.
it’s awful to be in this position.

My cats diagnoses was very like yours, it’s cost us 2k. It was not my choice as I would have had her put to sleep but was out voted by the rest of the family. She will probably be on meds we go back today but it’s a one off procedure and investigation and it’s been agreed no more sedation and ops with the rest of the family. seems far better today now the fluid has gone. Its a massive ethical conundrum for me, I have a medical background and have assisted at hundreds of surgical procedures, humans though and not animals. It’s caused me so much stress I haven’t been sleeping the last couple of days as I have always been of the opinion that not having capacity and not being able to agree to procedures is unethical. It’s one of the reasons I changed career. An animal never has capacity, it’s actually given me flashbacks to many years ago when I had to help restrain patients who had zero capacity to sedate them for surgery as they had no idea what was happening to them and were petrified.

In reply to @TalulahJP

A pill crusher and mixing the meds into lick e lix for a reluctant cat is a game changer. I have one that is traumatised by having to travel in the car and gabapentin helps her. We also lost our older cat last year at 18, she had been getting frail for the last couple of years and we knew it was time when she stopped eating and her blood tests showed very poor kidney function. I had hoped she would pass away naturally at home but she was in so much distress at the end we had her put to sleep, it would have been cruel to let her suffer any longer.

I think you will know. I've had to make the decision twice relatively recently. One was 15, he just was suddenly obviously ill, sitting with his head on one side in a way I've never seen any cat do before, shaking legs, etc. He was in severe kidney failure and taken to a vet hospital but failed to respond to treatment so the decision was easily made. The vet recommended euthanasia.

2nd cat was 20. Eating well but extremely hindered by arthritis which he was on medication for. He deteriorated for some time - weeing and sometimes pooing in inappropriate places because of his lack of mobility - but he always ate so well and was only losing weight which he should never have been carrying in the first place (he was overweight!) He was such a happy, affectionate cat. The end came suddenly when he stopped eating and was unable to squat to wee. We had him put to sleep within hours of that.

So I really think you will know when the time comes. Also, although the vets rarely tell you what to do, if you can speak to one, you can usually read between the lines when they are thinking the end is near.

My friend had one of his cats PTS this morning after sudden onset kidney failure. We both thought it would be the other than went first. I saw her on FaceTime and I knew it was time last night and he realised this morning. RIP Betty, beautiful grumpy girl. She was 17.

My cat was doing ok but obviously very sleepy, I have realise that she has gone blind or has incredibly limited sight, looked in to it and cats after a GA can go blind, and at no point was this discussed, it is relatively rare. Ringing them later I have been so upset and been crying this morning, she is struggling go find her litter, food, way round the house. It’s just awful. Think it’s got far worse since the two weeks since her op.

Sending a paw hold OP.

My cat very sadly had to be put to sleep she had a detached retina and also very blind in the other eyes she just wasn’t herself. Horribly high blood pressure. She was really ok for a couole of days last week. My friend said she probably rallied to say goodbye, I know humans do this, my Dad did but didn’t think that animals did but makes sense,

so very sorry for your loss op.

i got a snip of fur in a sample bottle which i kept so i can touch it when im sad. as well as her cremated remains.

someone said that the awful grief we feel now is the price we pay for all the love they have given us over the years. it’s just so hard. 💐

Sorry to hear this, but the right decision was made and she’s no longer suffering.
Out cat is getting old now - she’s 14 and much less active.
She has had kidney failure for years but a renal diet keeps that in check.
I am actually dreading her demise - my now-adult DC are very close to her and there will be big upsets from them when the time comes.

Thanks both @TalulahJP and @sunnydisaster DS is an adult also very attached and moving out by the end of this year probably around this September/October. The house does feel so different this morning I have already had a few tears. So it’s a big transitory phase for us this year. We are off to the RSPCA to drop off all her food, we had recently had a big delivery as we bought in bulk. We got her from there 14 years ago. She chose us and when her cage was opened she sat on DH shoulders and that was it home she came. Then we are meeting up with DS GF family to go to a sporting event she is playing in.

We have had a snip of her fur and they are making us paw prints, she will be cremated and then come back home. She loved sitting under a specific shrub so we may bury her there.

it’s so sad isn’t it.

i dont know if you believe in a spirit world, but i noticed that i could still feel her presence for a couple of days. so i talked to her just in case shes come home in spirit with me and didn't understand that she had passed.

i told her how much i loved her, that her body had died, and this would remain her home but when she was ready she could go be with her cat family in heaven and i’d be ok with that.

i felt her around me for two or three days and then the air seemed still and different and i felt she’d gone.

some go up right away. just mentioning in passing should you feel yours is still here. it might not be your imagination.

ive no wish to cause offence or start detailing the thread about it only to offer comfort.