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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell her to get lost?

459 replies

Sportycustard · 01/04/2024 16:34

Just got home to find a note from my neighbour.

"Hi Sporty, just wanted to let you know that we're rehoming a couple of cats in the next week or two. I can see from our upstairs windows that you have some plants in your garden that are poisonous to cats so I will pop round in the next day or so and point them out so you can remove them in good time for our new arrivals"

I've just done a quick Google and it looks like she is referring to a rhododendron that was a gift from a friend who has now passed away and an azaelia that was a 50th birthday gift. Both are established shrubs and mean a lot to me.

AIBU to tell her my garden will be staying as it is?

OP posts:
DisforDarkChocolate · 01/04/2024 16:35

YANBU.

If she wants her cats to avoid poisonous plants she keeps her cats indoors or builds a catio.

HelloMiss · 01/04/2024 16:35

Azaleas and rhododendrons are beautiful established plants/shrubs

Tell her to do one! Cheek of her

rollerskatie · 01/04/2024 16:36

Wow, that’s bananas. Obviously you don’t need to change your garden for her. You can gently explain that the cats will instinctively stay away from those plants.

MuscariFan · 01/04/2024 16:37

😂In her dreams.

Mummame2222 · 01/04/2024 16:37

Jesus Christ her entitlement is astounding. Obviously YNBU.

CamoPenguin · 01/04/2024 16:38

YANBU! We used to live in an area with lots of cats, which used to come into our garden. We had quite a few plants that happened to be toxic to cats. A cat-loving friend said to me that it's the responsibility of owners to keep their cats indoors/in their own garden if they're worried about these risks. Freedom to roam comes with good and bad points.

MsFaversham · 01/04/2024 16:38

They aren’t going to eat them. She’s being ridiculous.

Solmum1964 · 01/04/2024 16:39

We have azaleas and rhododendrons in our garden.
Had cats for many years and many others visit the garden.
I've not heard of any issues so I'd ignore this!

EatCrow · 01/04/2024 16:40

Oh honestly, doesn’t she know how clever cats are?!

Hatty65 · 01/04/2024 16:40

I'd stand on the doorstep and say politely, 'I'm afraid your decision to acquire some pets doesn't automatically give you the right to re-design and uproot my garden plants. I won't be removing anything at all. This is a you issue. Goodbye'.

GrandHighPoohbah · 01/04/2024 16:40

That's insane levels of entitlement! Ask her if she's planning on asking everyone on the street to remove their plants 😁. But anyway, I have always had both cats and rhododendrons, and they have coexisted happily for years.

Bluevelvetsofa · 01/04/2024 16:41

Dear neighbour

Thanks for the heads up about the cats. I hope you have time to secure your house and garden, so that your new arrivals are able to stay within your garden and will be at no risk from any plants that are not good for them.

Thanks so much.

Deathbyfluffy · 01/04/2024 16:41

This is her problem, not yours. Make sure you have a Ring doorbell or CCTV as I bet she’ll remove them herself when you refuse.

NotTheMrMenAgain · 01/04/2024 16:41

She’s an entitled so-and-so! Definitely tell her to stroll on - the brass neck of her!

Pinkdelight3 · 01/04/2024 16:41

"Ha ha, no thanks. There's a road outside - are you going to remove that too? Or accept that you (and your cats) don't control the world."

WoodBurningStov · 01/04/2024 16:42

Tell them to sod off and get cctv or a ring door bell and tell them if they remove them without permission you'll be ringing the police - how fucking rude.

MinervaMcGonagallsCat · 01/04/2024 16:42

Neighbour is off her head

TTPD · 01/04/2024 16:42

"Dear neighbour, I will assume this is an April fools."

mbosnz · 01/04/2024 16:43

Um, I'd be chuckling a little. And responding, 'hi, no need to trouble yourself, because I won't be removing any of my plants. Hope you enjoy your new cats, including the responsibility for their whereabouts and welfare that you have chosen to take on. If concerned, you need to look into such options as catios or catproof fencing, if you're going to let them outside.'

Ponoka7 · 01/04/2024 16:43

Like a pp, I've got those shrubs and always had cats. I had a cat that ate tulips, which are supposed to be poisonous. Do you have lavender? Again my garden is full of it and it's doing the cats no harm.

Namerequired · 01/04/2024 16:44

Bluevelvetsofa · 01/04/2024 16:41

Dear neighbour

Thanks for the heads up about the cats. I hope you have time to secure your house and garden, so that your new arrivals are able to stay within your garden and will be at no risk from any plants that are not good for them.

Thanks so much.

This! Unless it is actually an April fools

Original poster
Sportycustard · 01/04/2024 16:46

Ponoka7 · 01/04/2024 16:43

Like a pp, I've got those shrubs and always had cats. I had a cat that ate tulips, which are supposed to be poisonous. Do you have lavender? Again my garden is full of it and it's doing the cats no harm.

Ohhhh have a whole border of lavender. Had no idea that was a problem either.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sportycustard · 01/04/2024 16:47

Hatty65 · 01/04/2024 16:40

I'd stand on the doorstep and say politely, 'I'm afraid your decision to acquire some pets doesn't automatically give you the right to re-design and uproot my garden plants. I won't be removing anything at all. This is a you issue. Goodbye'.

This is a good retort. Thanks

OP posts:
PurpleSky300 · 01/04/2024 16:47

YANBU. I would understand the neighbour's point to some degree if you had, I dunno, a garden brimming with lilies or something but one azalea? Cats are wary, they rarely eat or ingest plants that would be toxic to them. Most of my garden is cat-safe but I have some delphiniums and my cat has never been anywhere near them or shown the slightest interest, they are too high up.

Original poster
Sportycustard · 01/04/2024 16:49

PurpleSky300 · 01/04/2024 16:47

YANBU. I would understand the neighbour's point to some degree if you had, I dunno, a garden brimming with lilies or something but one azalea? Cats are wary, they rarely eat or ingest plants that would be toxic to them. Most of my garden is cat-safe but I have some delphiniums and my cat has never been anywhere near them or shown the slightest interest, they are too high up.

Oh heck I have delphiniums too.

She's probably got me down as a cat murderer. Honestly had no idea how much of my garden was risky to cats.

OP posts: