Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

I can't cope with the noisy cat

58 replies

Despercato · 19/08/2023 20:04

Hi everyone,

Just that really (name changed as I feel awful) - we have an incredibly noisy cat. She meows so loud all the time. It's like having a newborn, she's awake in the middle of the night every night. She meows at our bedroom door just because she wants to see us. She meows loudly in the middle of the night outside as she wants us to open the back door (she's perfectly capable of using the cat flap). I can't cope. It's affecting my mental health, I can't cope with being woken up every single night.

I want to give her up. Is that awful?

OP posts:

Wolfiefan · 19/08/2023 20:59

Out during the day.
In at night. Leave your door open. Eye mask and ear plugs.
We had a very very noisy cat so I’ve been there. YABU to give up a cat just because it’s being a cat.

SummerEnding · 19/08/2023 21:02

I would keep her downstairs at night and have a timed feeder to give her dribs and drabs of food.
Have you been responding to him when he makes lots of noise because that could’ve reinforced his behaviour. I have had cats who have meowed at night both downstairs and outside our windows, but ignoring them has always meant they gave up, eventually.

GeraldTheGoodMouse · 19/08/2023 21:04

What does she do if you let her in the bedroom at night? (I'm assuming you've tried this?).

Danielle9891 · 19/08/2023 21:06

Is she spayed? She could be in heat.
Have you tried feeding her before bed?

My cat woke me up last night for me to open the back door (the only door in the house he can't open himself) once I did he looked outside, realised its raining and ran upstairs into my bed and stole my spot. 🥴

verdantverdure · 19/08/2023 21:08

So long as you give her up safely to a reputable rescue there's no shame in it.

I would only judge you if you get another kitten afterwards.

Yfory · 19/08/2023 21:08

Op I TOTALLY understand how you feel. Id struggle with this too (anxiety, mental health, lack of sleep). To say as someone has upthread "We sometimes have to put up with some inconvenience when we love our pets" completely overlooks the dramatic effect this cat is having on your mental health.
I dont think you should feel guilty or let others make you feel guilty........ sometimes things dont work out as hoped and thats ok. Not every connection between a pet and human is a good match. No one would suggest persisting with a bad marriage or friendship endlessly so why do so with a pet? Makes no sense to me at all. At your house you arent happy, cat isnt happy. Better for you both that she goes to a home with people that appreciate noisy cats, frequent meowing.

justlass · 19/08/2023 21:14

@ConnieTucker Tbh I think in that situation I'd have put mine to sleep straight away rather than her be in pain, but obviously I don't know the actual situation and the reasons.

OP I have two noisy cats, they're only young and play at night. One of them can open doors too, shutting them out isn't simple and involves tying the door handle to another one, cardboard under the threshold to stop him scratching up the carpet etc etc. He's a bloody nightmare. I can understand how you feel, on the worst nights I think about it too, but in the daytime he's adorable.

I'd do everything you possibly can to solve the problem before rehoming of him, as you may regret it. However, if you don't love him anymore it's probably kinder to find a new very good home for him. No judgement from me, I have poor MH too and know how these things can affect you, your own MH has to come before your pet, but just make sure you're making the right decision ❤️

itsmyp4rty · 19/08/2023 21:29

I couldn't and wouldn't live with that either OP, it's a shame but your mental health has to come first. Of course it doesn't mean you can never have a cat for comfort again like some people would have you believe - just make sure you get an adult cat from a rescue that can confirm they're not a loud/talkative cat, I'm sure there are plenty looking for a home.

There are certainly people on here who are happily at the beck and call of their cat and don't mind putting up with any behaviour, there are always posts by people boasting about how demanding their cat is and how they are the servants so I'm sure your cat will find a new owner that doesn't mind his behaviour.

Coffeetree · 19/08/2023 21:37

I once had to approach cat shelters about possibly rehoming a cat, due to a situation that was really insoluble and unforeseeable. They were all full and a couple of them were quite sniffy with me. I finally managed to resolve the issue by rehousing the cat temporarily with a friend. So I imagine that trying to rehome a cat permanently is very difficult indeed.

nolamesallowed · 19/08/2023 21:38

OP your precious little baba cat is more important than your mental health. Fuck your PTSD and fuck you for closing your bedroom door so you can sleep and maintain your equilibrium.

*Or so the deranged cat obsessives on this thread say.
*
Lock it downstairs or rehome it. You are far more important than a cat.

nolamesallowed · 19/08/2023 21:39

Despercato · 19/08/2023 20:43

She's 3. We've had her since she was 4 months. She's always just been a very loud cat. She's perfectly healthy, I've spoken to the vet who has said that's just the way she is. I've had cats my whole life, they've been my comfort when my mental health is in a bad place. But I've never had one that makes me feel miserable.

Please don't criticise me as an owner, unless you have been in my shoes.

Honestly op don't waste your time trying to equal. MN animal lovers aren't equipped with compassion for their fellow man.

SkankingWombat · 19/08/2023 21:59

It's better to rehome responsibly if it is totally unmanageable and making you unwell. It's fairer on the cat too, who isn't having her needs met either.
However, personally I would want to know I'd tried everything first. I would put a cat flap in the bedroom door (or maybe just a cat-sized hole as the opening and shutting might wake you), try a plug in, and consider getting another cat if you think the meowing might be in part down to loneliness.

Conniethecatapillar · 19/08/2023 22:08

Oh I feel your pain! I love my little one but I cannot sleep for the life of me with her in my room and I've tried many times. I have a really small house too so I can hear her scratching at the door downstairs if I lock her in. I bought an outdoor shelter for her and she goes out all night and sleeps in there as it's warm. Obviously if it's freezing I will keep her in but more often than not she is outside all night.

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 19/08/2023 22:21

We shut our cat in the kitchen at nights - she’s in our bed demanding breakfast at 5am otherwise. Initially I felt bad but now you say “beddy bed” and she trots straight through and gets into her bed.

Firefighter22 · 19/08/2023 23:31

If nothing works and she’s happy and well, but by nature is loud and very chatty, and it’s making you unwell then it’s priorities - who comes first, you or your cat.

As long as she is taken to a shelter with a good reputation (might be hard to find one with room though for a bit), then I’m sure someone will be happy to offer a loving home to a vocal cat (as long as the shelter are up front about this . I definitely would, especially as once my hearing aids are out, she would be talking to herself and I’d be none the wiser.

plantingacattree · 19/08/2023 23:48

To me this is like saying you don't want your baby because they cry :( cats are a commitment, if you really love them, you will find a way to resolve the issue. There are many things you can try in this situation. It's about whether you are willing to.
If you really see no other way and do re home her, don't get another. You can't be sure that you won't feel this way again.
No judgment x

cinnamonfrenchtoast · 20/08/2023 07:40

Ah I sympathise - one of ours is a shouter but he only does it when he can see us, so luckily we can shut him downstairs at night but as soon as you open the door he's up and screaming 😂

Could you try fitting an internal cat flap so she can get in/out of your room? Or what happens if you shut her in your room at night?

Pancakebatter · 20/08/2023 07:56

As others have said, shut her in the kitchen at night. My cat had a cat flap and goes out at night. At 6 am she starts screeching under my window, even though she has a cat flap and bed , but she’s unable to get out of the kitchen into the main house. I get up don’t feed her and lock her cat flap , leaving her inside. She gets fed when I get up . She has to wait in her car bed. Unfortunately this is a game we have been playing for years. If you have a litter tray lock her in the kitchen with it .

RandomMess · 20/08/2023 08:04

Oh dear a few issues there.

I too am a very light sleeper.

We have not let our cats outside for many years as it's safer from RTA point of view and kinder to the wildlife population. We now have indoor only cats.

The first 3 weeks were very tough even with ear plugs.

Thereafter the DCats ask to be put to bed with their final treat/meal from about 10pm and not a peep until 7am. Basically it was a battle of wills but now they are to accept it's time for the "big sleep" and their body clocks have adjusted.

Your cat does sound very loud and doing the sleep training will not be fun but it is an option worth trying.

Saverage · 20/08/2023 09:48

Sympathies OP, I've got a foghorn cat as well. I'm lucky in that she is quiet at night (just foghorns every waking minute of the day). She was completely silent in the rescue so there was no way of knowing.

I'd try the catflap/hole in bedroom door if there is no way you can leave the door open a crack.

If you do re-home, well...it happens. Not every owner-pet situation is a good match.

nolamesallowed · 20/08/2023 10:25

plantingacattree · 19/08/2023 23:48

It's not a baby though. It's an animal,

plantingacattree · 20/08/2023 10:43

@nolamesallowed
But why do you get an animal? Just To look at? Or do you get a pet to join the family...?

F0RBIDDEN · 20/08/2023 10:48

Oh I really understand. My cat doesn't even meow at night but she does it all day and it drives me mad sometimes. I'm a very tolerant person so god knows how less tolerant people cope with it. It's like a baby crying all the time! You have my sympathy OP, don't think I'd cope of it was at night too.

SomewhereWithSomeone · 20/08/2023 11:17

There’s probably a reason that she’s so loud, stress, boredom, hearing loss, thyroid etc.

We had a cat that was very loud that had a thyroid issue. We have fostered others that were very vocal because they were stressed and had been left alone a lot previously.

I’d start with a full vet check up including bloods, sight check, hearing check, urine and whatever else the vet suggests.

If nothing is showing in them, then it’s likely to be stress, anxiety, boredom, loneliness and you’ll have to address it. Spend more time with her, a cat flap on your bedroom door, products like feliway, change of food, food activity toys, more hiding places for her etc.

cinnamonfrenchtoast · 20/08/2023 15:01

There’s probably a reason that she’s so loud, stress, boredom, hearing loss, thyroid etc.

There isn't always a fixable reason - some cats are just a lot more talkative than others. Oriental breeds in particular are known for being incredibly talkative and loud.

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread