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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Cat very ill

42 replies

AndrogynousElf · 02/04/2025 22:31

My lovely cat is very ill. She hasn’t eaten in days. The vet has given her meds to try to make her eat, but that if she doesn’t eat soon then it’s time to let her go.

She’s very old and has other conditions. I’m struggling with when to know it’s time. I know people say that it’s better too soon than too late but it’s still such a hard decision.

OP posts:
Defiantly41 · 02/04/2025 22:41

Heartbreaking decision to make but you need to do what’s best for your cat.

have been through this very recently- hard on you but very gentle and peaceful for your cat

BenWhishawsBottom · 02/04/2025 22:47

Definitely don’t expect to just know… Our vet was amazing with our Ddog and he confirmed it was time. If you trust yours, start there.
If she hasn’t eaten and anti-nausea meds and appetite stimulants aren’t working then that’s a definite sign things aren’t good.
Is she drinking?

AnnaBalfour · 02/04/2025 22:55

It’s time to let her rest, she could be in pain or discomfort and you can’t allow that, so sorry OP 💐

Original poster
AndrogynousElf · 02/04/2025 23:00

Thanks. I thought I would know but she’s just had a couple of bites of food that I brought to where she was resting. First food in days. But now she’s gone off to a different place. So clearly isn’t back to usual self at all.

OP posts:
Original poster
AndrogynousElf · 02/04/2025 23:07

Also, after the few bites of food she just purred for a few mins. Which now has confused me.

But then is it better to put her to sleep while she’s still purring a little bit? Than wait until there’s no more purrs.

OP posts:
labradorservant · 02/04/2025 23:29

Purring can mean pain in cats too. It’s times like this you just want them to fall asleep and not wake up and then it’s not your decision. Give them a big cuddle.

Original poster
AndrogynousElf · 02/04/2025 23:34

I did wonder that about the purring. I kind of wish she would just not be alive tomorrow and have died in her sleep. I need to try to sleep now. I normally go to bed at 9:30 but wanted to make the most of her sitting with me. But now she’s gone off on her own I don’t feel guilty. Clearly doesn’t want to be fussed anymore.

OP posts:
Judystilldreamsofhorses · 02/04/2025 23:35

Oh mate, it’s time. If she’s not eating or responding to medication to encourage her to eat, and not herself, it’s time. And how lovely to slip peacefully away with the person you love, making the last moments for you gentle, and advocating for you not to be in pain or suffering.

We had our lovely girl pts a year ago next week - exactly one year ago today we found out that she had aggressive stomach cancer, which was incurable even with aggressive treatment. It was fucking terrible. On the very last day she was happily eating, purring, running around the garden which made it even more unbearable. But it would have been truly, truly unbearable to see her suffer - we loved her far too much for that.

Original poster
AndrogynousElf · 02/04/2025 23:39

Oh that sounds so hard. To have the running around and still make that decision. But also so lovely that that was her last day and for her to have been happy.

I actually thought I’d be much more pragmatic than I actually am.

OP posts:
labradorservant · 02/04/2025 23:41

Can she get outside? Please make sure she’s inside as they can take themselves away. I had my 18 yo cat pts 2 weeks ago. Her back legs went. It’s tough but I actually feel relieved now that she had a great life and a good death and I was with her to the end.

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 02/04/2025 23:47

AndrogynousElf · 02/04/2025 23:39

Oh that sounds so hard. To have the running around and still make that decision. But also so lovely that that was her last day and for her to have been happy.

I actually thought I’d be much more pragmatic than I actually am.

I don’t think we were pragmatic really - we just loved her so, so much. The thought of her becoming sad and weak and going downhill was worse than the thought of being without her. She had tuna and Philadelphia, a nice day in the sunshine, then broke our hearts.

It’s the hardest thing I have ever done and I am so, so sorry you are in this position.

CosmicScouser · 02/04/2025 23:57

I'm so sorry.
You sound like a lovely, caring owner for her. You have her best interests at heart, she is in the best hands with you. Your judgement is best.

XxSideshowAuntSallyx · 03/04/2025 06:57

Ah it's so hard. My old cat stopped eating, she also just had that look in her eyes that said I've had enough. I have a picture of her sat outside and she just looks so sad.

That was when we knew it was time.

Original poster
AndrogynousElf · 03/04/2025 07:10

Slept so badly. She’s just sat on my lap and purred loads and had a few more bites of food. Think I’ll see how she is today.

I don’t even know what sign I’m waiting for. But making that decision about a cat who’s sat on my lap purring like she always does is really hard.

OP posts:
workingcocker · 03/04/2025 07:53

it is true that it’s better to be a day too early than a day too late.

We lost our lovely Labrador a few years back, she had a brain tumour. We were waiting for various results as it was quite quick, desperate for answers and a possible cure. Ultimately we were a day too late and it was horrible, she really suffered and we will never forget it.

Not eating is normally the sign.

labradorservant · 03/04/2025 07:58

Isn’t not eating a sign? What else is she not doing or doing differently?

FionnulaTheCooler · 03/04/2025 08:02

We had a similar situation a few months ago with our elderly cat, she just stopped eating one day. We took her to the vet and they kept her in and ran tests then said it was her kidneys for sure and also a suspected bowel tumour but I wasn't going to put her through a biopsy to confirm at her age. The vets gave her fluids and appetite stimulant but she still wouldn't eat so we agreed it was time, we went in to say goodbye and were there for her being euthanised. It was a hard decision to make as she still seemed quite bright and alert and was purring away on the vets table and I was very tempted to take her home and have a few more days with her but in reality she was very poorly and it was best to let her go peacefully.

Gettingbysomehow · 03/04/2025 08:05

Cats purr right up to the end, even as they are being PTS and take themselves off, they like to be alone when the end is near and often hide.
I'm so sorry I know how hard it is.

Allergictoironing · 03/04/2025 08:11

Please take her today. She won't suffer any more (remember cats hide pain very well), and she won't know what's going on - it's a very peaceful pain free process (for the cat). Yes you will suffer pretty badly, but a couple of days earlier won't make any difference to you really but could be the difference to her between going peacefully and going in pain and miserable.

A good death is the last, best gift we can give our pets.

Original poster
AndrogynousElf · 03/04/2025 10:14

Well the vet said if she doesn’t eat in the morning then it’s time. But then she ate some food. And sat on my lap. But I actually think it’s time anyway. A few bites of food isn’t enough.

OP posts:
Original poster
AndrogynousElf · 03/04/2025 10:15

It’s really reassuring to hear the stories of other people’s cats purring near the end too

OP posts:
Judystilldreamsofhorses · 03/04/2025 10:42

It’s so hard and sad and bad but it really does sound like it’s time if she’s not herself and only eating a tiny bit. Imagine if she went downhill during the night and you had to rush her to out of hours in a crisis situation at an unfamiliar vet, and how distressing that would be for both of you.

Cats purr to self-soothe. Maybe think about the bigger picture - compare how she is today with a morning this time last year or even last month?

Original poster
AndrogynousElf · 03/04/2025 10:55

Yes, I agree. She has declined so so quickly in the last few days. That what would another few days look like. I really don’t want an emergency situation. Waiting on a call back from the vet now to see if they can come to our house to do it.

Thanks so much everyone, it really has helped me make up my mind.

OP posts:
Original poster
AndrogynousElf · 03/04/2025 10:56

It’s helped me feel like I’m not killing my cat. Which I am but not for a bad reason. I’m also pleased because she sat on me this morning and so I’ll have that lovely last memory. I think the tiny bit of food was enough for her to be a tiny bit happy for a few hours.

OP posts:
labradorservant · 03/04/2025 11:44

The other week when my cat could hardly walk she dragged herself to the garden and sat in the sun, something she hasn’t done for a while. She then sat on our lap and had cuddles before we took her to the vet. I’m sure she knew her moments were numbered. My DS held her while they did it, apparently she went before they finished, which is a sign (or the vet was being nice) it’s time to go. I’m so glad I got to control the situation, she wasn’t stressed, and wasn’t left hobbling around without us knowing etc. I thought I would be really sad but I think I’m relieved it was so calm, and it was obviously stressing me and I was making excuses to keep her going.

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