Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

My one year old cat just got hit by a car and has died

28 replies

DrRichardWebber · 08/09/2025 10:21

I just need some support. I can’t stop crying. She was just a baby. I don’t know what to do. I have to tell my daughters after school. The pain is just unbearable.

Can anyone help? Will this get better?

OP posts:
dragonbreaths · 08/09/2025 10:22

I'm so, so sorry. It will get better but she'll leave a hole in your heart

viques · 08/09/2025 10:27

I am so sorry, what a dreadful thing to have happened.

I think you have to be practical, can you get the poor little thing to your vet and ask them to arrange for a cremation, the last thing you want is for your daughters to have to see their injured pet. It is one thing saying a gentle goodbye to a loved pet that is being pts, quite another seeing an animal that has been killed in a RTA.

Original poster
DrRichardWebber · 08/09/2025 10:34

We have taken her to the vet. I’m just not coping. I know it’s so early but I just can’t bear this feeling.

OP posts:
Original poster
DrRichardWebber · 08/09/2025 10:35

The cat who died has a brother. They were very bonded. I want another cat, but everything on the internet tells me that will just upset her brother.

OP posts:
viques · 08/09/2025 10:39

It does take time, I have never lost a pet due to an accident so I imagine a lot of your feelings are the result of shock. Don’t feel you have to hide your feelings from your daughters, it will be painful to cry about your loss, but it will also be supportive for you all and the start of the process of remembering your cat as a loved member of your family, who enriched your lives and shared her brief life with you by giving you unconditional love.

BuzzYourGirlfriendWooof · 08/09/2025 10:45

I am so sorry for your loss. It is heartbreaking.

We went through the exact same thing, right down to leaving behind his sibling. She cried for him for a long while and searched for him around the house, and I only say this so that you can prepare yourself for what may happen.

We had some keepsakes made for him in his memory which helped, and we keep his ashes in our sitting room, so he’s always with us.

DH said we ought to get a new cat and I was vehemently against it as I felt he would be irreplaceable and his sister had been through enough. On this occasion, I am glad he ignored me as he got a 14 week old kitten, and they got on wonderfully (and still do 12 years later).

I really hope your children are as ok as can be. Sending hugs.

SpringGreensAgain · 08/09/2025 10:48

I'm so sorry, what an awful thing to happen.

You might like to contact Blue Cross - they offer bereavement supportive to people whose pets have died - Blue Cross

Take care x

Original poster
DrRichardWebber · 08/09/2025 11:03

@BuzzYourGirlfriendWooof how soon after did you get another cat? I just already feel a hole that she’s left. I need it filled.

OP posts:
GentleSheep · 08/09/2025 11:05

DrRichardWebber · 08/09/2025 10:35

The cat who died has a brother. They were very bonded. I want another cat, but everything on the internet tells me that will just upset her brother.

I'm so, so sorry for your loss, yes it does hurt like hell. I think in this case 'the internet' is wrong, at one year old your other cat will likely take to a new cat, given time.

I had a pair of brothers and one died at 2 years old (heart condition) but we haven't gotten another cat. I've had several cats and I think I just can't go through more losses.

Iloveanicegarden · 08/09/2025 11:13

We had a bonded pair of siblings. The male was PTS a year ago and his sister never really recovered. She was PTS a year later. We combined their ashes and have a small statuette of two cats to place on top as a tribute to them. They will always be in our hearts - paw prints all over it!

Iloveanicegarden · 08/09/2025 11:15

Posted too soon. It took me over a year to 'get over' the first one that owned us.

Typicalwave · 08/09/2025 11:18

It takes time - I lost a beautiful car whi had chosen me via the Cat Distribution System. I only had him 18 months. I sent him outside after he attacked the ham I’d left cooking (he was an outdoor cat and came and went as he pleased) He was promptly run over. I’ve never forgiven myself but it does get better.

Huge hugs

Sassylovesbooks · 08/09/2025 11:22

It's horrible. Take some deep breaths. You know you'll have to tell your daughter's once they're home. Everyone in the household will be upset. You will miss your little one, and you may find her brother pines/clingy/confused. Reassure her brother as much as possible, lots of attention. With regards to another cat, you need to give that a little time. You don't know how well her brother will cope. If you do decide to introduce another cat, speak to a local rescue, and do the introductions carefully and properly. Sending you a hug ❤️

BuzzYourGirlfriendWooof · 08/09/2025 11:25

@DrRichardWebber it was within a month of losing him, so pretty quickly. We got the new kitten from a rescue centre (his litter had been left in a bin 🥺), and I am genuinely grateful every day that we have him.

The cats bonded quickly. We recently got a kitten and they both sadly cannot tolerate her in their older age. Whilst your current cat is young, I think it makes it so much easier.

I often think about the one we lost, but the pain has, of course, eased massively and I’m just happy we were able to love him and look after him while we had him.

Best of luck with your decision.

steppemum · 08/09/2025 11:28

I am so sorry for your loss. It is awful isn't it, especially when they are so young.

If you get another cat, get a young one, preferably a kitten. They should be able to bond better than and older cat, and yes, get one while your boy is still young.

But do give yourselves time to grieve first

Original poster
DrRichardWebber · 08/09/2025 13:00

I’m just bumping this, if anyone has any advice on how to deal with this. I’m so sad. I feel so guilty. She loved walking my daughters to school and we shouldn’t have encouraged her to go out when the roads were busy. She’s not replaceable but I also want a kitten to take our minds off her dying.

OP posts:
Catmummy21 · 08/09/2025 13:56

I’m so sorry for your loss. Your dear girl is at peace and any pain was momentary compared to the happy life she had with you. Sending hugs xxx
You can get another cat of course, but wait a while and see how you feel once you are over the shock of losing her. You could try going to a rescue and ask if they have a cat who, like your remaining boy, used to be one of a pair and likes company.

Cornishbelle · 08/09/2025 13:59

When I was growing up we had a brother and sister. When the first one died I remember my mum wrapping her up in a towel and showing her to the other cat so they could understand what has happened. It might help the remaining cat come to terms more quickly, but don't forget if you introduce a new kitten too quickly the cat may reject and that would also be very sad. So sorry for your loss.

SnugglyJumpersMakeItBetter · 08/09/2025 14:02

I'm so sorry. Unfortunately it's all too common with free-roaming cats. Could you set up the garden so it's escape-proof and keep her brother safe that way?

itsmeafterall · 08/09/2025 14:08

We lost one of ours to the road when he was just 3. Heartbreaking. We wept and wept. His sister adjusted gradually but had not really liked other cats since. But we still had one!

She got used to it and settled pretty quickly.

We buried our lovely boy on the garden and planted a beautiful shrub over him. We did a little ceremony to say our goodbyes. The kids took it surprisingly well and we just used straight forward language to explain it to them. 13 years on and we still miss him and talk about him. 💔

I'm so sorry that you've lost your little baby cat

stormsandsunshine · 08/09/2025 15:11

I'm so sorry for your loss. When I was a child, we lost a young cat to the road. It was awful, but just to reassure you that my brother and I coped - we cried and missed him and it was horrible and sad, but it did get better.

It is possible to get a kitten (and we did after a few months) but I would give it a bit of time, both for you and for your other cat, who may be confused about what's happened to his sister. Your other cat is young enough to adjust to a new cat, and often rescues say that they are happy to rehome a single kitten to a house where there is another young cat to help it settle in. But bear in mind that the cats may not bond like your previous cat and her brother. It did help us to get another kitten, and our existing cat tolerated him and they co-existed without upset but they weren't close and didn't curl up together or groom each other.

Give yourself some time and space. You're in shock and grieving. It will be slightly better each day.

Toddlerteaplease · 08/09/2025 15:14

Can you show her to her brother? They do understand. I took my other cats when one was PTS and it helped them. So sorry for your loss.

stormsandsunshine · 08/09/2025 15:29

The other thing I'd say is that, as a child, I found seeing our cat's body helped me come to terms with what had happened. This assumes of course that the cat wasn't hit in a way that caused visible injuries that would be distressing to look at. But I remember that we brought the body home from the vet's, and stroked him wrapped up in a towel and said goodbye and that we loved him. It brought me a lot of closure. I know people have very different opinions about children dealing with death, but for me it was a helpful and healing experience.

Cnon · 08/09/2025 17:46

@DrRichardWebber Sorry for your family's loss.

UnreasonablyUpset3 · 08/09/2025 17:51

DrRichardWebber · 08/09/2025 10:21

I just need some support. I can’t stop crying. She was just a baby. I don’t know what to do. I have to tell my daughters after school. The pain is just unbearable.

Can anyone help? Will this get better?

I came on here to post the exact same thing. My 2 year old boy was ran over today, he died on the way to the vets. He has a bonded litter mate and my daughter is so upset.

I feel so guilty for my cat, he was so so loving and I already miss cuddling him

I am so so sorry for you loss x

Swipe left for the next trending thread