Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Daughter scared of new cat?

55 replies

Cybergirlclair81 · 04/02/2024 06:51

So we got out first cat yesterday from a shelter. He's a unique looking boy, he's all black long haired with piercing yellow eyes. My youngest picked him, got him home my eldest 17 btw was scared of him. She went to her room and won't come out.

Now she's not scared of cats per se, my youngest has befriended every cat in the estate and has had them in out house feeding them and while my eldest wasn't a lover as such she never bothered with them and the cats never bothered with her.

This guy is also the friendly clingy type, so as I say it's more the look of him I guess he looks naturally cross I guess lol.

Any been in this position really don't want to take him back and I know a fallout will develop if I do.

OP posts:

Thread gallery

Dolphinnoises · 04/02/2024 06:56

Assuming she’s neurotypical, tell her to stop being silly and stop judging things by the way they look

Acatdance · 04/02/2024 07:00

It can be a bit overwhelming having a new animal in the house, however much you love that type of animal. She probably just needs time to get used to him - I would leave her be. Don't fuss round her or censure her, just let her stay in her room if that's what she needs to do. She won't stay there forever.

Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 04/02/2024 07:37

Cat tax (a photograph) of the frightening beast is required so we can judge whether your daughter is being daft or if she has a point 😄.

lifeispainauchocolat · 04/02/2024 08:34

She seventeen years old?

Assuming she's neurotypical then would just let her get on with her silly behaviour tbh.

Original poster

Cybergirlclair81 · 04/02/2024 09:39

Funny my youngest showing her no sympathy said the same "well she has to come out some time"

OP posts:

Original poster

Cybergirlclair81 · 04/02/2024 09:40

Yeah she's at that huffy pain in the ass stage ya know, the whole world is against her type of thing

OP posts:

Octavia64 · 04/02/2024 09:41

I have a cat who has resting bitch face.

I recently hosted a load of foreign teens and one was scared of her.

I just kept talking about how it wasn't the cats fault she had resting butch face and the teen did improve.

(The others loved her!)

Original poster

Cybergirlclair81 · 04/02/2024 09:42

Photo of the beast in question

OP posts:

Original poster

Cybergirlclair81 · 04/02/2024 09:43

Added

OP posts:

dhdbrbr · 04/02/2024 09:44

Are neurotypical teens not allowed to be scared of a cat?

OP I would give it some time for both DD and the cat to settle. It's all very new just now and it might just need time.

I wouldn't make any 'get over it comments' or try to bring them together, leave it low key and see how things progress

dhdbrbr · 04/02/2024 09:44

Ohhh he is a beautiful beast

Smartiepants79 · 04/02/2024 09:45

She’s 17! And Neuro-typical? No known, long standing cat phobia?
Then yes, she just needs to get over it and grow up.
She doesn’t have to engage with the cat, feed it or care for it if that’s her choice but she sounds like she’s behaving like a 7 year old. Just tell her to ignore it.

Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 04/02/2024 09:46

Sorry to be rude - but your daughter is ridiculous. Your cat is very cute and not remotely frightening.

TheOccupier · 04/02/2024 09:47

Is this your new cat? If not, DD needs to get over herself.

ToffeeShocker · 04/02/2024 09:48

She’s probably doing it for attention, you know what teenagers are like, so dramatic. I’d ignore her.

Lovely looking beast, how can you be scared of that?

MyGooseisTotallyLoose · 04/02/2024 09:49

He's lovely, has she voiced what the fear of him doing?

AmserGwely · 04/02/2024 09:52

Get her to read up on cat behaviour signs. When she knows what the behaviours mean, she will feel more confident. I was scared if cats at that age.

LittleBearPad · 04/02/2024 09:52

He’s lovely. She’s being rather dramatic. She’ll come out soon.

lifeispainauchocolat · 04/02/2024 09:52

Are neurotypical teens not allowed to be scared of a cat?

Of course, but the time to say that is before the cat in question is brought into the house.

Or, if she didn't realise how much she would dislike the cat, she's more than capable of using her words instead of shutting herself in her room in a strop.

TinyYellow · 04/02/2024 09:56

Did she know a cat would be moving in and like the idea before she met this particular cat, or do you think she wouldn’t like any cat? Everyone in the family should be in agreement about a new pet before it arrives.

Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 04/02/2024 10:05

You could try to desensitise her with helpful pictures.
Two of our hairy black cats pass on their regards.

lifeispainauchocolat · 04/02/2024 10:07

Everyone in the family should be in agreement about a new pet before it arrives.

I'm not sure I agree with this, actually. Allergies and genuine phobias aside, it's up to the people paying for the pet to decide.

Original poster

Cybergirlclair81 · 04/02/2024 10:10

She was after a dog, one of them big bully dogs too, we rent out house, landlord was fine with a cat not a big dog so I think this is all playing into it too.

OP posts:

lifeispainauchocolat · 04/02/2024 10:12

Cybergirlclair81 · 04/02/2024 10:10

She was after a dog, one of them big bully dogs too, we rent out house, landlord was fine with a cat not a big dog so I think this is all playing into it too.

Ah, so she's having a tantrum.

Just ignore her. She'll get over it.

DdyDaisyDaresYou · 04/02/2024 10:13

lifeispainauchocolat · 04/02/2024 10:12

Ah, so she's having a tantrum.

Just ignore her. She'll get over it.

Show quote history

I agree

Gorgeous cat, what is he called?

Flip

1 2 3