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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Can somebody please tell me if I'm doing the right thing?

36 replies

TheLurkingOne · 03/12/2024 11:13

Our lovely 14 year old cat has been going downhill since the summer. Retching and coughing. Losing weight.
He's bern on thyroid medication and steroids for about 4 or 5 years.

Two weeks ago he stopped eating and drinking. The vet put him on a saline drip, gave him an appetite stimulant and he basically came back to us a bit. She did xrays and bloods and suspects lymphoma. He was so upset as he had to stay overnight. I just wanted him home.

He didn't bounce back fully and was rating very little. He has been eating and drinking virtually nothing for the last 3 days. He looks uncomfortable and can't settle. I gave him half a creamy treat yesterday and he threw it straight up.

The vet is coming in an hour to put him down as I don't want him to suffer. But she thinks we should be trying him on the appetite stimulant etc instead. I think why? It might fix him temporarily but he's not going to get better.

I'm so sad. I love him so much. I just want to do the right thing for him. Am I wrong in having him put down now? Should I be trying to eke more time out for him?

He's sitting in the utility room watching some cows through the window. I think that's what's bothering me. He still has the energy to look at the cows, say hi to us and try to purr. Except the purring sets him off Retching.

I'm so sad. I wish I knew if this was the right thing to do.

OP posts:
Errolwasahero · 03/12/2024 11:15

I would let him go in peace, happy and calm. Hugs to you, it’s hard! But I’ve always seen it as part of the deal we make with them x

MamaWeasel · 03/12/2024 11:16

You know your pet best. This is the final, kindest thing you can do for him. Losing pets is eally painful, I am sorry you are going through this.

I always think, "better a week too early than a day too late".

Errolwasahero · 03/12/2024 11:17

Yes to @MamaWeasel , I agree. Also just thinking about it, my vet would not be pushing like yours is…

narniabusiness · 03/12/2024 11:18

I’m so sorry that your cat is ill. You are doing the right thing by putting him to sleep.

Yoyokitten · 03/12/2024 11:19

Oh bless you.
You are definitely doing the right thing.It's a natural reaction to question yourself if it's the right time
He is telling you it's time.
I have just gone through it a few weeks ago, it is so hard but at the same time easy because I knew it was the right thing to do.
Give him a cuddle, talk to him.
Hope you're ok 💐

goodnessidontknow · 03/12/2024 11:19

You know him best and it sounds like absolutely the best decision. The best thing for them can be the hardest thing for us!

Original poster
TheLurkingOne · 03/12/2024 11:21

Thank you all.

OP posts:
MrsSchnickelfritz · 03/12/2024 11:21

We had to make a similar decision with our 15 year old cat. She was hungry but not really able to eat much at the end. The vet also suggested trying an appetite stimulant - it seemed cruel to me to make her more hungry when she was struggling to actually eat anything. We decided to let her go. It was awful at the time but a couple of months later I feel sure it was the right thing.
We love them so much it's hard to be absolutely certain that putting them to sleep is the right thing - we don't want to let them go after all.

whatisforteamum · 03/12/2024 11:23

I would let him go.
I know it's very hard.

Bigpaintinglittlepainting · 03/12/2024 11:23

You poor thing, did you suggest to your vet it was maybe time to pts ?

Sometimes they are reluctant to suggest it first if there is maybe one more thing to elongate life ?

If your cat is suffering then you know best Flowers

Original poster
TheLurkingOne · 03/12/2024 11:29

I feel like I should be waiting to make sure. But I don't see that he will get any better. I don't want him to suffer. He is such a good cat he will purr as soon as you look at him. I'm worried the vet will think I'm being cruel putting him down when he's still so purry.

OP posts:
MrsSchnickelfritz · 03/12/2024 11:36

Yes, ours was the same. Such a loving old puss who purred as soon as you entered the room. With ours she just wasn't moving much at all. Literally from one spot to the food bowl or litter tray. That was it. She couldn't even manage to sit on our laps at the end. She had no proper quality of life really despite her purring when she saw us.
I think there's a saying 'better a day too early than a week too late'. That sort of swayed me in the end. I thought, what am I really waiting for when I know she can't get better? Am I waiting for her to be distressed and in crisis? If so, that's not fair. I would have hated for her to be unable to move or in agony.

Original poster
TheLurkingOne · 03/12/2024 11:39

Thank you all again. He doesn't want to sit on me at all which isn't like him.

OP posts:
ChaChaSlide101 · 03/12/2024 11:41

Sending you so much love and care OP. It sounds like it's the right time - but he will let you know entirely, no one else might see it, but you will. And if the vet is there, it doesn't mean you have to go through with anything if he's telling you it's not time yet. Equally, though ,don't let the vet talk you in or out of anything - they should be supportive of what is a truly heart-breaking decision.

Thinking of you and DCat xxx

Gettingbysomehow · 03/12/2024 11:41

Im so sorry but this really sounds like the end to me, most of my 10 cats over the years were put to sleep at this stage and the few that died before that went out into the garden and died under a bush,

Gettingbysomehow · 03/12/2024 11:42

TheLurkingOne · 03/12/2024 11:39

Thank you all again. He doesn't want to sit on me at all which isn't like him.

When they get to the end they don't. They just want to hide.

Breadcat24 · 03/12/2024 11:50

Horrible decision but made with love

Original poster
TheLurkingOne · 03/12/2024 13:18

It's done. He's gone. Feels empty already. It's awful.

OP posts:
ChaChaSlide101 · 03/12/2024 13:33

TheLurkingOne · 03/12/2024 13:18

It's done. He's gone. Feels empty already. It's awful.

He'll always be with you, though. Spiritually if you believe in it, in memories and smiles and sunshine, too.

Run free over the rainbow little chap, you're in the best company up there.

Well done OP, huge hugs for you 💜

Thwart · 03/12/2024 13:35

Better a week too soon than a day too late.

MrsSchnickelfritz · 03/12/2024 13:38

I'm so sorry op. It's heartbreaking even when it's the right thing to do.

Errolwasahero · 03/12/2024 16:54

Thinking of you, he’ll always be with you in your heart 💐

AnotherCrazyCatLady · 03/12/2024 18:11

I'm so sorry. I lost my cat at the end of September. I am still heartbroken 💔

From everything you have described, you did the right thing. Interventions may have prolonged his life, but its sounds like his quality of life would have been low – plus who knows how much further he may have deteriorated in his final days. You have done the right thing in sparing him that.

He had a wonderful life purring and looking at the cows and being with you.

He will always be in your heart.

(I know that may not help much when you just want them back with you.)

💐

Original poster
TheLurkingOne · 03/12/2024 19:26

Thank you all. You have all helped me so much through a difficult, sad day.

OP posts:
Mumsgirls · 03/12/2024 20:06

It’s a year since my boy had to be put to sleep.Heartbroken, but felt it was the last gift for him to go on my knee being stroked. He was a lap cat but could bite.
It’s horrible, but at least your puss had a final illness and not the horror of a road death or going missing. Loved to the end. I hated getting up to a quiet house and a clean kitchen floor. I intended to wait months before considering another boy, but a friend new a gentle cat who had be living on allotments and sleeping in a greenhouse for two years. I took him in and he healed my heart. Obviously he had been a house cat and not a feral. There is so much need out there.

Big hug as you mourn your puss. But you have the comfort of how you loved each other. Take care