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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Ageing Cat. Support.

251 replies

TabbyTatCat · 03/10/2024 13:25

Hello.

I didn't realise there was a cat section. My lovely boy is nearly 18 & seems to be ageing rapidly the past few months. He's losing his hearing & has also stopped grooming himself.

Is that normal? He currently has a matted section on his back so I need to get that sorted (it's only small, I noticed it today)

He's very noisy, he's always meowing, this hasn't changed, although he used to hear us coming behind him, hear us opening the bedroom window if we were upstairs & he was at the back of the garden, not facing us, & he'd turn & start meowing... Now he won't notice at all or if we are calling him then he will occasionally start looking around, but he can't locate the sound.

He still follows us down the road to the shops but he just kind of sits there gazing into the distance as he can't hear us coming back now, whereas before, he'd hear us from halfway down the road & come charging, meowing.

He has 3 legs but has always been independent & loves being outside. He gets lots of attention from the neighbours/strangers, because of his meowing & then the 3 legs. He runs in like a zig-zag pattern. I joke that he lays on his side across the path, to show everybody that he only has 3 legs, so that they will give him attention!

I'm not sure what I want with this thread really, just to know that there are others out there maybe, to chat about fellow cat-related issues with! I feel really sad that he seems to be getting old so fast, & can't imagine him ever not being here. I got him when he was 2.

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TabbyTatCat · 29/10/2025 06:37

Iamthemoom I'm so very sorry for you all, it sounds horrendous, your pain is real. It's absolutely heartbreaking isn't it.

I am glad that you have your young ones to bring you joy.

Years ago before I had my kids, I had a rabbit that died in a terrible way & I couldn't bring myself to get any more. My kids want one now but I just can't.

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HarryPotterandtheClimateofFear · 06/11/2025 15:03

Hello. Think we will be having our old girl pts on Monday. She was already middle aged when we adopted her but we think she is 19. She was diagnosed a couple of years back with all sorts - kidney stones, something going on with her pancreas, a bowel thing that was likely cancer - and she’s had ongoing problems with her ears and went deaf about 5 years ago. She’s done so well but she’s declined over the past few months gradually and then rapidly over the past couple of weeks and now she is barely eating and the vet says there is nothing more he can do. She’s had a wonderful life with us and I know it’s the right time but my god it hurts so fucking much. It’s comforting to read this thread and know there are so many others out there loving their elderly cats and eventually having to make heartbreaking decisions.

HelenInHeels · 06/11/2025 16:47

Having my 20 year old girl PTS when her kidneys failed traumatised me. I'd had her half my life. Then my 18 year old boy for the same reason last summer. I got extra cats and I love them but I miss my original ones.

I've learned to focus on the good times with them.

TabbyTatCat · 06/11/2025 23:09

HarryPotterandtheClimateofFear I'm so, so sorry. I will be thinking of you on Monday, & here if you want to talk. Sending you a hug.

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Iamthemoom · 07/11/2025 06:07

@HarryPotterandtheClimateofFear I’m so sorry. I’ve lost two elderly cats now and it’s heartbreaking. You’ve given her such a loving home and a wonderful life and although it is agony for you it’s the kindest thing for her. Sending you strength and thinking of you as you face this heartbreaking decision.

TabbyTatCat · 03/12/2025 13:21

HarryPotterandtheClimateofFear I hope you are okFlowers

My poor boy is struggling on, he now has an infection in his mouth & his weight has dropped again, from 3.6 to 3.1 (I think that's kg) so he's had an antibiotic for his mouth but it's still very tender for him & he isn't eating.

Because of the weight loss they've bought his next blood test forward from February to January, but if he doesn't start eating then I have to take him back tomorrow.

The vet said 'He's 18 & a half?' I said 'No, actually, he's 19 at some point in December'.

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YoghurtPotWashingMachine · 05/12/2025 22:21

@TabbyTatCat did he start eating? x

TabbyTatCat · 05/12/2025 23:28

Hi YoghurtPotWashingMachine. He isn't eating much but a few mouthfuls here & there. So I'm happy with this but it needs to increase.

He did let me clean around the side of his mouth yesterday afternoon,
(it really was looking horrible, all weepy & pussy)
& It's stayed dry so that's a positive.

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YoghurtPotWashingMachine · 05/12/2025 23:36

I hope his mouth is better soon. I'm sure you will have thought of this but will he eat those lick-e-lix things?

TabbyTatCat · 05/12/2025 23:40

Thank you YoghurtPotWashingMachine. No he doesn't like those.

I'm doing him tiny pieces of chicken mixed in a little cream cheese & he's enjoying this. Won't touch any of his usual cat meats or his Renal one. He's also had a little skinless sausage.

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HarryPotterandtheClimateofFear · 06/12/2025 12:34

Thank you everyone for thinking of us. Our old lady pulled through and we had another month with her before we had to say goodbye yesterday. I am absolutely knocked sideways by how sad I feel. It was definitely time and it happened peacefully at home, the vet couldn’t have been kinder. But knowing we’re never going to see her again is absolutely devastating.

@TabbyTatCat she also got more and more picky about her food towards the end. We spent a fortune on various things to try and tempt her - raw fillet steak, raw chicken livers, salmon etc etc 😭 We found she’d like something for a day and then go off it so we had to chop and change a lot. I think she was finding it hard to swallow in the last couple of weeks. Lidl do little tins of mousse in turkey and trout flavour and she liked those, also cat soup.

It’s such a worry when they won’t eat and the weight starts to drop off because it’s really hard to get it back on again.

sending you love 😻

TabbyTatCat · 06/12/2025 14:38

HarryPotterandtheClimateofFear I'm so, so sorry to read this. She had a lovely life & was surrounded by your love at the end. It's so sad, I'm glad you got to have a little more time together.

Last night my boy ate 2 bowls of food through the night & he's had some soup today, that's the most he's eaten for a week, so hopefully his mouth is feeling better.

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HarryPotterandtheClimateofFear · 06/12/2025 15:26

Ah that’s so good to read, hope he continues to do well!

TabbyTatCat · 07/12/2025 00:10

Thank you for the support, HarryPotterandtheClimateofFear.

Today was definitely the day when he got his appetite back, he's currently munching on some more Chicken & cream cheese, & he finished his whole can of soup!

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CaveMum · 07/12/2025 08:36

Glad to hear DCatd improving @TabbyTatCat and so sorry for your loss @HarryPotterandtheClimateofFear.

Our old girl is still going, though has definitely slowed down in recent weeks: her appetite has reduced despite the stimulant she is given and she’s spending most of her time asleep on her heat pad. Her last set of bloods showed signs of kidney disease so we’ve switched her to a kidney friendly biscuit alongside her regular meat and she seems to like those.

I’ve got the feeling that the time is near, she’ll be 20 in May, but I’m just hoping we can get through Christmas for the kid’s sakes. Obviously we’ll do the right thing by DCat, whenever it is needed.

HarryPotterandtheClimateofFear · 07/12/2025 08:47

That’s so wonderful that he’s rallied @TabbyTatCat 🩷 @CaveMum our girl was also on appetite stimulant medication, it’s good stuff! But she refused point blank to eat the kidney food (after we spent £50 on it 🙄) so you’re lucky there. Sounds like she will definitely still be with you this Christmas but it’s so hard to walk the quality of life line. What finally decided it for us wasn’t just that she was losing weight so quickly no matter what we did food wise but she had pretty much constant diarrhoea and couldn’t keep herself clean. Their lives just get smaller and smaller towards the end, it’s so sad.

CaveMum · 07/12/2025 11:42

Thanks @HarryPotterandtheClimateofFear, I’m hoping so too but definitely feels like there’s been a shift in her behaviour in the last few weeks. Maybe it’s just the cold, apart from the kidney issue her bloods were all excellent.

TabbyTatCat · 07/12/2025 19:48

HarryPotterandtheClimateofFear I am sorry for what you went through. The 'lives getting smaller' comment bought a lump to my throat. My cat is on & off with the renal food too. He's still eating well today though.

CaveMum I hope that your cat is just feeling the cold, like you say.

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HarryPotterandtheClimateofFear · 07/12/2025 20:55

We are so so sad. Towards the end she became really high maintenance what with buying food from different places, trying to persuade her to eat, watching the litter trays like a hawk, giving her her medication, checking up on her etc etc and now there is all this empty time. I keep crying and our other cat is clearly grieving too even though they never got on particularly well, she’s spending almost all her time asleep. It’s just an awful loss.

TabbyTatCat · 07/12/2025 21:38

HarryPotterandtheClimateofFearFlowers They dominate everything, don't they, when you are doing your very best for them & loving them with everything that you have. Let the tears flow, it is a huge loss for you all.

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spinningpenguin · 13/12/2025 19:42

Hello fellow cat slaves, I regularly read all the cat threads on here, and have been following this one as my beautiful furry soulmate is 16.5, she had slight kidney issues for a while and has been on renal dry food due to that for few years. She has been on the meds for thyroid and kidneys since the summer.

She improved and put weight on but has taken turn for the worse this last few weeks and I suddenly have found myself bereft, heart broken and facing one of the hardest desicions I have to make. How will I live without her?

She was adopted as as a kitten by my partner and although I came into her life nearly 12 years ago she is my soul mate, my first baby, my little confidante. It just hurts so much. I don't know why am I writing all this. We haven't told anyone yet, i don't think they would understand, not really. Vet said it's a matter of days, she is still trying to eat, i bought her a fresh steak, it's her favourite and was never allowed much of it, but now it makes no difference and we just want her to have a good last few days. She seems so frail now and has stopped grooming but she still uses the litter...I clean her regularly with a damp warm towel... I brush her gently... she comes on me and nests in her favourite place, near my neck, her purrs are so weak now and she seems bit lost. I just dont know when is the time? I feel so guilty. Can someone help please, how do you know when is the time?

And what do I do without her? Vet said she is not in pain, my beautiful girl, how i love her. She is so attached to me and i am not particularly religious but am hoping so so desperately that there is another realm where she will continue her journey.... I adore her, she is the only one that never makes me angry, even when she makes me angry. How can someone so perfect even exist? Every part of her is simply perfect, every hair, every whisker, her beautiful little wet nose and green eyes... her soft tabby furr with white and mocha colour around her neck, chest and belly.... the way she talks to me with her little chirps. Her psycho personality when it comes to other cats.

Sorry for blabbing, Im just in pain and not sure how to handle all this. Thank you for reading.

TabbyTatCat · 13/12/2025 20:06

Hi spinningpenguin, Your beautiful cat sounds so loved, thank you for sharing this, I don't have the knowledge that you are asking for but hopefully somebody else will come along.

I am glad that you've had lots of lovely years together but I'm so sorry for you, going through all of this now. It sounds heartbreaking for you. You are welcome on hereFlowers

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spinningpenguin · 13/12/2025 20:37

@TabbyTatCatThank you for your kind words and the welcome. Yes, so many wonderful years together, adventures, and so, so much warmth.

HarryPotterandtheClimateofFear · 13/12/2025 20:45

Oh @spinningpenguin it’s just awful isn’t it? I am so sad for you and your beautiful girl. Are you able to get the vet to come and put her to sleep at home when the time comes? I am so glad we did that. The morning we said goodbye to our cat was so peaceful - she didn’t want to eat much but she came downstairs at her normal mealtimes, she had some licky licks, huge fuss from DP and me and a lovely long purr, then when the vet came it was honestly all so calm. I know for sure she felt safe and loved right until the last second and she wasn’t afraid at all. It is the last and hardest loving thing you can do for them.

the one thing that helped us decide was knowing that if we risked another weekend at home with her we might not have been able to give her that peaceful end and it could all have ended in a massive crisis, trip to emergency vet etc.

she is so loved. I know you will do what is best for her even if it feels like your heart is shattering into a million pieces.

spinningpenguin · 14/12/2025 12:12

Oh @HarryPotterandtheClimateofFearit's like someone is crushing my heart repeatedly, I have this yapping, raw, black hole in my chest... She is sleeping alot, getting up less and less...

Thank you for sharing your experience. Yes, we will arrange for a home visit, she hates the vet clinique, and i don't want to cause her any distress or fear. It's looking like it will be in a day or two. I am sorry for your loss Flowers

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