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Original poster

My darling cat died

69 replies

DearRussell · 22/09/2024 12:23

My beautiful boy died on Friday. He was almost 15 and I took him to the vet because of drastic weight loss. He was the heart of our family. The vet examined him and said it’s very bad news. He has cancer and needs to be put to sleep.
im still reeling. She let me take him home for a few hours so my children said goodbye. I even took my little boy out of school for a bit to say goodbye.
when the awful time came I held him in my arms and took his last breaths with him.
i am broken. Overwhelmed with sadness

OP posts:
loopsaloo · 01/10/2024 23:09

Just wanted to share my story - my boy Salem had to be helped to sleep on Friday.
I only had him three years, he was 15.
I feel like I'll never be the same again.
I'm going to have his ashes made into a ring.
He also had an undiagnosed cancer that hit him like a ton of bricks.
I really do feel your pain xxx

Original poster
DearRussell · 01/10/2024 23:45

I’m so sorry for you and for Salam. The jewellery idea is very special. I truly understand how everyone is feeling and thank you everyone for sharing here. I’m in bed crying

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loopsaloo · 02/10/2024 07:06

@DearRussell I hope you have a easier day today. Sending love

sashh · 02/10/2024 07:52

So sorry.

Mine's 14 and I'm dreading the day she is no longer around.

shellyleppard · 02/10/2024 07:53

So so sorry for your loss. People say its only a cat but they are our friends. Companions and always there x sending hugs 🫂 💐 🙏 ❤️

Danascully2 · 02/10/2024 08:10

So sorry for your loss. We lost our old boy about 9 months ago aged at least 16 and I still miss him so much. In our case it was more of a gradual decline which I suppose meant I knew it was coming but also was hard because I had to decide where to draw the line between 'elderly but doing ok and still enjoying life' and 'actually not really enjoying life anymore'. The vets were great and it was all very peaceful on the day but just so so sad.
I know you're probably not ready yet to think about options but in case you want to look back at this for ideas in future, I got a picture of him in his younger days for the wall and also a little engraved stone for the garden from a company called Churchyard Angels. It is small and portable so would be fine in rented as you could take it with you if you move. We buried most of his ashes under it and scattered some in his favourite bits of the garden.
There is absolutely no rush to decide what is right for you, you can take your time.

Original poster
DearRussell · 02/10/2024 11:02

Thank you so much everyone. I’m still in bed today. Can’t really function. But thank you for the understanding

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Pudmyboy · 03/10/2024 12:06

How are you doing today @DearRussell ?

CatChant · 03/10/2024 12:33

One day at a time@DearRussell . It will get easier.

HiThereBatFace · 03/10/2024 12:41

So sorry to read this. It's horribly sad when they die

Gently though, perhaps consider seeing your GP if this overwhelming feeling continues and you're not able to get out of bed and look after your children? That won't do you or them any good at all.

And Russell would not want you to be so incapacitated by grief. You did a wonderful thing for him

Original poster
DearRussell · 03/10/2024 14:20

Thank you. Yes I’m feeling incapacitated.
this evening I have to go out and view a secondary school so I must try to start recovering. I’m normally strong. I try to model resilience to my children but this loss has overwhelmed me.

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CinnyQ · 05/10/2024 12:20

I was thinking about you @DearRussell How are you doing?

Original poster
DearRussell · 05/10/2024 15:03

CinnyQ · 05/10/2024 12:20

I was thinking about you @DearRussell How are you doing?

Thank you so much. I really appreciate your message. I’m trying hard to recover. Yesterday I did the school run myself for the first time since Russell died.
I made the mistake of opening an email from the vet when I was out and it was the bill for his euthanasia. Detailing the drugs they used and asking me for prompt payment. It was shocking but I understand it’s nothing personal towards me. It’s going to be an automatic process of billing people. On the day he died I paid for his consultation and when I was asked for nothing after he died I thought maybe the consultation fee covered the death.
im perfectly fine to pay it but it was a shock and I couldn’t help crying in the street. My fault for that though.
im so sorry for everyone going through this grief and im just trying to pull myself through it.

At the crematorium there was a book for children talking about the loss of a loved pet from a child’s perspective. they gave me the book to take home and last night my little boy got into my bed and I read it to him. I actually managed to do it without crying and I was able to pretend that I was ok and then I answered some of his questions about what happened.

next week I want to buy thank you cards for the people who helped me when I was distraught. The lovely lady on the meat counter at Waitrose who gave me Russell’s last steak and wouldn’t take payment.

the vet who had to break the news to me and then see me in such a distracted state of despair. And she allowed me to hold Russell for so long after he died.

and the lady at the crematorium who got me off the floor in the chapel and sat with me and made me a cup of tea and was so incredibly kind.

I want to buy small gifts for all these people and a thank you card. And that will be from me and from Russell. I feel it will tie loose ends and let move forward.

OP posts:
Original poster
DearRussell · 05/10/2024 15:07

@CinnyQ how are you managing now?

I have also lost my parents and it was not as bad as the loss of my cats.

I don’t have my own home so couldn’t bury him but I came home from the crematorium with his ashes.

I’m so sorry for your loss too

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CatChant · 05/10/2024 15:18

“When you are going through hell, keep going,” is a saying I have found helpful in the past.

Keep going @DearRussell . Everything comes to an end, including the bad times.

Original poster
DearRussell · 05/10/2024 15:20

CatChant · 05/10/2024 15:18

“When you are going through hell, keep going,” is a saying I have found helpful in the past.

Keep going @DearRussell . Everything comes to an end, including the bad times.

Thank you. And yes I love that saying too

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CinnyQ · 05/10/2024 15:26

DearRussell · 05/10/2024 15:07

@CinnyQ how are you managing now?

I have also lost my parents and it was not as bad as the loss of my cats.

I don’t have my own home so couldn’t bury him but I came home from the crematorium with his ashes.

I’m so sorry for your loss too

I am OKish, thanks. My cat was PTS a week ago today, so I do feel sad. The house just isn't the same without her.

I can understand how upsetting opening that bill was. I had to contact the vet about something related to the insurance. I couldn't phone as I knew I would get upset, so sent an email and even that made me cry a bit.

It will slowly get easier for all of us who have lost our lovely cats recently ❤️ to everyone.

Igmum · 05/10/2024 17:35

So sorry Flowers been there a few times and it's devastating. Sending love ❤️

Original poster
DearRussell · 06/10/2024 00:46

Igmum · 05/10/2024 17:35

So sorry Flowers been there a few times and it's devastating. Sending love ❤️

Thank you. I’m still struggling. I have moments when I think I’m ok and can feel rational. But then I’m so not ok

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