When is it time to say enough?

[Star348]

Hi everyone,

I posted a while ago in the summer about my lovely older male cat who had a bout of pancreatitis. Sadly since then he's never really been back to normal and it has become very difficult to manage and to see him struggling.

I had to take him back to the vets a few weeks ago as he had been vomiting quite frequently and after more blood tests etc, he's been diagnosed with chronic pancreatitis though this isn't the full picture as now for the first time his kidney tests are also off though the vet didn't seem too concerned about that.

He used to be such an outdoorsy, active cat and he has now become a house cat and spends most of his days in our under stairs cupboard just coming out occasionally to use the litter tray and for food. He always seems depressed and restless though we have had some brighter days where he's sat with us on the sofa purring.

The vet has suggested doing an endoscopy and biopsies to check for IBD and yet another blood test related to the kidneys but I'm unsure whether to go ahead as I'm wondering what the long term outcome will be. It's a general anaesthetic to put him through not to mention the actual costs (although I would pay whatever it took to make him well). I'm just not sure if there's going to be a good outcome.

Has anyone else experienced anything similar or have any advice because nothing really seems to be helping and it's becoming quite an upsetting situation. For reference my boy is 14.5 and the vet has not even mentioned the possibility of letting him go.

Thanks

I think you know the answer. Don’t put him through any more misery and suffering.
💐

I would hate for my cat to be struggling as you describe. It does sound like it would be kinder to say goodbye.

I found the vet did not mention the option of letting my elderly girl go.

Even when she had her final emergency and I was prepared for it, they told me she would be treatable - she wasn't.

I often think about the Mumsnet saying of better a day too early than a day too late. I was definitely a day too late and probably months too late. I honestly thought a vet (actually multiple vets) dealing with an intractable problem in an elderly cat would be discussing things much more openly - I was completely wrong.

From what you are saying, your boy has very little in his life that he enjoys. Unless the vet can make a hard promise that this will be better after the tests, I would bring up PTS now.

At that age I would not put him through a general anaesthetic or invasive tests. Sorry 😔

I feel good about using the criteria "Does he still enjoy his favourite things" : for my old cat. Those things were sun, food & laps. When he stopped liking food it was winter so no sun... there were still laps but he got weak & skinny. It was kindness to prevent him from losing his last pleasure, too.

Thank you all, you've pretty much all echoed my own gut feeling in all this. I feel like I've tried my best and ultimately what we've done hasn't helped. I don't want to see him this way

It's time. I wouldn't put him through any more tests.

I'm so sorry. I agree that he shouldn't be put through any more tests, not as his age.

I have a sick cat of my own - around 13 I think - who had a trip to the vet last week, but hasn't improved. He hasn't had tests yet, but I am already fearing the worst. I don't believe in constantly testing and treating elderly cats, unless it is something minor, it's just not fair on them.

We were in a similar position with our last girl. She needed more invasive testing and was becoming really distressed by vet visits which were daily by then. The vet actually did come out and say euthanasia was an option, which was an awful thing to hear even though I knew deep down it was a possibility. I was glad he said it and it helped me realise it was the right thing to do.

So sorry. It's so hard x

Thank you all for your replies. Very difficult situation. I took my boy back to the emergency vets last night as he wasn't eating or drinking. I brought up the possibility of putting him to sleep with the vet but they weren't prepared for that as an option last night. They rang me last night to say his blood results had improved with his kidney function which is good I suppose but he is now anaemic which they believe is due to an infection. And they don't think it is his pancreas, it's all very confusing.

I'm still waiting for an update today. If he doesn't improve I will bringing up the pts option again

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

Echoing all the people here who have said that it may be time. See how much enjoyment he is getting out of life. I've always needed to be the one suggesting the PTS option with vets, rather than the vet suggesting it - although they may say things like "tried everything, not seeing improvement, poor old boy," as a kind of hint I think. But vets may vary I guess. Once I thought our old girl had reached her time and suggested she be PTS (she already had a terminal prognosis) and the vet examined her and then said very clearly that she didn't think it was time yet and the cat actually seemed to be doing surprisingly well (vet was right, cat had another nine months of very happy life). So hopefully the vet will tell you if it's NOT time, if you see what I mean. This is such a hard situation for you.

I definitely wouldn't be putting him through a general anaesthetic or anything invasive at this point, although it sounds as though you already decided not to do that anyway.

I just knew. The vet said he was pretty frail and he kept needing steroids for urine issues
The last thing I wanted was an emergency and him being in pain and driving to out of hours vets etc
I let him go a bit early but it meant he wasn't in pain and he just went to sleep in my arms as loved and safe as he had always felt

Thank you @Bandwaggon . Yes it's really difficult as I don't want to make the wrong decision so kind of hoping the vets would guide me. Maybe this time of he doesn't recover they will say it is time. But perhaps there is also some hope. Here's a photo of my beautiful Rupert taken this Christmas

Oh he is so gorgeous. What a beautiful boy 😍🙏

Hello Rupert you beautiful boy x

Thank you @Bandwaggon . I've had him since I was 16 and he's so precious to me. The vets have just updated, he's stable but anemia is quite severe but seems acute onset as 2 weeks ago his bloods were normal. All his other biochemistry results are largely normal. They are doing an ultrasound this afternoon and will ring me again later.

Fingers crossed for him and for you. This is such an awful thing to go through, and it's partly because of all the uncertainty. Thinking of you both ❤️

@Bandwaggon thank you so much for your support. Yes it is the uncertainty, I really hope they can get to the bottom of what is going on for him and then we can make an informed decision. Still praying maybe there'll be an obvious cause to the anemia as it's sudden onset and they will be able to help him

He is gorgeous. 😻😻 When my old cat Stripey got old, he was 18 1/2 and had led a happy and a time life but in his last couple of years he didn't want to go out much. He still ate and drank and came up for a cuddle. He had arthritis and a supplement to put on his food each day. We found when it got warmer he perked up and went into our garden and lay in the sun each day, but each winter he stayed in. We gave him one last summer. We didn't want him to go through another cold winter when his arthritis was always worse. If you've mentioned PTS to the vet and they don't think it's time I'd be led by them. He looks fine in the photo.

I'm at the same stage as you are OP with my cat. He lays on the radiator all day. Dribbles constantly, has sunken eyes and is a bag of bones now. He's just an old man now. I think I'll be letting him go this week.

Your poor cat. Please, don't let him be subjected to more tests. He's in pain/discomfort - I've currently got a kidney infection and my kidneys are SO painful, so I bet your cat's are.

Have him PTS. He's had enough. He's very handsome, but is also ill and unhappy.

@HowDoTheyGetThroughLife he doesn't have kidney problems...his blood test results have just come back normal for that.
I appreciate what you're saying but I have advocated for him being PTS and the vets haven't advised that at this stage so I'm not sure I can make them do that. I'm trying to do my best for him, it's a very difficult situation as right now even the vets aren't sure what is wrong with him. I am not simply keeping him alive because he's 'handsome', I'm not that cruel.

My dog has IBD, she's nearly 7. The tests were hard on her. Full anaesthetic and endoscopy. Days on drips, various meds. ££££

The food elimination has been really really tough but we've found a prescription feed that suits her.

She lost alot of weight but was otherwise healthy apart from her stomach.

Your cat is a good age, and it's very hard for you when the vets are saying positive facts about the tests.

I only posted really about the ibd thing and to give my experience of that.

Xxx

Just to update, sadly the scan showed severe thickening of his tummy lining which was most likely cancer. Although this was detected in the summer, it seems like the implications of it weren't realized maybe because he also had pancreatitis too. Anyway, I said goodbye to my special boy tonight, I'm heartbroken but it was absolutely the right thing to do and I'm glad the vet supported me in this. Thank you to all who wrote so kindly.

I'm so very sorry. Rupert was a beautiful boy, and you've made the right decision for him. Sending a hug.