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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Ageing Cat. Support.

251 replies

TabbyTatCat · 03/10/2024 13:25

Hello.

I didn't realise there was a cat section. My lovely boy is nearly 18 & seems to be ageing rapidly the past few months. He's losing his hearing & has also stopped grooming himself.

Is that normal? He currently has a matted section on his back so I need to get that sorted (it's only small, I noticed it today)

He's very noisy, he's always meowing, this hasn't changed, although he used to hear us coming behind him, hear us opening the bedroom window if we were upstairs & he was at the back of the garden, not facing us, & he'd turn & start meowing... Now he won't notice at all or if we are calling him then he will occasionally start looking around, but he can't locate the sound.

He still follows us down the road to the shops but he just kind of sits there gazing into the distance as he can't hear us coming back now, whereas before, he'd hear us from halfway down the road & come charging, meowing.

He has 3 legs but has always been independent & loves being outside. He gets lots of attention from the neighbours/strangers, because of his meowing & then the 3 legs. He runs in like a zig-zag pattern. I joke that he lays on his side across the path, to show everybody that he only has 3 legs, so that they will give him attention!

I'm not sure what I want with this thread really, just to know that there are others out there maybe, to chat about fellow cat-related issues with! I feel really sad that he seems to be getting old so fast, & can't imagine him ever not being here. I got him when he was 2.

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TabbyTatCat · 22/12/2025 22:48

Thank you for all of the support.

The kids are confused now thinking it's some kind of Christmas miracle & he's all better.

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TabbyTatCat · 24/12/2025 13:01

I put my cats collar back on today & let him into the garden. I've unsealed the cat flap. I'm not letting him go out the front door but (when he's feeling well) he climbs the 6 foot back gate & takes himself round.

I'm hoping that he doesn't do this obviously, & I don't think that he will. He asked to go into the garden 3 times yesterday for wees... including me standing out there in my pjs with him at 2am whilst he drank from his bucket (his new favourite)Grin I'm still sleeping downstairs with him but will be upstairs tonight.

He also did a poo in the corner of the room this morning, so whatever the vet did seems to have kick started things in that respect, & I feel cruel not letting him out for the toilet since he's obviously not taking to the litter tray.

He had a little tumble yesterday which was a heart in mouth moment (we heard it but didn't see it) but other than that he's doing really well.

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HarryPotterandtheClimateofFear · 24/12/2025 14:18

This is wonderful @TabbyTatCat ! I’ve been thinking of you and hope you all have a lovely, peaceful Christmas. When the time does come for him to go you will feel so much more at peace with the decision having had these extra days/weeks with him.

I hope all the rest of you and your elderly cats are doing okay.

CaveMum · 24/12/2025 17:17

Glad to hear he’s still rallying @TabbyTatCat.

Things are steady here, perhaps slightly improved. DCat appeared upstairs this morning for the first time in weeks, she used to sleep on my legs every night but she’s finding the stairs too much these days so sleeps on a heat pad in the living room.

Sewaccidentprone · 24/12/2025 20:08

Glad you’re getting more time with your boy. It’s not easy deciding what’s best.

i honestly thought dc1 wouldn’t last much longer, but since his arthritis injection he’s really perked up. He also went to the vets to have his claws clipped. He gets a bit matted and if I cut them out I usually lose a piece of skin. They said he has very agile hips for his age.

TabbyTatCat · 25/12/2025 00:40

Thank you Sewaccidentprone. I'm glad to hear that your boy is doing well too.
Mine is on daily medicine for his arthritis, it's the only one out of the 3 that he actually likes the taste of, so I give it to him last.

Thank you for all of your kindness & support, HarryPotterandtheClimateofFear. I truly hope that this 'first' Christmas isn't too hard for you all.

CaveMum I'm really pleased to hear this, I hope that things continue in a positive way for you over Christmas.

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TabbyTatCat · 25/12/2025 11:27

He's ventured onto the arm of the armchair today. He's done this deliberately as he knows that I'm leaving him for a few hours & it's the most that I've left him since he hurt his legs, so he's making me feel guilty like 'But if you leave me, I might fall'Grin

Merry Christmas everybodySmile

Ageing Cat. Support.
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HarryPotterandtheClimateofFear · 25/12/2025 14:40

Oh bless his darling furry socks, he is so beautiful.

I showed my DP this poem earlier. I was surprised he’d never seen it before because I read it a lot in the last couple of years of our cat’s life and it made me howl every time.

Anyway here it is as a Christmas gift to you all.

Ageing Cat. Support.
TabbyTatCat · 25/12/2025 18:20

Thank you HarryPotterandtheClimateofFear.

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Puppylucky · 26/12/2025 17:30

Oh he's so beautiful 😍 @TabbyTatCat What are the charms around his neck - he looks very on trend!

TabbyTatCat · 26/12/2025 17:52

PuppyluckyGrin They are scratched now, I was going to order new ones for Christmas but didn't...

The Green one is the bell that comes with the collar, Red is an 'Extra loud bell' (he has 2 since he's deaf now) I love this one as it sounds kind of like a cow bell, I've never heard anything like it for a pet collar!
Silver is his name/phone no.

Ageing Cat. Support.
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TabbyTatCat · 26/12/2025 18:03

When I got home yesterday I couldn't find him, I got myself into a right state, I was dragging furniture out, scrabbling around in the (long) grass in the garden, I flung the (clean but not put away) washing all over the bathroom in case he was in the basket...

I went round the whole house twice, I then sat down on my bed, crying, trying to just breathe... Then I noticed a slight movement right opposite me. He's hidden himself under a load of stuff in my room, perfectly happy, sleeping.

I don't really want him going up & down the stairs with his poorly legs but he seems to be doing ok. He was also there when I woke up this morning so it's his new favourite. I also put one of his beds back in my room, where it used to be too, as he was looking for it.

It's hard isn't it, you want to.keep them safe but also want them to have some joy, & he obviously wants to be upstairs for now (& it was nice to wake up & see him straight away away)

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Puppylucky · 26/12/2025 18:31

Oh bless you - I know how it feels to have a boy that causes you worry. Can I just say ( from bitter experience) that looking after a frailer cat is a marathon not a sprint and as hard as it is you do need to find a way to try not to worry. 99% of the time they are fine and it's important not to burn yourself out. Sending you solidarity 💐

TabbyTatCat · 26/12/2025 18:53

Thank you Puppylucky I know. I know you are right. He's only been really poorly for 11 days & it's been such a difficult time, with the confusion & thinking that I was going to have to let him go.

The whole house has been turned upside down for him.

Even the Christmas presents were left in the middle of the living room, so that he was able to access under the tree.

It's a blessing & a curse really, that I'm able to be home so much lately, as it fills me with such anxiety when I do have to leave him!

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CaveMum · 02/01/2026 14:16

We’ve said goodbye to DCat today. She’d slowly been going downhill and this morning rapidly deteriorated and couldn’t walk without slipping or falling over.

It was very quick and peaceful, the vets were great. She slipped away while I stroked her and told her we loved her.

We’re all devastated though. I miss her so much already.

Puppylucky · 02/01/2026 14:20

So sorry to hear that @CaveMum

TabbyTatCat · 02/01/2026 15:01

I'm so sorry CaveMum I'm glad that you were with her. She was so loved. I'm really sorry that this happened. Sending you love. xxx

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CaveMum · 02/01/2026 20:46

Thanks both. It’s been a tough afternoon. DH and I have talked, we know we made the right decision but it’s still so hard.

HarryPotterandtheClimateofFear · 02/01/2026 21:51

I’m so sorry @CaveMum. All the love to you and your family and I know you’ll cherish the memories of your precious girl. The bereavement is just awful, we’re all here with you xxx

TabbyTatCat · 02/01/2026 23:29

CaveMum We are here if you need us.

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CaveMum · 03/01/2026 10:14

Thanks again folks. No one slept particularly well. I’m proud with the way the kids are handling it (they’re 11 and 8) - they’re talking about who they feel and we’re all being open about being sad and have cried with each other.

It all feels very strange this morning. I always had my little routine of get up, check her heat pad was on, have a cuddle, give her her medication and put down food and fresh water before making myself a coffee.

I’ve left all her stuff out, apart from cleaning out the food bowls. Can’t bear to put any of it away just yet.

It’s other stuff too, like we had to put puppy pads under the front door mat because she liked to pee on it occasionally. But now I don’t need to check/change them.

I know it will get better. I’ve been here before many years ago with our family dog who we got when I was about 5 and lost when I was 18.

HarryPotterandtheClimateofFear · 03/01/2026 10:52

Yes one of the hardest things for us was how empty the time and the house felt without our girl. They take a lot of looking after near the end and it kind of creeps up on you so you only realise when they’re gone. 💐

TabbyTatCat · 03/01/2026 14:46

CaveMum I feel for you all & know exactly what you mean. We love them & they need us, so they take up a lot of our headspace, don't they. I hope that you are all alright today.

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YoghurtPotWashingMachine · 03/01/2026 17:47

Sorry to hear this @CaveMum. Hope you're doing OK x

TabbyTatCat · 06/01/2026 08:56

We've had a lovely few days, my boy has been almost back to his old self, charging from room to room randomly, making us laugh, trying to snatch food from the kids plates when they are eating in front of the TV, & making himself new areas to curl up in.

Both litter trays are finally being properly used, no more toilet thing behind the TV, that was a long battle!
He still pops outside every now & then for a little wander, he will attempt the cat flap & I let him, but generally he then turns & calls to me (the limited strength in one front paw is making the flap difficult) so I go & open the door & leave it open for when he comes back (I don't mind freezing whilst it's snowy out & the back door is open, for my boy!)

Yesterday though I asked the vet for some more of his pain killer. They said this was given as a one off & I apologized that they'd probably told me this but my brain is fried & I can't remember, with everything that has happened recently.

They said that I could take him in for a quick check up & he can have some more pain killers if it's helping. So I did this.

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