need a lap-cat... an impossible quest?

[CanadianJohn]

My wife is terminally ill, and will be coming home from the hospital... to die, essentially. She has perhaps 3 or 4 months to live.

My wife desperately wants a cat. Unfortunately, we had to have our cat p.t.s. a few months ago. However, my wife wants a 'lap-cat', a cat that will sit on the couch with her and watch TV, maybe even sleep with her.

So, how do I find a lap-cat... quickly. My current thought is to contact a cat-rescue place and see if they have an older cat who is really calm and placid.

Any thoughts.

It's not fair to the cat! Really?! I'm sure the OP will also foster his own relationship with it, and how attached will a cat get in a few months, a lot of that is in our heads anyway, cats like people who feed them. I think you can also provide each other great comfort when the time comes OP and you'll have the cat as a companion during a very difficult time.
I think your plan to call a rescue is a good one, I'd try smaller local ones at they tend to move faster.

If it's so unbelievable to you, then you've never been properly involved with cats or with cat rescue.

Thanks for all the comments. We've always had a cat... my wife's cat died shortly after we got together, but then it was Cuddles (18), Sweet Pea (12), and most recently Rosie (16). I was mostly the feeder, my wife cleaned the litter and bribed the cats with treats so they would watch TV with her.

My life wll change completely in a few months... in fact, it already has changed, with going to the hospital twice a day. I am well aware of the responsibilities of pet ownership... in fact, it's one of my concerns. I haven't lived alone for 48 years.

@RenovationRenovationRenovation you are absolutely wrong in your assumption

Don't let the horrible comments put you off @CanadianJohn - some people just can't help themselves.

Most rescues would love someone who is happy to take in an older cat 🥰

So sorry to hear of your story OP. Are you happy to keep the cat once she’s gone? It could be a good comfort to you. I would approach your local shelter and see if they can suggest a few older cats who like cuddles and go to meet them. Would your wife be well enough to go with you? If so, it might give her a lift and something to look forward to. If not, video call her from the shelter so she can see all the lovely kitties and be involved. I’m very much a cat person and would really appreciate this if I were in her position. Good luck.

Pets as therapy would be perfect for this situation.

I can also recommend ragdolls. We have a ragdoll mixed with burmese and it's a lovely combination of cuddly and needy. Mine meows at me until I sit down and they can have cuddles!!
Agree about getting an older one though. Ours climbed the curtains until they were 1!

Gosh I come to this from so many angles as a vet who sees the comfort pets provide in a variety of situations, as a vet who sees older cats sitting in rescue waiting for a home, as a cat slave myself and as the wife of someone who was a widower and cat slave when I meet him.
You clearly understand your responsibilities as an owner and I really hope a rescue helps you find the perfect cat to keep your wife company and to be your companion when you most need it.
My husband is currently seriously ill in hospital and every night my furry overlords come a snuggle with me showing me I am not alone and providing me with company in the long hours of the night.
Studies have shown that the cats purr reduces our stress hormones

There's a boy rag doll cat advertised on warrington animal welfare rescue if you're in the north west, he's called Steve and was found with a broken leg so had a back leg removed, so I'm sure he'd love a cosy bed.

In the unlikely event you are in Northern Ireland I can possibly help @CanadianJohn I'm sorry to hear about your wife's situation and I'm sure you will also be glad of the company

I have four ragdolls, and none of them are lap-cats,.... but
they are my shadows, if I'm in bed, they are on the bed with me. If I'm on the sofa, there is at least one of them on the sofa and the others are on the floor, windowsill, cat tree etc.
I absolutely adore them, and highly recommend Radgoll Rescue- I know the organisers personally and they will advise if they have a suitable cat for you, or if it is not in the best interests of the cat. They are lovely ladies, but the cats absolutely come first.

I cannot believe the negative comments on this thread. OP is trying to do something for his wife, a human being, to make her last months happier. And there are people telling him off for not thinking about the cat? I despair, I really do. Cats are attached to those who feed and care for them. They don’t mourn like dogs. And even if they did, it would be worth it. There are plenty of older cats in rescue who would be grateful for a home and a warm lap.

I am so sorry, Canadian John. Of course a cat would be a comfort to your wife.

I also think an elderly cat would be your best choice and if I were you I would contact a rescue centre, smaller ones are generally more knowledgeable about their charges I’ve found, and explain to them what you’ve posted here.

I can recommend a centre in south London if you are anywhere near.

Very sorry to hear the situation that you and your wife are in. Definately call local cat rescues. I'm sure somewhere will have an ideal cat that will be a lap cat to your wife and a companion to you. I've had cats dogs horses small furries all of my life - cats are great entertainment and can be lap cats. I've got two main coon x bsh 10th old (huge) kittens now. One is a lap cat, my shadow and wants constant affection.... her sister absolutely isn't!
I hope you find the ideal cat for you both. If you are willing to say where you are perhaps we can suggest some local rescues to try.

They don’t mourn like dogs.

Yes they do. I made the mistake of leaving DCat behind when I moved out of my mum's house. A year later, he still wouldn't bond with my mum, would sulk when I visited, and would search for me crying after I'd left.

He's now curled up in my home three feet from me. The only mistake I made during that move was not trusting him to move safely with me. That's a year of his too-short that should have been spent with me and we will never get back.

We found a lap cat, see my other thread here https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/the_litter_tray/5022968-we-found-a-lap-cat?reply=133865771

Ingles (rhymes with Jingles) 11 years old, been living in a high-rise apartment with an elderly man, who had to give up independent living because of his health.

My wife lived only 22 days at home. This is a picture about a week before her death, with Ingles or Jingles.

I am so sorry for your loss CanadianJohn. I hope Ingles was a comfort to your dear wife. I hope he will be a companion to you.

Take care.

Aww... they look so happy together. I'm glad you were able to fulfil her wish.

So sorry for your loss.
What a beautiful photo of them both and what a wonderful thing you did for your lovely wife.
I'm sure dcat bought her great comfort in her last days.
And I hope they will be good companionship for you now too.

So sorry for your loss but I hope the lovely Ingles was a comfort to her and will be a comfort to you. He sounds like the perfect kitty

I am so sorry for your loss @CanadianJohn. That's a lovely photo of your wife and Ingles. I hope he brought her comfort, and that he continues to bring comfort and be company to you.

Beautiful photo, I'm so sorry for your loss @CanadianJohn. Ingles/Jingles looks like he was born for the job. I hope he will bring comfort to you, too.

@CanadianJohn
A beautiful photo. Hope you are coping okay.

Sorry for your loss, that photo should be in framed and put in your house somewhere.