@mumsgirls you’re right. I had a bit of a spooky day being pursued from thread to thread last week but I hope it was really clear I don’t think you should be feeling guilty. We have the power and with power comes responsibility, and it’s easy for that responsibility to make us feel guilty.
I think all animals mask pain and actually prey animals are even worse than predators. My Zara, the first horse I actually owned - I paid to buy her from my parents with the first part of my 21st birthday pre-inheritance and then paid for the cremation and putting down which was done behind my back with the second part, and given that it was a relatively small amount of money from a relative my mother hated but which could have changed my life, there’s a lot more I could say about that - but anyway Zara was the bravest horse I’ve ever known. Maybe the bravest being. I knew I’d always be safe over jumps with her even if she was doing these MASSIVE twisting bucks in the middle of them. She did so many things she was scared of with and for me and when she finally threw me - I was severely concussed and cracked an arm bone - she immediately calmed and buried her nose in my back, waiting for me to get up. She was put down shortly afterwards without my knowledge. This was a horse who after a quick lesson at the local riding school would walk calmly down the road with her head at the small of my back to the house and who was like me in that she’d work herself into a proper tizzy but the second I lost my cool or was hurt she’d calm and her number one priority was protecting me and she also saw me as a real protector which I find totally overwhelming in any aspect of life.
I actually really wish Velvet and Zara had met because velvet would have been in Zara’s box on day one. The dialogue would be like this:
Z: I’m eating hay but you seem interesting, small snow leopard thing
V: I want to be your friend
Z: I’ve watched you and you’re actually more stupid than a horse. I don’t know how but please get some more education.
Two days later:
V: I’ve read a brief history of time but haven’t worked out that doors are solid.
Z: fair. Feel free to come over here and run around in no particular direction while I eat hay.
V: cool, that’s my favourite thing to do
Short interlude while V runs around banging her head on doors shouting about quantum physics but nobody gets it because it’s in cat
One more day later:
z: I have to jump tomorrow and I’m a bit worried because my hock hurts and I don’t want my human to know
v (jumping ineffectually into haynet and falling on floor) don’t worry, she’s got a bad hip, she’ll understand
Z: she doesn’t understand all horse - although it’s a damn sight easier than cat you bunch of maniacs - and I can’t make her understand it hurts and I want to do well too so I keep pretending it doesn’t hurt and even vets tell her I can’t be ill if I can buck like that.
V: well. Time to take up the cat lifestyle. Just don’t give a shit, do nothing and meow a bit. You already have fur.
sorry if that little imagined dialogue upset anyone, it’s got me a bit sniffly imagining my current little angel with my actual angel. And all of your angels. Sorry. 3am thoughts.