First Time Cat Owners- What do we need to know?

[WomanInTheBoat]

Hi
My partner and I are considering getting a cat and we need to know what to expect.

We are both nearing retirement and live in a quiet neighbourhood. Both have many years experience of dog ownership but after the last 2 elderly dogs died a few years ago we decided not to replace them. Mainly because we like the freedom to go out for the day, go away for weekends etc etc.

However, we do miss having an animal and wonder whether we might be the right home for a cat. Must admit to feeling a bit nervous as have never lived with a cat and know very little about them.

These are the thoughts we’ve had so far.

Should we get a kitten or an older cat?
Thinking a female but is there much difference in behaviour etc.?
We would like it to go outside so would have a cat flap - don’t mind having a litter tray as well if needed.
We have adult children living locally who have all said they’d be happy to come feed it whilst we are out/away.

Does anyone have any thoughts/advice for us?

One counter-intuitive thing about cats is they generally do not like direct eye contact. They take it as aggressive. So if you'd like to make friends then blink slowly at them. It is what is behind that odd phenomenon where cats always gravitate towards that one person who doesn't like cats - it is specifically because that one person who doesn't like cats doesn't try to make eye contact with them!

This is what my Cat would've said

Don't bother with toys. The seal off a milkshake bottle is far more superior

Don't bother with Cat beds, I'll probably sleep in it once just to appease you, then I'll find some other weird and wonderful place to sleep. Probably your lovely clean washing or the narrow windowsill that I clearly don't fit on. You can forget having leg space in the bed, because I will stretch out as long as is physically possible

I'll absolutely adore whiskers chicken or tuna, yet as soon as you buy me a huge box of it I will no longer like it and will turn my nose up at it

I will also make sure I vomit, Chuck a hair ball up smack bang on the rug or the carpet, not the wooden floors where it's easily cleaned up

But most of all I will love you unconditionally especially if you aren't a tight git with my treats 😹

Oh do it!! I have had cats all my life. I just love them! Our current gang are 7, 3 and 2, all rescues. I would definitely recommend getting two as company for each other when you do go out. Make sure they're a bonded pair! My Cat 1 doesn't like Cat 2 or Cat 3. I think she was cut out to be an 'only'! Cat 2 and Cat 3 are the best of buddies though!

Kittens will wreck the place! I love kittens but wouldn't adopt them again. Mine have done their share of wrecking and they were 5, 18 months and 18 months respectively when I adopted them! Go to a smaller local rescue because they will know more about the home that would be suitable for them. Our first girl came from CP and she had been isolated in her own pen so they didn't know how she would get on with other cats. When I adopted her, it didn't matter because I wasn't planning on getting another cat.... famous last words!

They love cardboard boxes and paper bags! The favourite toy of my three is that rigid tape you get around parcels. Endless hours of fun! Mine are all affectionate in their own way though some can be a bit more aloof.

All of mine also settled down pretty quickly. The Lady who came first didn't like the noise of appliances but accepted it soon enough. The Floof arrived as if she owned the place, and the Floof 2, although it took him a few days to really warm up, made himself right at home from the first night, even though he had been described as "shy"!!!

Your first mistake is right there in the title.

Cats don’t have owners. They have people who are happy to support them in their life style, but at anytime the relationship can be terminated if better people show up.

Dont worry about the rest, the cat will let you know what it needs, and when it needs it. Your job is to make sure the food is satisfactory and that there are suitable options available for sleeping, going out and coming in as required.

I have had many cats - biggest hunters have always been male. The queens might catch a yearly mouse...if they can be bothered.

Once you go cat, you don't go back.

Cats don’t have owners

True, they have staff. Which they gradually groom into adoring slaves.

Pet insurance from day one! Heart murmurs very common.

Two kittens, two male or a male & female. Though you want outdoor cats you will still be best to have a litter tray, indoor cat tree & a water fountain is much better than a water bowl. Feeding bowls should be shallow and wide so their whiskers do not keep rubbing against the sides when they eat & cats do not like putting their heads in deep bowls for their food. If they have long fur, keep on top of grooming, we have Maine coons & one is impossible to keep on top of matting! We always had dogs but now have two cats & they are so entertaining. Lastly, be prepared to be woken up for breakfast, cats have an internal alarm clock that always now when it is breakfast time, even at weekends! Enjoy xx

They like their water to be a distance away from their food too.

But they might not bother at all...most of my cats refused their own water, preferring to drink mine or from the tap 🙄

The moment you stock up on their favourite food, they'll go right off it

Don't waste money buying a cat bed.
Cats from rescue centres love you more
A cat flap is a sure way of getting "gifts" inside your home. The most gruesome gift my boy brought me through the cat flap was a pigeon. He left it under my bed. No cat flap in the new house. All the mice, rats and birds now have to stay outside.

They’re not always as independent as they’re claimed to be. Mine is very emotionally needy. When I go out, he pretty much just sits inside by the window waiting for me to come home.

I’ll leave him a few days with a twice daily sitter (who stays 30-45 minutes for play and cuddles), but beyond that I have to get a live in sitter - otherwise he pines terribly. So it’s not always as simple as having someone throw food at them twice a day.

A bonded pair of adults would be the simplest option. Kittens don’t always grow up to like each other, and a pair are less likely to be lonely when you’re not there. My enjoyment of holidays has taken a massive dive since cat ownership, as I spend half the time worrying about him.

Black cats are often last to be rehomed and I have a soft spot for them
Had two black male cats, both as soft as butter!
My current one likes to play fetch, demands belly rubs and will sit being fussed over all day

This is the best answer!

You also need to know to not be like this new owner!

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5040839-to-tell-her-to-get-lost

Here's a link. You need to look for the ones that are about in understanding cats and looking after their needs:

https://youtube.com/@JacksonGalaxy?si=5RStQ_BgkqjBBf1L

We learnt a lot from him.

Thank you to everyone who responded. Lots to think about!

We are definitely going for a rescue ( dogs were rescues) and it sounds as though we might be better looking at an adult rather than a kitten.

Will keep you updated!

Good luck!

Yes to a good insurance policy. Hopefully you'll not need it but surgery and dental treatment can quickly rack up.

Oh and just in case it saves anyone a trip to the vet: if they seem to have a sensitive tummy (not talking severe symptoms) apparently fish based foods, especially white fish, are far less likely to cause intolerances than any sort of meat, especially chicken apparently. Found out the pricey way not wanting to take chances!!

If you have two cats, they talk to each other. Mine are not vocal but they scheme against me, and they have a pecking order. One is the boss.
I'm 'mummy' - there to provide food and shelter, strokes and tummy tickles, and to clear any mess.
My previous cat was vocal. His personality was quite different.

You will not be first time cat owners.

You will be novice cat butlers. Your services must reach the highest standards. The cat will very generously train you io if you show promise.

If you discharge your duties well you will be infinitely rewarded.

My last two definitely conspired. The more confident one always checked situations out first & then reported back to her sister, including when they first arrived & every time I'd finished hoovering.

They also worked together to move a fairly long tunnel from the middle of the room to neatly lined up between the cat trees and the window, and I once caught them in the middle of stealing a bag containing the cat blanket I was working on for a friend. One was on the floor pulling it down by the handles while the other was on the table pushing.

@DuchessOfSausage @EmpressaurusOfTheScathingTinsel absolutely
I had 2 brothers & they never ceased to amaze me how they silently communicated quite complex concepts and plans - it's really something

the most important thing is to realise that you are not getting a cat.
the cat is getting you.
After his or her royal highness arrives, you will simply be guests in their home.
prepare to serve them loyally.

The kind of scene you can come home to with a bonded pair.