Having cats made me not want children

[Thecandywomancan]

Thought I wanted children, got two cats, don’t want kids anymore. This is a lighthearted post but it’s also true. They’ve made me realise I don’t think I’d cope. I wouldn’t be able to cope with anything more than I have now, I’m run ragged!

Before cats I really thought they were just chilled and easy.. I never imagined they would rule my life 😂

Nah.
We have two. Got them as kittens. They're nine now. We feed 'em and change their litter. Other than that, it's cuddles and more cuddles!

They were a bit of a pain as kittens, chasing each other around the house, up and down the stairs all night keeping us awake. But that phase didn't last long.

They eat, sleep, poo, wee and cuddle. And sleep some more. Mostly sleep.

Ok this sounds like what I had in mind!
we’re getting a young rescue so missed most of the kitten phase but waited to get one which was used to loud noises and kids wanting to pet it constantly!

Honestly, I have no idea. My kids stretch, challenge and place a host of demands on me every waking hour.

My cats hassle me for food twice a day and sometimes throw up on the carpet. The rest of the time they are pure entertainment and joy.They don't wake me up in the middle of the night for the simple reason I don't allow them in my bedroom at night. I'm currently in bed, and they are asleep on/ next to me, being gorgeous soft warm lumps. DS2 has just come in and talked at me about Minecraft for 20 minutes until I begged him to leave me in peace.

We're going on holiday on Sunday, and I'm leaving the cats at home with a local teenager coming in to feed them once a day. Try doing that with kids! 😆

I've had 3 cats in my life and found them unbelievably low-effort pets. In what way are your cats such hard work?! Dogs are certainly an effort. Children too!

Cats are vastly superior to children, other pets and most other humans too. So there! 😉

It’s not about the cats, it’s about me. I’ve learnt that I’m not the type of person who can deal with it. I can only just about manage the demands of my cats and it’s made me realise I couldn’t cope with kids. I don’t think many people feel this way though, plenty of people have kids plus animals or even 3 or 4 cats and are fine.Its just about the type of person you are, so I’m glad I got cats before the commitment of children!

i was fine with 1 cat but in hindsight probably shouldn’t have got a second. Both cats are very needy and I’m constantly up and down catering to their constant demands, to and fro from the vets spending so much money, waking me up throughout the night or very early in the morning, scratching the furniture, fighting with each other, worrying me into a frenzy when they’ve been out all day and still not come home for their tea. A few weeks ago one of mine didn’t come home until 3am and I couldn’t sleep until he was back. Just a constant source of worry and money for me in my experience. But they are less than 2 years old, so I’m sure they will mellow with age

We had already made the decision not to have children but getting cats strengthen our decision. My DH is definitely the good cop and I'm the bad cop and it would 100% be that way with kids 😂

I'm confused by this. I have 2 DC boys and 2 male cats. The DC are relentless in needs, noise and associated cleaning and laundry and cooking and planning.

My two cats lie outside my bedroom door in the morning looking cute. I feed them and then they disappear into the garden or come inside for cuddles or a play. Then I feed them at teatime. Sometimes yes I need to wipe up a bit of vom but the fact that they let me scoop them up for big smoooshy hugs far outweighs any downsides. Especially since my children won't let me hug them anymore.

Right now I'd happily take the child over the cat. The child at least has slept through the night since she was 2. The cat either doesn't come home until 4am, or if she's home she wants to go out at 4am. Either way, I'm getting out of my nice warm bed at 4am.

Just get a cat flap 🤷‍♀️ I genuinely don't know what time mine are in and out at night.

Nah - we can leave our cats for a couple of days no problem. You may get into bother trying it with 7 year old DS 😁.
Also, cats don't yammer for games, trainers, sweets, stress about friendships, school, tell us they're bored every five minutes, make lots of noise or take up vaping before they hit the teen years.

Unfortunately neither of our doors are suitable for catflaps.

We have a drawbridge system that leads from the top of the shed to an upstairs window that she uses during the day to stop me having to get up every half an hour when working from home. But the drawbridge gets pulled up at night, while I don't think it would support a human, I'm not willing to risk it.

I think you just have very good cats because mine are extremely vocal and DO yammer about all sorts. Most of the time I have no idea what they want. Yowling to go out, yowling to come in, can’t make up their mind if they want in or out, yowling for food but you put their food down and they don’t want that, decided they don’t like it anymore. Put down a different food instead. Still not good enough. Continue to yowl, ok do you want attention? Stroke them but they run off or bite you, come back to carry on yowling, ok do you want to play? Get out all of their toys and try to find which game they want to play. None of them work. Continue to yowl and stare at me! I don’t know what you want!! Constantly every day. My days in the office are a break from their relentless meowing

Are they neutered?

Honestly cats are ridiculously easy, they practically look after themselves! All you have to do is make sure that their needs are met (food, water, litter tray 2/3 times per day) and give them all the snuggles that they fancy. No need to panic at all - they are no trouble.

Dogs on the other hand… let’s just say that our golden retriever puppy has made me realise why I love cats so much 🤣

Ok this makes me feel better! The kids are hard enough work and I quite liked the idea of having the company of a cat without it shouting MUMMY at me every 0.75 seconds!
we haven’t yet met it yet but have been “matched” with it by the rescue so hopefully will all work out!

We had a cat growing up and she was no bother at all. I don't even think my parents took her for vaccinations every year. If we went on holiday she had access to the shed and a neighbour would feed her and that was that. Our current cat is treated like a princess and I worry about her constantly. She had the runs yesterday and I was so worried about her!

I have a dog and it really confirmed I wouldn't have coped with a child.

Agreed. I have a real nightmare of a cat who I love very much but is needy as hell and very vocal. I adore him and he's the most beloved member of our household bar none, but it turns out I quite resent the (very, very, very small, compared to having a child!) restrictions of having a living being reliant on me like needing to remember to book vaccinations and clean the litter tray and not being able to go away without planning for him and having to be home to make sure he's fed etc etc.

It really confirmed that I'd find the day to day requirements of parenthood stifling, even with the joy that I'm sure comes with it!

Yeah ☺️

Yes that’s exactly it! I think a few people have taken my post to mean that cats are really hard work, I don’t believe they are for everyone. It depends on the cat and it depends on you as a person. For me, it’s shown me that I can’t particularly handle the dependency of another living thing, and I find everything that comes with that a bit stressful. And if I feel that way about a cat, then it would be so much worse with a child!

@Thecandywomancan you realise that cats tend to love people who totally ignore them? Don’t be a slave to your cats as they will soon have you twisted round their furry little paws. They are the most joyful pet to have precisely because they are so easy..but if you have previously had a dog you might still be in dog mode which is a whole different ball game.

Could have written every word of this! Except I have a needy little madam rather than a boy cat.

My cat is very easy and delightful, but having her has made me realise I would have been a crap parent as my cat has me wrapped around her little finger and I am unable to set any boundaries with her. I would 100% have been one of the ineffectual parents MN posters so often (and justifiably) complain about