How else can we help our new kittens be less afraid?

[Scaredycathelp101]

Our 2 new rescue kittens have been with us just over 24 hours. 4 months old, up to now have lived in kennels with litter mates (were with mum for first 10 weeks). Not been handled much, only by the lady who was fostering them.

They are completely terrified. Spent all yesterday evening hiding in the cat basket. Came out during the night & have used the litter tray/eaten a little.

Since we got up this morning they have found new hiding places and won’t come out. Tried enticing with toys/treats but no joy. We have a feliway plug in, have the same food/litter as they are used to, have them confined to one room and with lots of places to hide if they don’t feel safe. They haven’t eaten or drunk anything/been to the toilet all day.

We are trying to leave them to it as much as possible but is hard with 2 kids (9,13) who are desperate to talk to/play with them. How else can we help them feel secure/less afraid of us?

When we viewed them at the rescue they were literally climbing up the walls & seemed very confident

They were in familiar territory with a familiar human (the rescue staff) present.

Did they interact with you at the rescue?

We saw 3 together- one v outgoing and friendly who unsurprisingly was already adopted.

And 1 hiding under a blanket, 1 halfway between the two.

Cat halfway turned out very confident, cat hiding under a blanket loves us but still goes for the blanket. Our cleaner of 10 years has never even seen her.

@AnnaMagnani yes they were very playful - I didn’t pick them up as the lady said they were a bit nervous as only used to her, but they ran around playing, approached me and one sniffed/licked and nibbled on my fingers.

We’re making baby steps - they actually came out of hiding last night while we were up (admittedly in a different room but still progress on the day before) and they have been very active overnight, climbing & playing together. And they ate all their food which is a relief . They hid again when we got up & I think now they are asleep.

Hopeful but still a bit worried about how afraid they are and whether we are the right home for them.

On tip I saw on here was reading to them and that might satisfy your children's natural desire to interact with them. It gets them used to the voices.

This is all you can do. Patience is key, they will come to you, and they'll soon be playing and bounding round like they own the place.

Stop panicking you're doing everything right, they are petrified, they don't know you or the kids, they don't recognise the smell of the house, they don't know their surroundings and as long as they are eating and drinking when it's quiet at night all is well. They're not ferals which is whole different ball game, be patient and wait, even if it takes a couple of weeks, let them acclimatise and you need to earn their trust, sitting in the room with them without engaging is spot on, animals rely on their senses and smell is the biggest, all of you, but not all at once, just go in without engaging, they'll be watching. Earning their trust is the main thing and you will and then all hell will be let loose!

Give them time. I've done this successfully with feral kittens. That took months. This will only be a few days whilst they get used to their new surroundings.

One thing that's very important is to avoid making eye contact/staring at them.

Just sit on the floor and read a book maybe occasionally roll a little toy or do something that may trigger their interest. Curiosity will soon get the better of them.

@ShennyInfinity we were told their mum was feral or possibly stray. She didn’t come to the rescue direct from another home. She already had a litter of kittens with her on arrival and within a matter of days had this litter. Mum has since been rehomed and apparently has settled rather well so there is hope!

We are being patient in the hopes it will eventually pay off

It will definitely pay off. Then they will start climbing curtains and you will be back on MN asking how to distract them. 😂 You should read the current thread about what cats steal.

@Overtheatlantic they are already doing that today while we’re out at work/school! 🤣

So they hid from us all evening & again this morning when we’ve got up. Yesterday one was peeping out from her hidey hole to watch us at our mealtime but we’re still not much further on. Hoping for further progress on my day off tomorrow. Planning to spend plenty of time in the room in hopes they might dare to come out.

Been doing a bit of research about feral kittens as it seems that’s what these essentially are, and there’s lots of advice saying if you miss the prime socialisation window of 5-12 weeks (and particularly if over 4 months - which ours are) the cats may never be suitable to live in a home. 🙁But what fate befalls them if we don’t keep them? Trying to be positive but still really worried this may not work out how we want.

In the interests of honesty, it's about this time I give up and start cuddling regardless.

Yes, I absolutely know this is what you are supposed to do.

They will eventually decide that you aren't going to eat them. Ferals take a lot longer to decide that because their early lives have been scarier than those of domestic kittens.

Follow Cat Man Chris on Facebook. He does lots of feral kittens rescue and has great advice. There’s also Jackson Galaxy videos for lots of pragmatic advice.

@AnnaMagnani 😆honestly I’d love to! I can’t wait for the day we can. I wouldn’t dare at the minute though, they are just too afraid.

@VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia I do hope so.

We’re making a point of putting their food in the bowls in sight of their hidey hole - one of them was watching so she knows we are providing the food so hoping that also might entice them. I really hope things are a bit different this time next week.

Thanks I’ll take a look later

Social time is usually 2-7 weeks and that's when you introduce usual household noises. I used to hoover around my rescue mum and kittens, washing machine, loud tv etc... but they are very young still and properly still learning. A new house lots to get used to.

If you moved in with a stranger aged 2 how long would it take you to feel comfortable?

If they are coming out when you are not there they will be fine eventually. Dreamies make good training aids once they are a little further on.

Well we’re now at the end of day 5 and trying to see the positives but feeling a bit 😏

Kittens were on the windowsill behind closed blinds when we got up this morning & stayed there until we left for school. When I got back, one was sat on the kitchen worktop. She miaowed at me then went to hide - but it must have spooked her as they didn’t come out for a full 12 hours and have only done so now because we’ve left the room.

They are seeming much more comfortable in their surroundings now but it feels like we have a very long way to go to earn their trust.

I don’t want to give up on them but still feel very unsure whether they are the right fit for our family and we are the right home for them. What if we patiently wait this out and they are still hiding from us in a month or 2 or 3?

It hasn't even been a week yet - you really do need to give them more time. It can take months for new cats and kittens to settle into their homes.

It’s quite sad that you want to give up on them so easily. They are babies, they are scared. Give them time.
Have you had cats before because you seem to be expecting more dog-like behaviour?

Agreed it's been no time at all, they're still learning it's safe to be around you all.

Give it time OP, my two came to me (rescues) at six months old and the fluffy one hid for weeks and I couldn't touch her for months. She now shouts at me if I don't pick her up for cuddles fast enough when she wants them! They'll come round, but cats do everything at their own pace 😁

It took one of my cats three months before he'd come anywhere near us without hissing with fear.

He's nearly nine now and while he's definitely not a lap cat, he absolutely loves a fuss and always greets me with head butts and chirrups.

Lots of cats are not lap cats and don't particularly crave human affection.

You simply aren’t giving them enough time esp if you are already thinking of giving them up.
It has been days not weeks.
They need need and patience. Then more time and patience. They are living creatures not toys and need time to adjust and to learn to trust you.
Sorry if that seems harsh but having been in rescue for a long time it literally boils my piss when people say they will give rescues time but don’t.
I have ( too many) many living in my room at the min. The youngest two were born to a feral mum and rescued from being drowned by farmer. One was affectionate after a week. One came being a hissy Spitty little bitch but I knew if I didn’t take her she was likely to be stuck in the rescue forever. I gave her space, time, food, more space and more time. Then more time and then some more. Right now she is lying wrapped around my neck as I write this.
However if you don’t think/cant/don’t want to give them time then give them back to the rescue now so they can go to someone else while they are still tinies.
Again it’s harsh but another thing that really pisses me off is when people take on kittens then give them up at 4/5/6 months when they are mad little livewires but have lost their ‘little kitten’ cuteness thereby making it so much harder to get them into homes. Please don’t be that person.