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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Missing Harry

32 replies

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 17/05/2023 16:24

I can't believe it's 6 weeks since we lost Harry. I always knew I loved him but I never expected it to hurt quite this much, sometimes it's like a physical pain. It sounds awful but I think I've cried more for him than when I lost my parents.

We've started looking to adopt another cat (we'd already been approved but pulled out as it was too soon at the time) but I'm finding it so hard as Harry was everything I ever wanted, he fitted in with us perfectly, or maybe we fitted in with him! When we adopted him I saw him on the rescue website and he was the only cat I wanted, I wasn't interested in the others and that was before I even met him!

It's not helping that the rescues are making it so hard to adopt another cat. Battersea and the RSPCA turned us down because we have a cat proofed garden as 'cats should be allowed to roam'. Battersea then went on to tell me they are full and have a waiting list! Cats Protection turned me down as I don't have children! I'm not asking for a kitten, I've said aged around 4-10 but even older cats aren't suitable apparently. I can adopt from the amazing Stray Cat Rescue Team West Midlands but that will be a 6-7 hour round trip so it will depend whether the cat can travel well.

All I want is a middle aged cat, male, preferably black or black and white but it seems too much to ask. I don't even want a lap cat! I can see why people buy cats or adopt from abroad.

Sorry for the long post, I'm just feeling sorry for myself today. I've added a couple of pictures of Harry in his prime just because.

Missing Harry
Missing Harry
OP posts:
whirlyhead · 17/05/2023 16:26

Harry was gorgeous! I'm sorry for your loss. Where are you based? There are often cat charities on Facebook who are looking for permanent homes so you could search there. There are a number up in Manchester that I follow on Facebook.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 17/05/2023 16:38

Thank you, he really was my special boy.

We're in Surrey. I keep looking and I've found so many stunning cats but they either aren't suitable or the rescue won't rehome to us.

OP posts:
miccoops · 17/05/2023 16:44

I am so sorry, what a stunning boy. I think its good that you are ready to adopt and share your love with another cat that needs it. I do think rescues are the best :-)

Luna animal rescue are excellent, based in Herts so not as far to travel. We've also adopted via RSPCA but I know you have tried them. Wood Green have a site in Godmanchester and they share details online of cats available, again a bit of a drive but not as far as West Midlands.

Defiantlynot41 · 17/05/2023 16:56

I wonder if @thecatneuterer can help? Seems bonkers that cat proofed garden is a negative!
So sorry you are missing Harry, he was a great character.

I'm sure there's a cat out there for you Pink

Allergictoironing · 17/05/2023 17:02

Would mid-Kent be too far for you? Rolvenden Cat Rescue always has cats coming in near enough daily and when I got Tobias there they must have had about 30 black or black & white cats (among many others). All the way from rescued strays or ferals, through rehomed due to death of owner or moving house - they do an awful lot of hoarder multi-cat rescues too.

There's only half a dozen or so with actual pics on the web site, but I think they have up to around 70 or 80 cats there at any one time. They are careful but not silly about the homes they go to, and I think Ruth who runs it would jump at the chance of an adopter with a cat proofed garden!

Call her in the evenings, she tends to be out with the cats all day long. You will get a detailed telephone interview, and if she thinks she has one or more suitable then you go there & choose from the ones she's recommended. I fell in love with a gorgeous B&W 2yo when I chose Tobias, but it a) was a female & I don't think Girlcat would like that & b) showed signs of needing to be an only cat.

Naturally all are neutered, chipped & vaccinated, & fully vet checked again between you choosing them & picking them up 😀

Rolvenden Cat Rescue

An independent cat rescue and rehoming centre in Kent. We are dedicated to the rescue, rehabilitation and rehoming of cats and kittens.

https://www.cats-rolvendenrescue.org/

thecatneuterer · 17/05/2023 17:02

So sorry to hear about Harry. If you're happy to come to Canning Town to collect then I'm sure we can find you a cat. Have a look if anything on our website catches your eye and pm me. We also have quite a few not yet on the site.

InglouriousBasterd · 17/05/2023 17:06

I’m so sorry about Harry Flowers I felt exactly the same when I saw my girl on the adoption website, I knew she was meant to be mine! Can I suggest Animal Rescue and Care based out of Richmond / Twickenham so not too far? They’re great and way more accommodating than any others I tried.

Allergictoironing · 17/05/2023 17:07

And I know what you mean about missing him. Boycat has been gone over 3 months now & I still miss him desperately every day despite having Girlcat cuddling me as much as she can, and Tobias finally starting to settle in.

It won't go away, but the sharpness of the pain dulls a bit over time.Flowers

Floralnomad · 17/05/2023 17:18

Panda on the Celia Hammond website looks absolutely gorgeous .

thecatneuterer · 17/05/2023 17:25

We are specifically looking for a home with a cat proofed garden to take a brain damaged 10 month old boy. Unfortunately he isn't at all friendly, so not at all easy to find a home for. Of course you would also need a friendly one to be a proper pet, but if you could fit an extra one in ........

Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 17/05/2023 18:08

@PinkSparklyPussyCat
It might be worth going back to Battersea. When we got Karl and Lenny from them (Old Windsor) we got a different story from everyone we spoke to there. We were told by one person there that we couldn't adopt a cat without a cat flap. A week later the person I spoke to didn't mention cat flaps. One person said we'd need a home visit, another knew our road and said it would be fine. (This all despite us have adopted Basil and Sybil from them 6 years previously). I think they probably got bored of me nagging them and just offered me two black kittens (with heart murmurs) to make me go away 🤣.
Persistence can pay off.

Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 17/05/2023 18:27

@thecatneuterer
I'm in love with Wolfie 😻

LuckyPeonies · 17/05/2023 20:37

I am so sorry for your loss. Harry was lovely. We lost one of ours almost two months ago and I miss her so much. We have 2 others (plus 3 we are keeping for a relative who can’t care for them at this time) but the house feels empty without her.

Perhaps a needy cat will show up on your door step and adopt you, that is usually what happens to us.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 18/05/2023 09:13

Thank you for all your lovely messages. Someone once told me that no matter how many cats you have there is always a special one and for me that is definitely Harry.

Since I posted yesterday afternoon there has been a surprise development. We had applied to a small rescue to adopt a 10 year old cat called Pebbles. His owner died last July and he was in the empty house on his own for months with someone going in to feed him. He was then moved to the cattery he's in now and has been there since December. He's been offered to several adopters but they turned him down because of his age. I wasn't going to apply as he's the spitting image of Harry but DH told me to do it. We passed the video homecheck and are meeting him on Saturday.

The rescue were delighted we have a cat proofed garden and also that we were interested in a senior cat. Fingers crossed for Saturday...

OP posts:
lostinfusion · 18/05/2023 09:25

Not sure where you are in Surrey but we got our boy from here (we don't have children) - https://www.cats.org.uk/farnham/adopt-a-cat - some cat's on there that require a home without children

https://www.cats.org.uk/farnham/adopt-a-cat

Allergictoironing · 18/05/2023 10:03

Fingers crossed PinkSparkly. His character is going to be very different from Harry's (there could never be another QUITE like him lol) and in time you'll be celebrating the differences.

cushioncovers · 18/05/2023 11:36

I feel your sorrow op. We lost our beautiful ginger boy suddenly last spring. I was absolutely devastated. It took 4 months before I could bare to think about getting another kitten. We had the same issue with getting a rescue so ended up buying two sibling kittens from a lovely family. They have been a joy and filled the hole in my heart.

friskybivalves · 18/05/2023 15:04

If your appt doesn't work out, could you also look at the Protected Paws website on Facebook? They are a rescue based in SW London run by a wonderful vet nurse called Kerry. They usually have an absolute deluge of cats and kittens needing homes. 🐱

MuddaUdders · 18/05/2023 15:29

. The sorrow never really goes away, it ebbs and flows. You'll have good days and bad days, just let yourself go through the motions of it all. It seems like you both had some special and memorable times together. Better to have built these memories than not experience them at all.

Best of luck for Saturday. Really hope it works out for you x

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 18/05/2023 15:31

Thank you for that @friskybivalves, I hadn't come across that rescue. I've had a look and have fallen for a couple of cats but hopefully it will work out with Pebbles

OP posts:
SarahSmith2023 · 18/05/2023 15:37

Harry is gorgeous, that tummy!! 😍

I hope it works out with Pebbles & hopefully Harry will saunter in one day, like he's only been gone an hour!

SarahSmith2023 · 18/05/2023 15:40

SarahSmith2023 · 18/05/2023 15:37

Harry is gorgeous, that tummy!! 😍

I hope it works out with Pebbles & hopefully Harry will saunter in one day, like he's only been gone an hour!

@PinkSparklyPussyCat

Ooh God I'm so sorry, I mixed my cats up & thought Harry had gone missing ..just as I hit send I realised my terrible mistake.

so very sorry 😘

LuckyPeonies · 18/05/2023 21:42

Best wishes for the Saturday meeting, I hope Pebbles turns out to be exactly what you hope for!!

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